The Emmys
Don Rickles should have hosted the Emmys. Or Ricky Gervais. Or any random seat filler.
In sixty years there's never been worse co-hosts than Heidi Klum, Jeff Probst, Howie Mandel, Ryan Seacrest, and Tom Bergeron. (Snow White and the four dwarfs) Suffering through that excruciating opening where they vamped about nothing was like reliving my Uncle Lou's 75th birthday party at Sr. George's Smorgasbord.
And letting Heidi Klum do comedy is like giving a squirrel a grenade.
But Josh Groban's medley of TV themes was fantastic. He's talented, he's funny, he's versatile. Why not have him host the damn show?
The academy got it right this year. Mad Men and 30 Rock both deserved to win. Probably John Adams too. The six minutes I saw of it before falling dead asleep were riveting.
I loved how the Best Reality Host category was saved for the end to build up suspense, as if anyone in the 57 countries watching this show could give a shit.
Note to Mary Tyler Moore - SLEEVES! SLEEVES!!!! For the love of God and all that's holy. SLEEVES!!!!
Without the Emmys, movie actors would have to wait all the way till January to start winning awards.
The only real upset was Bryan Cranston winning over the other deserving nominees and James Spader.
Half the fun of the Emmys is the Pre-Emmys red carpet show. Local station, KTLA always has the best coverage. This year's co-hosts, Sam Rubin and Jessica Holmes conducted the interviews with their usual stupefying flair. I was on the radio at the time and unable to watch but my daughter Annie, and her writing partner Brock did. They provide some of the highlights.
Sam & Jess interviewed five Dexter cast members, of which two died last season. They asked those two specifically what will be happening in the coming season.
Marcia Cross was asked by Sam what kind of sunscreen she was wearing. She said nothing and walked away. Sam announced: "No SPF for Marcia Cross. There's your headline!"
They couldn't pronounce Zeljko Ivanek's name, nor did they appear to know what show he's from. He helped them out (Damages, for which he won) and then Jessica, who apparently had no questions, told him how much she likes ICE ROAD TRUCKERS.
Bill Maher plugged his new movie by saying "it covers a topic that's never been covered before." It's a documentary about religion. Yeah, it's amazing how that topic has somehow slipped between the cracks for the last 10,000 years.
Eva Longoria had a fun outfit, complete with a giant bow. The KTLA "fashion expert", Lori Somebody From Hell liked it, but Jessica asked if she'd heard the rumor that Eva is pregnant. Lori responded: "Well, bows like that are a great way to cover up being knocked up". Classy.
Thanks to Brock & Annie. And my agent, and the crew, and the beautiful escort I got from Craig's List.
Nice touch showing past winners before each acting award. Tina Fey now joins an exclusive club that includes Jackée.
Every year I receive a handsome DVD from TIL' DEATH for "my consideration". And every year I think "in what universe???" Better to spend the $50,000 and hire another writer.
SLEEVES! Mary. Really.
When Ms. Moore clonked into the mic stand, Brock said "she just bumped into her twin."
When you watch the "In Memorial" feature don't you always wonder who's going to be last? Whose death was greater than the other deaths? And aren't you glad they didn't put Jim McKay next to Bozo the Clown?
The director of the Emmys missed an opportunity when he was giving his acceptance speech. He could have cued his own get-off music.
Most beautiful women of the night: Hayden Panettiere, Christina Applegate, Kate Walsh, and the girl in the Olay ad.
Funniest bit of the night: Ricky Gervais demanding his Emmy back from Steve Carell. And Tom Bergeron is trying to do comedy when these two guys are in the same room.
The Laugh In sketch was painful. Like watching home movies of my Uncle Lou's 75th birthday party.
The academy missed a few TV catch phrases in their salute:
"Gggggggggggggggggg!" (Gale Storm as Margie, My Little Margie). "Fuck!" (everyone from Deadwood). "Woof" ...which means "Timmy, Grandpa is caught in a bear trap by the stream near that old oak tree - no, not that old oak tree, the other one - and you have to come quick and bring the first aid kit, but put on some pants first." (Lassie in Lassie), and finally: " " (Kathie Lee Gifford on Regis & Kathie Lee).
Jennifer Love Hewitt looked like the lead singer of the Cars.
I don't think the academy will be giving Tommy Smothers too many more commemorative Emmys. Whether you agreed or disagreed with what he said, you had to admit it meant two less minutes of Howie Mandel.
How come Amy Poehler was nominated in the sitcom category for Saturday Night Live?
For anyone in Azerbaijan saying, "What's Mad Men?" don't feel bad. They're saying that in Iowa too.
Cynthia Nixon has the world's longest neck. She could be the spokesperson for Toys R' Us.
I never understand all these variety-special-series categories. But as long as The Daily Show and the Colbert Report win them I'm happy, whatever they are.
If you're going to have a tribute to MASH, why not have the MASH cast come out of the tent instead of Kathy Griffin?
It's always strange seeing Tom Hanks on stage with Sally Field. She played his mother in Forrest Gump and his girlfriend in Punchline.
Barry Sonnenfeld's directing Emmy still doesn't make up for RV.
Anyone who says Jewish girls don't know how to dress didn't see Sarah Silverman tonight in her Catholic Girl's uniform.
Winner Glenn Close said, ""I think we're proving that complicated, powerful, mature women are sexy and can carry a show." But she forgot to add, "On cable."
How come that winning director for House thanked Hugh Laurie but not Cutthroat Bitch?
And finally, what does it say about the American public's taste when this year's Best Drama lost every week in the ratings to Scott Baio Is 45 and Single?
See you next year when your Emmy hosts will be O.J. Simpson, Barry Bonds, and Phil from The Amazing Race.
You can read more from Ken at kenlevine.blogspot.com
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Ever since Seinfeld did a show about nothing, it has become the operative word...hence this Emmy show. As If those hosts of reality shows were something unique? That was just too too awful.
Speaking of sleeves...Candace Bergen must have had someone else's jacket on, the sleeves didn't start at the shoulder, they started half-way to her neck and her arms were bulging like she padded them with hunk-muscles for some kind of comedy impression. Didn't she know she was coming on the show? Didn't she notice she had gained 50 pounds and should buy a new jacket?
And Glenn Close, congratulating herself on being "sexy" enough to carry a show? uh huh older women and sex, such a winner.
Kathy Griffin was in complete control, she has the stage mastered, more power to her. Go Kathy!
I never watch award shows, don't know why I saw this...but it was a disaster.
i never watch the emmys, but i always end up reading about the show, which always reinforces my decision not to watch the emmys.
seriously, if you aren't in the entertainment industry, why are you watching them give themselves prizes? surely there was something else on some channel somewhere that was not a media circle jerk.
I watched my beloved Packers lose to the Cowboys last night, might have had more fun watching the Emmys...
The Emmys are so out of touch. Not one best drama nomination for HBO's "The Wire" in 6 years, SMH
Great review of the 2008 Emmys, Ken Levine! I completely agreed with all of it. And I'm so glad I'm not the only one that was screaming "Sleeves!" to MTM.
And letting Heidi Klum do comedy is like giving a squirrel a grenade.
GREAT LINE!
I am thinking the entire award ceremony circle jerk - self congraultaory ritual is SO tired, old, beaten to death - it IS like going to a boring family holiday event that is always the same alwyas predictable.
Here's a fabulous idea - change the format. Make it shorter, don't have a comedian host it, but don't make is schmaltzy.
I hate hollywood not for the reason that conservatives do, but because it insists on being a cliche of it's own cliches year after year.
Mad Men is the coolest show around. Check it out, you won't be disappointed.
"...the other deserving nominees and James Spader." Indeed. I don't know why either he or Shatner gets nominations over and over. To me they are cartoons.
Ricky Gervais and Rickles... they would have been superb hosts. Maybe Tina Fey could round it out.
The laugh-in cast was frightening but Tommy Smothers made my night.
I changed the channel every time the hosts were on so it wasn't too painful for me since there was an episode of House I'd managed to miss on a channel opposite the show.
Now I have the new season of Dexter to look forward to, and Boston Legal, 30 Rock and that cute but hokey show where if the guy who runs the pie shop touches anyone, they come to life or die... I wish I could remember the name of the show, it would make watching it much easier!!
I kept telling my husband, "Hey, another nominee from cable!" Almost all of the shows we watch nowadays (except for 30 Rock, The Office, and Life) are on cable. I was happy to see Battlestar Galactica was nominated for writing. Congrats to AMC.
The Emmy's are bullshit. Why? 6 years and not a single award for "The Wire." While "Mad Men" is laudable, the awards have more in common with being named prom king and queen than with actual recognition of merit.
As someone who wrote and produced MASH, a show where one of the main characters was supposedly from Ottumwa, Iowa, and spoke of that state in nothing but loving tones, for you to disparage this (highly literate) state is an insult of enormity. Although I agreed with most of your article, as an Iowa native, I was very disappointed in this needless slight. You owe not only Iowa, but every "flyover" state, a big apology.
I had cable TV in Iowa way back in 1979, in my little apartment while in college. It's not rare.
The Midwest always deserves respect. We wouldn't have food to eat without it.
stagebandman, I wish some show today would hire you if you aren't already working. Maybe you could reintroduce the idea of good writing to them.
That Laugh In bit was truly painful.
Good to see Tommy Smothers though.
It was the worst Emmy show EVER! Just proof that commercial television is on the way out. I rarely watch anything anymore that actually has commercials. Could go on about how advertising has been responsible for ruining our country - but then - Madmen won the award, did'nt it.
Your review of the Emmys was spot on, only I thought the Steve Carrell/Ricky Gervaise bit went on too long. Anything to to with the hosts was horrid, especially the drawn out awarding of the best reality host Emmy. Not funny, and all I could think is--they are cutting off acceptance speeches so this drivel can be done?? My favorite moment was when Kathy Griffin took control and prompted the audience to stand up for Don Rickles. And then they ignored the prepared text --someone in the control room was probably going nuts over that.
Hey hey hey...I live in Iowa and love "Mad Men"! There are a few more things than corn and hogs here!
I can believe that! There must be lots of thinking people in Iowa - they're backing Obama by a substantial margin!
Yeah, I was at a call party for Obama yesterday, and almost everyone I was assigned to call in Iowa was already volunteering for Obama.
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