So for fun I called NBC Friday outraged that they took off my beloved Jay Leno Show for some ski competition. What the hell is going on over that at that stupid network?!
I got voicemail.
The Winter Olympics are here again! If you're a U.S. viewer you can watch them live... except on the West Coast. We have the great misfortune of living in the actual time zone they're being played in. So we see them delayed while folks in Greenland get them live. The opening ceremony got huge ratings for NBC (do I smell a series???) which surprises me just a little. You people in the East and South and Midwest want to see more snow and winter?
But it's the one time in four years that all us closet curling fans have our day. Join me in signing the petition to get our own curling channel on cable. If the NFL has one, why shouldn't we?
My second favorite sport is ski jumping. If only Glenn Beck would take it up.
Third favorite is the one where people ski with rifles and shoot things. This is a sport originated by Claudine Longet.
Thank goodness for Lindsey Vonn. She's the U.S. skier who's also a Sports Illustrated bikini model. Now I can cheer on a hot American athlete and not feel like a pervert. At least once during the ice skating events I see a skater, think "Wow, she's cute" and then realize she's like 10. Lindsey has a sore shin, by the way. I couldn't tell you the status of one other athlete.
Some of the skiing events were postponed on Saturday due to bad weather. Uh, there's always bad weather during the Winter Olympics.
Johnny Weir is the Lady Gaga of Men's Figure Skating. Check out his outfits.
I imagine the best known athlete in the US is Apolo Anton Ohno because he won on Dancing with the Stars. I was always hoping he'd do a tango on the show wearing blades.
I notice that John Tesh is not among the commentators this year. He must be too busy promoting his piano gospel dance DVD.
The luge always looked silly to me. Now it looks tragic.
Whatever happened to Moira Kelly, who starred in that figure skating movie The Cutting Edge?
Mike Emrick is a great hockey announcer. Nice job by Canada over the weekend beating Slovakia 18-0. I can understand if there were 150 shots on goal. But if there were only 19...
I didn't see the opening ceremony, but are these Mounties goose-stepping? When I was a little kid and watched my first Winter Olympics I thought there was some mistake. The United States was losing. In everything. How could that possibly be???
Best of luck to all the athletes, even the "foreigners," and please -- if there's a God -- may Lindsey Vonn's shin heal.
Follow Ken Levine on Twitter: www.twitter.com/KenLevine
They should have outsourced the Chinese.