Only days away from another edition of the big new Fox hit, Moment of Truth. Let's see whose lives they ruin this week. For the sake of prize money, contestants subject themselves to a lie detector test and must correctly answer terribly personal humiliating questions.
Last Monday night some blonde bimbo married to a guy who looks like McLovin from Superbad admitted that she's cheated on her husband (they've been married all of two years) and she is still in love with her ex-boyfriend and would rather be married to him. Oh, and the punchline: she then lost all her money answering a question untruthfully. The question: Do you still think you're a good person? Her answer: Yes.
HORN BLAST! NO! YOU LOSE!
So as a public service of this blog (and you know I'm all about public service) here is a test. If you're thinking of becoming a contestant for Moment of Truth you must be able to answer all of these correctly. (spoiler alert: the correct answer to all of them is True.) Good luck.
TRUE OR FALSE?
I will do anything for money.
I consider myself a whore.
I will destroy my marriage for cab fare.
I will sell my children for whiskey.
I believe the world was formed 200 years ago.
I have sex with animals... usually at their request.
I believe everything our government says.
I go to Oriental massage parlors for massages.
My favorite author is Teri Hatcher.
My recreational drug of choice is steroids.
I have a child who's also a sibling. Maybe two.
I voted for Sanjaya...for president.
I have an ear wax fetish.
I am too stupid to live.
If you get 100% it's (a) the first time that's ever happened for you, and (b) time to contact the producers and make your fortune... that you'll probably trade away for a bag of magic beans.
You can read more from Ken at kenlevine.blogspot.com