Ken Solin

Boomer dating is definitely a contact sport. The bruises are just on the inside. I wrote a wish list of 20 qualities I want in my next Boomer lover in response to Ann Brenoff's wish list for hers. I described my boomer lover honestly and candidly,...

Ann Brenoff's recent article, Love Over 50: 20 Traits Boomer Women Want in Their Next Lover, made me think about my own search. Here's my top 20 wish list for my next Boomer lover:

A lifetime promise I'll never be asked to go to the mall. I'd prefer...

My recent article about emotional honesty in relationships received over 2,100 comments. Clearly, it pushed a lot of men's buttons. The unmistakable, but never-mentioned, common denominator in many comments was fear. My goal is to allay that fear and encourage men to stretch beyond their existing relationship...

Emotional honesty, the topic of my last blog post, received more than 2,000 comments. It's clearly a hot topic, and it pushed a lot of men's buttons. Emotional honesty isn't part of any feminist agenda, and contrary to some comments, being emotionally honest with a woman actually strengthens...

What do these women want anyway? That was the question men frequently asked when the Women's Movement began decades ago. I was a 20-something guy and, like nearly every man I knew, acknowledged that equal pay and career opportunities for women were long overdue. We fully supported women in their...

When I started a men's group decades ago, my intention was simple: I wanted to become a better man. I wanted authentic friendships with other men, to become a better partner, to control my anger and to generally feel better about myself. I discovered that strength of character is developed...

My article, Divorcing an Old Friend, evoked nearly 1,200 comments, most agreeing that sometimes there's no choice. My old friend isn't the only person I've left behind. I divorced my family after decades of hoping our relationship could be different. The misguided pain families frequently inflict on their members is...

When I was a boy, my heroes were the strong, silent types portrayed in the movies. I thought they were the real men. It took me a while to figure out that these guys were frequently troubled and isolated men in their real lives, and even longer -- decades longer...

When I hear the words "men" and "touchy-feely" in the same sentence, I cringe. My reaction to touchy-feely is entirely negative. It conjures up an out-of-control, ineffectual man, who emotes for show, but doesn't actually know how to express his true feelings. And that couldn't be farther from my notion...

I always remember Saint Patrick's Day because that's the day my son was born 45 years ago. I raised him as a single father from the time he was a year old and felt a depth of love -- and an overwhelming sense of responsibility -- I've never experienced before...

Who are the real tough guys? The men who stoically suck up their emotional pain like they were taught to do as boys, or those who work with other men to resolve their issues?

Emotional pain is like a warning light that lets you know something's wrong. And the...

Years ago I became interested in Buddhism, mostly because it seemed more a way of living life and less dependent on dogma than most religions. The one principle that still sticks with me years later is the notion of what the Buddhists call "beginner's eyes." The principle is to be...

A therapist friend of mine once said that advice is the lowest form of conversation. I totally agree with him but would go even further in warning that giving unsolicited advice is a sure way to erode trust and drive people away.

Trust is the single most important ingredient of...

One of the most difficult issues I've had to face in midlife is letting go of an old friend. I've invested considerable time and energy in my men friends over the years, and our support for each other has never wavered. We've been there for each other through my devastation...

Women typically look forward to Valentine's Day, while men frequently dread it. For many years, my anxiety level increased as February 14 approached, because I knew women wanted more from me than the perfunctory gifts of roses and chocolates and that's all I could give. I wasn't able to be...

Look around you the next time you're in town or at the mall. Do you see any obese, old men? You won't, because they're all dead. That fact alone ought to convince you to get -- and stay -- in shape. For midlifers in particular, exercise is necessary to help...

The media loves to feature famous couples who marry after brief courtships because their marriages rarely last and the split-up headlines draw even bigger audiences than the wedding notices did. It's hard to resist watching a train wreck.

What about the rest of us, though -- people who're weary...

I generally write about men and relationships, but when my article, "Divorced Dads Deserve Better," received impassioned comments, I was reminded that divorced parents are still in a relationship, frequently lasting many years. But just because a couple didn't get it right while married, they can still have a respectful...

While there's no particular age when men become quintessential, best friend material, by the time we're Boomers, most of us have a pretty good idea what the term best friend means. A best friend trusts and supports his friends unconditionally. The comfort of knowing your best friend is a phone...

Most men are stoic when it comes to physical pain and are willing to hang tough until it subsides. If that doesn't work, they have no problem seeking out the most effective physical therapy to help them heal quickly and get back in their game, which for some men is...