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Ken Solin

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Dating Boomer Women Is a Joy

Posted: 06/05/2012 1:40 pm

While I'm working on my dating skills, I've been pleased to notice that being open and honest, in conjunction with creating a list of desired qualities, is still a winning dating strategy. The good news for boomer men is that single boomer women aren't jaded about relationships and they're looking for guys who have the right stuff. Dating boomer women is more fun now than it was decades ago, and for many reasons.

I've met amazing 60-something women, most of whom are evolved, accomplished in their fields, comfortable in their own skins and in shape. Much of what I've experienced dating is in sharp contrast to the comments from women that insisted the boomer woman described on my dating list doesn't exist. She does, and in great numbers. These women understand that creating a durable relationship requires some amount of give and take, but that settling for a man who isn't emotionally evolved or in shape is a non-starter. They're tough-minded, in a positive way, and are interested exclusively in men they consider their peers.

I respect and admire these women, and I enjoy their company even when we don't mesh on a relationship level. Meeting so many amazing women has reassured me that creating an enduring friendship/romance with a woman in midlife is still possible. So many boomer women are aging with grace and dignity. Many work hard to keep their minds and bodies in shape, and nearly all know in very specific terms what they want in a man. And, guess what? Money is way down on their lists.

Many midlife women have begun new careers harnessing their previously-learned skills and are accomplishing new goals. An art teacher has become a working artist. A successful therapist has developed a therapy/tutoring business working with children. Many volunteer to help less privileged women identify their new dreams. There's a powerful sisterhood between women that men would do well to emulate.

The complaint from these remarkable women is that too few boomer men meet their requirements and that unlike many men, they prefer to be alone than in a relationship with someone who is lacking relationship skills. The biggest sticking points seem to be related to limited emotional discourse and a distinct lack of personal growth. Some men are living in a time warp and think that men just need to show up to be appreciated. Aging with well-developed emotional skills requires an effort boomer women no longer consider optional. Being in shape matters, too, because it reflects a man's self-esteem.

But not every woman fits in the aforementioned group. I've also met a few who wasted our first date telling me about every guy who treated her badly. That they would do this instead of wanting to learn something about the man sitting in front of them felt pointless. A woman yelled at me on a first date when I asked if we could stop talking about all of her physical ailments. Another complained about an old boyfriend who bought her a cloth coat instead of the fur coat she wanted. No man is going to step into a brand new relationship knowing that his primary task is to save a woman.

Based on what I've gleaned from women, a note of caution is in order for boomer men who only date younger women: You're missing the mother lode, guys. Boomer women have all the qualities a man could want in a partner, and more. A younger woman may be easy to impress and control, but that points to an insecure man. Some Boomer guys erroneously believe a younger woman is the antidote for their waning sexuality. What they failed to learn is that depending on visual stimulation for sexual performance in midlife is a surefire way to end up alone.

If it doesn't live in your heart, your sexuality is going to falter once the novelty of a young body wears off, and when it does, what's left is a young, sexually frustrated girlfriend. How do you suppose that's going to play out? I admire powerful boomer women and I find them far more attractive than their younger counterparts. Being secure in your manhood is the defining quality that helps a man discern the difference.

I've recently met a special boomer woman who's a real firecracker, full of positive emotional and physical energy. She actually has all twenty characteristics on my list, so kindly refrain from insisting that lists are worthless. They are a road map for relationships that help guide men and women to their destination, the most perfect partner. Navigating relationships is difficult enough. Letting life just happen is pointless. There are so many terrific, available boomer women, and being prepared in order to meet the one that most closely resembles your lifestyle is smart dating. Boomer women, I salute you.

 
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