How Older Men Can Maintain Their Sexual Health

04/16/2015 07:14 am ET | Updated Jun 16, 2015

Sexual Struggles
My bullshit meter gets stuck in the red when I hear that 70's the new 60, but boomers aren't aging as quickly as their parents did. Their generation wasn't nearly as aware of their sexuality as boomers. The Kinsey Report for men wasn't published until 1948, and it was 1953 before The Kinsey Report for women came out. But even though we're more knowledgeable today, many boomer men, particularly at the upper end of the age spectrum, struggle with their sexuality.

No Expiration
I think it's critical boomer men remain acutely aware of their sexual health, ideally with the help of a loving partner, but through casual sex if they're not in a relationship. Performance has many meanings, but this article refers to being capable of intercourse. Keep in mind that sex doesn't have an expiration date. My mentor was having sex regularly into his 80s.

The Connection
Sex was my primary measuring stick to evaluate relationships until I turned 50, which was when I learned the best sex includes an emotional connection. I realize casual sex might work for some over-50 guys, but it can't compare with loving sex, in part because trust in a loving relationship enables sexual vulnerability. The most important benefits from learning to connect my heart with my cock are that my libido and performance levels have barely diminished. This connection is learnable at any age.

Sex Tips
A few tips to help men maintain their sexual health include, staying in shape, i.e. being height/weight proportionate, having sex on a regular basis, daily aerobic exercise, a healthy diet, and limiting alcohol intake, especially before sex. The physical benefits of sex are well documented, and a strong emotional connection enhances the quality. When a man in his sixties insists he's no longer interested in sex it typically means he's lost his ability to perform, but sex is too sweet to give up for any reason. I urge men with sexual issues to focus on revitalizing their sexuality instead of giving it up.

The Studies
According to Dr. Tony Sliwinski, urologist at the Virginia Urology Center, "Erectile dysfunction is a prevalent disease estimated to affect half of all men 40-70." That's a staggering percentage begging to be addressed. "The Massachusetts Male Aging Study reports fifty-two percent of men between the ages of 40 and 70 -- more than 30 million American men -- report having some difficulty with erections". Clearly men should arm themselves with knowledge, not just prescriptions.

Anecdotal, But True
A psychologist friend specializes in boomer women's sexual issues. Her clients insist that half the boomer men they date are sexually dysfunctional, a percentage that coincides with the previously mentioned medical information. Now I understand why so many women I met asked if I was still sexual. Clearly a fair number of boomer men aren't, but for many, this can be remedied.

Soft Penises
Pamela Madsen's recent article, 4 Reasons Why Soft Penises Are Underrated, was terrific in scope and attitude. It shared how men could have good sex without being fully erect. In addition Ms. Madsen wrote, As a sex educator, I spend a lot of time talking about women connecting their hearts to their vaginas. What if men got to connect their cocks to their hearts too? What if indeed!

I agreed with this article except Ms. Madsen's suggestion that just getting hard and screwing can get pretty dull. Perhaps, but I doubt a sexually dysfunctional man would consider just getting hard and screwing, dull. Ms. Madsen wisely suggests that boomer men look beyond their cocks to find the solution for their sexual issues. I agree. I've written considerably about the need for men to look beyond the physical to maintain sexual health.

ED Meds
At the first signs of diminished sexual prowess boomer guys should talk with their doctor to ensure there are no serious health related issues involved. If not, and you're in a loving relationship, and the heart/cock connection doesn't help, ED meds might be appropriate. But giving up sex is not.

Easy Guys
And before any younger boomer guy suggests this is 60's, hippy claptrap, like most boomer guys whose mojo is in good working condition, I know this can't be accomplished on a strictly physical basis. That shortsighted approach will most likely end in disappointment. There are no reasons why the majority of boomer men can't remain sexual, especially if they're proactive rather than reactive about their sexual health. It's considerably easier to do the physical and emotional work involved to avoid sexual dysfunction than it is to overcome it.

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