Craig Ferguson: "If you don't vote, you're a moron"

For nearly two weeks now, I've been suffering from a newly-minted malady called Palin-paralysis--a nasty tv-transmitted virus I caught after watching Sarah Palin's divisive and derisive acceptance speech. You know, that salute to "small town values" that lionized plucky, scrappy hockey moms and demonized yucky, crappy community organizers.

The primary symptoms are nausea, a perpetually clenched jaw, and a half-baked Alaska-induced brain freeze; can't get out of bed, can't blog, can't even blog in bed. The surreal spectacle of the Palin pick, the depth of cynicism and carelessness that it demonstrated, and the embrace of this ludicrous choice for veep by so many folks is truly appalling. As Matt Damon told the AP:

"...It's like a really bad Disney movie. You know, the hockey mom, you know--"Oh, I'm just a hockey mom from Alaska!" And she's the president! And it's like, she's facing down Vladimir Putin, using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink. It's just absurd. It's totally absurd and I don't understand why more people aren't talking about how absurd it is. It's a really terrifying possibility. The fact that we've gotten this far...and we're that close to this being a reality is crazy. Crazy."

But the McCain campaign is not so much a bad Disney movie as a Beltway retread of Invasion of The Body Snatchers, in which the straight talkin' maverick senator's crusty ol' carcass comes back to life--well, sort of--as a robotic Rovian pod-politician flatly intoning flagrant lies, pandering to the basest of bases, doing whatever it takes to win. Josh Marshall said it best on Talking Points Memo:

All politicians stretch the truth, massage it into the best fit with their message. But, let's face it, John McCain is running a campaign almost entirely based on straight up lies. Not just exaggerations or half truths but the sort of straight up, up-is-down mind-blowers we've become so accustomed to from the current occupants of the White House...

... John McCain is running the sleaziest, most dishonest and race-baiting campaign of our lifetimes.

As Grist's Dave Roberts noted, McCain, in an interview with a Portland, Maine tv reporter, claimed that Palin "knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America." If he really believes this, he's an idiot, and if he doesn't believe it, he's a shameless liar. Either way, he's demonstrated, yet again, that he doesn't deserve to be president.

E. J. Dionne wrote a column in the Washington Post on Wednesday plaintively entitled "Does The Truth Matter Anymore?" in which he expressed surprise at the McCain campaign's fearless fibbing. Other pundits, notably Chris Matthews and James Carville, are still having trouble reconciling the McCain they once admired with this disingenuous creep and his equally creepy veep.

But wallowing in all the moose manure from Wasilla gets us (on a bridge to) nowhere. After moping around for days, bemoaning the swift-boating of Obama and badgering my female friends to add their voices to the chorus of Women Against Sarah Palin (90,000 strong and growing), what finally roused me out of my slump was a rant from Craig Ferguson, the Scottish talk show host who became an American citizen earlier this year. I never watch the Late Late Show, so I would have missed it if it weren't for this Daily Kos diary from paddykraska. The whole clip is worth watching, but here are some highlights:

"This is a very important election, this one, but you would not know it from the way it's being reported. Y'know politics is covered like show business, now. On the Today Show this morning, they're, like, "Which candidate would you rather have dinner with?" Here's an easy answer--NONE! They're politicians, I don't want dinner with you, I don't want your friendship. Here's what I want to know; what are you going to do for this country, pal? What are you gonna do?...

...The news reports are either very tabloid-y, or they're trying to be funny like Jon Stewart, maybe because more and more people say they're getting their news from late night tv, which, believe me, is not a good idea. I like the Daily Show, I like Jon Stewart, I think he does a bang-up job, a great job, but let him do it. The rest of the news people, TAKE THIS JOB SERIOUSLY! This is important...

...Do you know what bothers me? Every election year, as well, you get the voter registration drives aimed at the young people--"Rock the vote, the vote's crack-a-lackin'!"...are we so lost that we have to be sold our own democratic right? What the hell is wrong with, what is going on? We have to "sexy up" the vote for young people?...

...Here's what I'm saying to you--if you don't vote, you're a moron. I know what you're saying--"well, not voting is a vote." No, it isn't. Not voting is just being stupid.

Voting is not sexy, voting is not hep, it's not fashionable, it's not a movie, it's not a video game, all the kids ain't doin' it. Frankly, voting is a pain in the ass, but here's a word, look it up, it is your DUTY to vote.

The foundation in this democracy is based on free people making free choices, so, young people, if you can't take your hand out of your Cheetos bag long enough to fill out a form, then you can't complain when we end up with President Sanjaya.

Listen, I'm an American. This country, as it is, at war, right now--Americans in foreign lands wearing uniforms representing this country are losing their lives. Americans here in this country are losing their homes. We have two patriotic candidates, right? They both love this country, they have different ideas about what to do with it. Learn about them, read about them, question them, listen to them. Then, on election day, exercise your sacred right as an American, and listen to yourself."

And if you've done your homework, you'll conclude, as Thomas Friedman did, that there's only one choice. Unless, of course, you want to ride the Straight Talk express right off the edge of this hot, flat, crowded earth.

Comments

[ankjack]

We trivialize the election process when we allow the debate to be turned from the effects of the economic whirlpool of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, two wars and health care, to whether or not we should elect a "hot" VP. But then, this shouldn't surprise us much: in a year when higher education and community service have been mocked as "elitist;" when the discussion of "hockey moms" crowds out the inviolability of Habeus Corpus; or when the very right of the people to vote is under attack - the same people who have been victimized by the failed economic policies of the last eight years.

[ankjack]

Perhaps Ferguson's admonition for us to vote simply isn't good enough. It's not just our duty to vote. To paraphrase Jefferson, the Republic can only survive if there is an informed and concerned electorate. It's your duty to become INFORMED. It's your duty to cut past all of the BS, spinmeistering, sensationalism and the made-up importance of brand-name party politics and find out the facts. And if you don't know the difference between the real issues and the made-up ones, here's a hint: the real issues have nothing to do with sexism, racism, ageism, celebrity, bulldogs, lipstick, pigs or pork-busting, and the made up-ones have nothing to do with the economy, Al Qaeda, the Taliban or the health care crisis.

So yes, VOTE. But have a fact or two before you walk in that booth. An informed decision is your DUTY, too.

[redstateblue]

Since I've started sleeping again, I had forgotten that there were some perks to insomnia. Thanks for the reminder. I'm going to TiVo Craig from now on.

[Rosanneofpgh]

DAMN!! Craig said it all! Im impressed!

What I dont understand is why the usa has to get serious news and discussion from COMEDIANS. They are the only ones who tell us the unvarnished truth! And that makes the msm look truly pathethic. I never watch the news on TV and I never buy a newspaper. I get all the news online.

[JEMM]

Craig Ferguson gets it..... Sometimes it takes a former outsider's perspective on voting to tell people like it is. It's your duty. If you don't do it, don't complain.

[TheReturn]

With the Republicans counting the votes (Florida 2000) and controlling registration(2004)

My biggest worry is that my absentee ballot will be "lost in the mail."

[OutsideLookingIn]

"exercise your sacred right as an American" and vote?

Perhaps there's a certain discouraging tarnish on the 'sacred right' given that you only have two parties on offer, both of which offer exactly the same in the sense of God, Country and Apple Pie and differ only in the details which are largely irrelevant, and often incomprehensible, to most people - leaving them with no other basis on which to base their choice on but "which would I prefer to have a beer with.' And even then "the will of the people" is subjected to an electoral college system that doesn't necessarily reflect the popular choice, a'la the 2000 election. Not voting is a protest against the status quo.

What would Americans do if they were faced with a voting system based on proportional representation such as many European countries have? A system whereunder EVERY vote has equal weight in the final result, where single issue parties such as environmentalists, the religious, native-rights, communists and fascists etc. can put themselves forward with a genuine hope of getting a toe-hold and thus a voice in government, and where voters have to be aware of and balance a colourful, subtle and constantly shifting political landscape.

[Miravanguild]

The best cure for that is to watch her clueless interview... No teleprompter...

[allonfla]

I happen to have seen this because I was watching Obama on Letterman. He is soo right and I wish it was a commercial that ran over and over. Most Americans do not take their right to vote very seriously. They use it as a way to punish a candidate, like not voting for Obama because Hillary didn't win, or voting for McCain because Hillary didn't win or they just don't vote at all because they don't think it counts. When you add up all the people who say their votes don't count, it counts big time. I don't believe Americans will appreciate their voting rights until it is taken away as it has in third world countries.

[TStone]

As an Australian I can not fathom how a country that claims to be the protector of democracy doesn't have compulsory voting.

Freedoma dn democracy doesn't mean anything if you actually don't use your voice to be heard.

Democracy is government following the will of the people - and if the people are so apatheic that they can't make it to polls then you fine them for not going - the only way a democracy actually works is if there is participation.

How can you have a democracti government when half the people don't vote? It makes no sense.