THE BLOG
08/06/2013 03:34 pm ET Updated Oct 06, 2013

5 Craziest Crimes of the Week

"Guns Kill" -- but, Bean Bag Guns?

We've all heard the warning "guns kill" -- but we probably didn't think it included bean bag guns. Well, neither did 95-year-old John Warna, a resident at a Chicago senior living community. Warna had refused medical treatment and became combative when an ambulance crew was trying to get him into the ambulance. The police were called in and Warna threatened them with a metal cane and a 2-foot shoehorn. But, I guess that wasn't working so then he dropped those and was brandishing a 12-inch butcher knife. The police hit him with a Taser, and when that didn't stop him they shot Warna with a bean bag round. The medical examiner ruled that he died of hemoperitoneum, internal bleeding due to blunt-force trauma to the abdomen, caused by the bean bag shot.

Jail Time for Taking a Dump

The judges upheld a conviction against Ronald Strong, 50, for covering 75 percent of the floor of a federal courthouse in Maine with poop -- yes, feces -- which not only covered the floor but was smeared up on the walls too. Strong said he didn't mean to leave the bathroom a "dump" and defended himself by explaining that his heart medication caused him to poop in his pants and in his attempt to clean himself he didn't realize what a big mess he was making. He likened it to spilling spaghetti with meat sauce and trying to clean it up really fast. The judges didn't see it his way and were influenced by the cleaner's report that this was not just finger smears but more like chunky peanut butter. Although the judges didn't get a chance to see it for themselves (could you just see that, holding up their black robes to avoid them trailing in the poop) they decided that there're was just too much of a mess for it to have been an accident and it must have been deliberate vandalism and gave him a week in jail to clean up his act.

The Cost of Serving Cheap Booze

TGI Friday's is paying big time for serving cheap booze. Eight business locations in the state of New Jersey settled charges that they cheated their customers and will be paying a fine of $500,000 to the state. A sting operation caught 29 restaurants, 13 of them TGI Friday's, serving their patrons cheap booze instead of the premium alcohol they had ordered. One of the restaurants was actually selling a mixture of rubbing alcohol and caramel as scotch. But, the fine may be the least of their worries -- the dreadful publicity they are getting for blatantly ripping off their patrons will probably cost them more than that.

A True Survival Story

A Canadian woman was riding in a truck with four others when it broke down on a rural road in the Alberta wilderness. She stayed with the truck with one of the men while the others went for help -- probably thinking she would be safer staying behind. Boy was that the wrong choice -- little did she know that the man who stayed with her was violent and had ulterior motives. When he attacked her, breaking her jaw, she fled into the forest -- and got lost. She survived 12 days by drinking river water and foraging for berries and was finally found wandering down a dirt road. The alleged attacker had told the police he had no idea where she had gone when she was reported missing. He has been charged with sexual assault, aggravated assault and obstructing an officer.

There's a Monster in my Closet!

As kids we all worried about the monster in our closet at one time or another whether we will admit it or not. Well, maybe you will relate to 30-year-old Arizona resident Adam Glenn Hamilton. It seems that he was convinced that there were demons in his closet. He was seen wandering around his home reciting Bible verses before he started a fire with paint thinner in his closet. He had meant to warn his roommates, who were home at the time of the fire, but he said it slipped his mind. Hamilton ran fleed the house barefoot and was later found with burned feet and a lighter. He was taken to a hospital in Arizona and arrested on multiple charges, including arson.