There aren't many things more disturbing than watching a bunch of stodgy white Republicans mechanically bop around to the beat of Earth Wind & Fire's "Dancin' in September." But it was a necessary evil in order to be sure and hear from McCain's pick for President -- once he knocks off a few months following his inauguration if elected.
I've gotta say that as a feminist and former Hillary-supporter, I had a big twinge of jealousy to have the Republicans be the only ticket to represent both sides of humanity this election. I've got two kids with special needs, so it made it even harder to hear all the flippant references to Sarah Palin's "Downs baby" the last few days.
But early on in the speech, when she said to families with special needs children, "You'll have a friend in the White House", it melted away her enchanting 'folksy' personality on stage and highlighted a solid truth: She is the definitive portrait of right-wing hackery.
In fact, Mrs. Palin has chosen to get behind a man who refuses to acknowledge that No Child Left Behind is not only a failure for our educational system, it is specifically horrific for special needs children and the underprivileged.
The GOP is wasting no time in attempting to capitalize on the sexism encountered during the Democratic primary. With fingers crossed, they're clearly betting on the Obama campaign and commentators going a little bit too far in their criticisms and be perceived as overly harsh in their criticisms of Palin.
The narrative that Karl Rove and other desperate Republican commentators are trying to push is that all women, especially Hillary supporters, will identify with Governor Palin. In other words: don't piss the ladies off by criticizing her -- you know, because women are all emotional and stuff.
Rove desperately trying to defend the Republican VP nominee, said that the Democrats are basically shooting themselves in the foot to criticize Sarah Palin because she's "every woman."
And in the moments leading up to her speech, Rove cranked it up a notch during an interview with Fox's Sean Hannity by claiming Palin will basically be 'working from home' by running the free world from the White House.
But as a woman and feminist, I'm not buying all the rhetoric. Mainly because Sarah Palin is the most anti-women woman to hit national politics to date.
Indeed, not every woman can deliver quite as charming a speech as Governor Palin did at the Republican National Convention.
But not every woman comes from a church whose pastor preaches that critics of George W Bush will be banished to hell and that 9/11 was part of a war "contending for your faith." And not every woman thinks the Iraq war is part of God's plan.
Not every woman values fetuses, but not teenage mothers or their babies. (And that's a little ironic given her current situation -- not every woman both exploits and publicly shames her own daughter the same day.)
Not every woman gets support and encouragement from her in-laws to first run for office, then once elected governor, endorses a mayoral candidate running against her own mother-in-law.
Not every woman thinks it's perfectly alright for a woman to be paid less than a man for the same work.
Not every woman wants to plunder our wildlife refuges and make sure the oil companies get every last penny from our oil-addicted pockets, rather than work toward energy independence. And by that, I mean the kind of energy independence that doesn't mean pillaging land resources to keep our Hummers running.
Selecting Sarah Palin as his running mate is yet another way John McCain proves he's completely out of touch -- in not realizing women aren't manipulated so easily.
Not all of us are "hockey moms." In fact, in today's cash-strapped economy, affording an extra-curricular activity like hockey is something only for the elite, which the Republicans are pretending not to be this week.
Not every woman feels that giving up a lucrative law career, as Obama did, to be a community organizer in the poverty-stricken south side of Chicago is worthless work. In fact many women have given up careers to care for others.
Sarah Palin did an adept job as coming off as the female heroine during her convention speech. But that's the point -- McCain's bid for the presidency is dependent on someone rescuing it.
But no amount of skillful speeches from a well-dressed woman will convince my vagina to vote for an out-of-touch man who only wants more of the same.
Follow Kim Mance on Twitter: www.twitter.com/kimmance