It is now 2011, and the Vatican has been flooded with new information, new warnings and more horrific stories of sexual abuse from around the globe. Still, I have yet to read the one simple phrase, "I'm sorry," from the Pope or his entourage directed to any of the hundreds of thousands of victims. Instead, the Vatican and the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops have submitted vapid pamphlets preaching 'no tolerance' to their agents and parishioners, promoting a band-aid fix while the deep wounds of hundreds of thousands of victims and survivors continue to bleed.
In fact, it seems Pope Benedict XVI and the Roman Catholic Church have learned little if anything about the concept of apology -- an unconditional apology that is desperately needed for clergy abuse victims and survivors all over the world. Instead, the Church continues to arrogantly cover up, ignore, and shift the blame.
William F. McMurry, legal advocate and expert on Vatican procedure and clergy abuse, says, "When a child begins to accept the notion of God, he or she begins the process of spiritual development, which comforts the child with a feeling of harmony or oneness with God. Spiritual development of the young remains the foundational mission of the Church. How ironic, then, that a Church destroys its mission by fostering a culture of child sexual abuse, yet clings to its mission without remorse. When the fathers of the Church become monsters in the eyes of a child, many are never again able to experience harmony or any connection with God. God (the Church) becomes a nightmare-induced monster who will forever sit at the foot of the child's bed, poised to devour him or her."
As a survivor of clergy abuse, I remain painfully aware that there have been no apologies from Pope Benedict XVI and his hierarchy ... unless you count the letter from J. Nathan Bland of the U.S. Embassy to the Holy See, who wrote to me: ... "We express sympathy for your pain." Certainly not the 'one simple phrase' of open apology: "I'm sorry," or better yet, I'm deeply sorry for shattering your childhood, inflicting upon you lifelong monsters, and making you live a walking, waking nightmare in your adulthood" from the Pope and Vatican.
I spoke with Louisville, Kentucky lawyer and advocate for those abused by clergy, Mikell Grafton and asked her if she had she seen any changes in the Church's policies designed to ensure the safety of vulnerable persons and children in the past year. Grafton referred to her current clergy abuse case, Weiter vs. Roman Catholic Bishop of Louisville, and said, "Look at the Weiter case, where in 2011 you have a convicted child rapist priest, who while on probation continued to maintain a post on the Catholic Church Parish Council. And an accused pedophile priest who was hidden in the rectory in the same room where another pedophile priest had brutally strangled and fondled the children from a generation before. In other words, same circus, different clowns."
While I've never been fond of clowns, I am a fan of simple phrases like "I'm sorry." An apology would show victims of clergy abuse that the Church does not sanction what it has done. An apology is a powerful way to heal, move forward and restore trust for all. One simple phrase - I'm sorry -- would show the world that the Roman Catholic Church indeed cares about victims and survivors and the immense pain and harm we have suffered. In light of the magnitude of the pain inflicted, the harm done and the lives shattered, one simple phrase is not too much to ask.
We are still waiting. Many of us though wounded, have survived, but I have seen a heart-wrenching destruction of lives caused by clergy abuse inflicted on innocents. Destruction akin to an infinite, cruel storm cutting off life paths. Some, their life's blood finally drained from their wounds have committed suicide, while countless others suffer in hopeless silence.
So ... here we are, back to Easter, the season during which millions of Catholics and clergy will be celebrating the resurrection of Jesus.
But what of the victims? The unheard voices? Voices, who deserve the Church's unqualified apology for their darkness, from which they could take strength. I'm still answering just as many calls, e-mails and letters from them as I did in the past year. And again I know many victims and survivors will not be celebrating Easter, instead they will spend the day religious-empty, weeping as they battle life-long monsters. Just as I know Jesus weeps.
And they wait. Always waiting, for one simple phrase that could begin the process of healing.
Follow Kim Michele Richardson on Twitter: www.twitter.com/writernwaiting
Cardinal sorry in record clergy abuse payout - CNN
Catholic sex abuse cases - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Pope apologises for sexual abuse by clergy in Australia | World ...
Pope Apologizes for Clergy Sex Abuse in Australia, Christian News ...
Archbishop Listecki Apologizes For Priest's Sex Abuse - Milwaukee ...
would be offered, and somehow some were made, would they have really have the
power of healing?
And if religion, the belief in God somehow matters, simply converting from the Church
to God / Jesus might solve the problem much better. After all Jesus gave the rather
interesting advice, formulated differently, to stay at home on Sunday, far away from any
church. There is a lot to be said for that.
http://socratesbooks.blogspot.com/2010/06/church-scandals-and-vaticans-handling.html
And to folks who think Ms. Richardson is a church basher, I wonder what would they do if it were their child, or themselves who had been abused by a neighbor, or stranger. I wonder if their opinion of the predator would change if they were not a member of clergy.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2010-06-11-vatican-pope-victims_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip
"VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope Benedict XVI begged forgiveness Friday from clerical abuse victims for the sins of priests and promised to "do everything possible" to ensure prelates don't rape or molest children ever again.
Benedict's pledge was similar to comments he has made over time in the past." Veritas.
http://www¬.vatican.v¬a/holy_fat¬her/benedi¬ct_xvi/spe¬eches/2010¬/december/¬documents/¬hf_ben-xvi-_spe_20101¬220_curia-¬auguri_en.¬html
This is what he had to say about pedophile priests:
“The face of the Church is stained with dust, and this is how we have seen it. Her garment is torn – by the sins of priests. . . . We must accept this humiliatio¬n as an exhortatio¬n to truth and a call to renewal. Only the truth saves. We must ask ourselves what we can do to repair as much as possible the injustice that has occurred. We must ask ourselves what was wrong in our proclamati¬on, in our whole way of living the Christian life, to allow such a thing to happen. We must discover a new resolutene¬ss in faith and in doing good. We must be capable of doing penance. We must be determined to make every possible effort in priestly formation to prevent anything of the kind from happening again.”
I am not sure how this does not count as an apology. Sorrow for sin and a resolution to change and make reparations are the foundations of penance. I have heard repeatedly that the Pope has said nothing in the way of apology or reform. But he has. Again and again.
Among other services this organization helps victims contact legal authorities:
http://www.usccb.org/ocyp/victim_assistance.shtml
They raped over 10,000 children in the U.S, and the number is likely 2 to 3 times that, but many never come forward. They lie about it, and do whatever they can to hide the truth. They shun and discredit the victims of their own child rape, these poor children of God that have suffered the worst evil imaginable.
"I'm sorry". Ok, we're even? Wrong.
How bout this - stop donating to the church. Start up similar churches in garages and gymnasiums. Take only priests that pass a lie detector test. Empty the current churches, and let the leaders be vilified by society as they have done to the rape victims. Its a shame that they outlasted the statute of limitations, but if litigators can find something to imprison them for, put them in the general population. Tell the guards to turn the other way.
We're still not even, but my approach is better justice.
Do you disagree?
"I'm sorry".
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Please post the source of the above statement?
This Pope hardly gives me the feeling Christ does.
Some Pope prophesies have him pretty close to being the last.
Gotta stay tuned I guess.
Once I saw through that lie the edifice of the Catholic Church and by it all Christianity crumbled in my eyes.
That was over forty years ago. Today, I let no man get between God and I, no matter how holy he claims to be.
I do not think the great millstone thingee was the best example to use. Some might not think about that or the real depth in that justice system of those leading these "little ones".
I said in my post, "The Priests who are guilty of this crime have not only destroyed the person with a lifetime of mental torture (of which, no one who hasn't experience d it, would know); but they have destroyed the "souls" of these innocent children." The key words I stated are "the Priests who are guilty," not pretending to know the full number or the particulars of their crimes against the innocent. And if you think that "adolescent boys" are not children, then you are not playing with a full deck.
"the very, very intentional
coverup and
self-interested dismissal of the severity,
and even the existence
of these crimes"
9/19/10
It's not an apology you want it's a bullhorn
A statement from the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (Snap), gave a cautious welcome to news of the meeting. "Every time clergy sex crimes and cover-ups are discussed, it can be positive. We hope each of these brave individuals feels better as a result of the meeting, both now and years from now."
Earlier yesterday Benedict said that he and the entire church felt shamed by the behaviour of priests who had caused "immense suffering". Using his strongest language so far, the Pope said: "I express my deep sorrow to the innocent victims of these unspeakable crimes".
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Agreed.
TWILIGHT OF THE SCANDAL
By Kiera McCaffrey
http://www.catholicleague.org/catalyst.php?year=2006&month=December&read=2156
Christ is not risen, there is no Resurrection, their faith is in vain, nay, their faith is a veil for their income. "Nemo dat quod non habet." No one gives what they do not have. They have no compassion, no sincerity, no regrets. They cannot offer what they do not have.
Wonder if there still Gold in Fort Knox.
I don't know if you will see this, I pray that you will. I am a Catholc and I am so very sorry for what happened to you. You did not deserve this. You are precious, you are created in the divine image of God, you deserved so much better. The Church failed you, we hurt you. I cannot give you back your childhood,which was stolen from you, I cannot give you back any of the years, days and moments that you have struggled with pain from this, I am just so very, very sorry. I pray for peace for you. As a Church we have so much to make up for. This is my weak attempt at a first step.
Kelly Gutensohn
kindest
k
Your blog entries, that I read for the first time today, have brought me to tears for you and all of the victims. I am not one to cry easily and I am also not one to sit by and do nothing, I wrote a letter today to Pope Benedict, both inspired and fired by your posts, if you would like a copy of my letter please send me your email address and I will forward it to you. my email address is kjgute@aol.com. I also plan to give copies of your book to many Catholic family members and friends. We all need to face what has happened and then figure out our way home. You are an amazing and inspiring woman, I hope that other victims see your bravery and are encouraged by your strength. I know that I am!
Blessings,
Kelly
For me, a sincere apology is unconditional and should include, will you forgive me. It is not a generalized statement read to the world, but is personalized and individual to each individual.
kindest
k
Best regards, Juna