I knew I was not the only one sitting in this position. I was in my early thirties, single, gay, a professional, intelligent, and not knowing where to find that "special someone" also stable in all aspects of her life. I have never had an issue meeting new people -- I'm a total extrovert. The problem was, I prioritized my professional career and didn't have time to go on dates with numerous people, hoping desperately to meet "my match." The relationships I did have were with women living outside my city, and it was exhausting.
Before founding my company, Mixology, I worked as a matchmaker in the D.C. metro area. I was out and proud to everyone there. I worked as a matchmaker for several years, loved what I was doing, loved my clients and the relationships I was building, but realized that since I'm a lesbian, I couldn't hire a matchmaker like myself and my colleagues. I saw a problem, and naturally, came up with the solution.
I hear all the time: "dating is so hard," "I feel like I know everyone," "I am so picky." There are so many reasons why LGBT matchmaking is crucial in today's world. In past years, we've relied on dating websites and hook-up mobile apps. For me, technology took the fun out of going on dates and getting to know someone face to face. Many of us are so quick to judge someone by how they look. I quickly realized, unfortunately, that pictures can be deceiving... which is why a meeting in person is so important when pursuing a relationship. I have lived in a few major metropolitan cities -- dating is hard everywhere. The issue for me, which I'm sure many people would agree, is that there are only so many gay bars where professional singles go to socialize, and it seems like social networks are incestuous, or friends are coupled up.
On the professional note, it's unfortunate that not everyone has the luxury of being "out" at their place of employment, which causes a slew of other issues as far as dating online. For me and others like me, gay matchmaking provides the confidentiality that a lot of people need.
What works for me? Dating outside of my comfort zone. I learned that I can't judge someone by her looks, and I can't decide in the first three seconds of a date that I don't want to date her because I can't see myself sleeping with her immediately. As I grew older and more mature, it was clear I wanted the "whole package" and not just the hottest woman in the room. I have become more open when it comes to selecting who to ask out on a date. Every date teaches me something new about what I have to offer a potential partner, as well as what's important to me in a long-term partnership.
It's crucial not to judge your date before you have a conversation with them and get to know them. Remember you made the decision to meet this person, so leave judgments at home. After all, who knows what the outcome may be.
Kim Rosenberg, Founder/CEO of Mixology - Matchmaking with a Twist, got her start in the industry working several years at a prominent international matchmaking company. Kim founded Mixology after realizing a need for matchmaking services in the LGBTQ community, which now has clients in ten cities. She maintains a seat on the Point Foundation host committee and is also an advisor for the Next Generation Leadership Foundation. Kim has recently been honored in Washington Business Journal "Top 40 Under 40" and in Bethesda Magazine for her work. Kim was also a featured expert in WJLA ABC7 news, Smart CEO Magazine, SheWired, and Washington Blade. Mixology has been featured on Oxygen network's Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, and on Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker matching featured guests. Prior to her business career, Kim played semi-professional women's soccer.
To connect with Kim or for more information, find her on Twitter, @KimRosenbergDC or on Mixology's website, www.ReadyToMix.com