This had been a particularly rough April, aka "Autism Awareness Month." I'm trying to find the bright spots where I can. As always, I begin in my own home, with my three daughters, who have autism, and who can make me smile and laugh (and shake my head and holler, I admit) from morning to night.
This month, several people with autism wandered away from home and were reported missing. Most returned home safely, like Nadia Bloom, the witty youngster with Asperger's who stood in a swamp for four days until her miraculous rescue. Three year old Aiden Johnson of Arkansas was not so fortunate. He wandered away from his grandmother's house and drowned nearby. Erik Lippmann, age 30, was found dead on the beach in California, after having gone missing several days ago. Others included:
Kevin Kwok, 17, Ontario - found
Ryan Beaudette, 14, NY - found
Hallden Parrish, 16, FL - found
Brian Ortiz-Molina, 14, FL - found
Rebecca Collins-Fisher, 16, FL - found
Cody Daniel Jones-Barnard, 13, OR - found
This week, Daniel McLatchie, 44 shot his 22-year-old son Benjamin and then turned the gun on himself, in Maine. The newspaper report read, "it appeared that Daniel McLatchie was upset about what would happen to his autistic son after he and his wife died."
In February, a wealthy Manhattan executive named Gigi Jordan fed her eight-year-old son pills until he seized into death.
And lest you think it's Americans for whom the stress of autism is a burden, a Mum in London forced her 12-year-old "severely autistic" son to drink bleach, killing him. "Satpal Singh is believed to have killed the 12-year-old boy as she struggled to cope with looking after him."
Autism should not be a death sentence.
I wish I could tell you that autism brings only love and joy and candy canes and OMG! Ponies! Sometimes it feels like that's all the media (and even some within the autism world) want to hear from those of us living day to day caring for a loved one(s) or even those with the diagnosis themselves. If only that were the full reality for families. It's not.
However, that doesn't mean autism is nothing but stress and challenges and tears. Not by a long shot. And it doesn't mean people with autism are doomed. Not even as adults.
Last weekend, the carnival came to my town. And I knew "he" would be there.
Bob.
Bob who has autism, looks to be in his 40s, and rides the scrambler from the moment the gates open until they close.
My girls love the Scrambler. It moves fast, it activates their sensory systems, it makes them laugh with giddy excitement. It's always our first ride at the carnival. We approached the ride, having arrived just moments after the gates opened, and sure enough, there was Bob, already in his Scrambler seat. I said to the young ticket taker, "He's here!" cocking my head toward Bob. "Of course," he answered, "that's Bob and he's been coming for 15 years." The ticket taker couldn't have been more than 21 years old.
I smiled and said, "Hi, Bob!" waving from the car where Bella and I were squished into one side. Bob waved back, grinning from ear to ear. The ride started, the slow sweep of the cars picked up speed until we were flying across the blacktop of the middle school parking lot where two of my girls are in special education for their autism. I heard Bella begin to laugh. I saw Mia and Gianna's wide smiles as they whooshed past us in their own car.
And I heard the glorious intonations from Bob. He rocked furiously back and forth, loudly proclaiming his joy in his own language. The ride slowed down. I wiped the tears from my eyes (it was the wind, I swear.) As I walked past the ticket taker, I said, "Thank you. And keep an eye on Bob."
"I will," he answered.
How about you? Will you keep an eye on the Bobs of the world?
Follow Kim Stagliano on Twitter: www.twitter.com/KimStagliano
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Once he showed up saying that his brother had hit him and he wasn't going home. I called the cops and was told they could take him to jail and charge him with trespassing. I called the state hotline for elder/disabled abuse, and heard back from his case worker. The case worker said he had autism and his guardians were fine and that he told lies. Ok, then why do I see him 10+ miles from home riding the bus by himself? Why is he always dirty and smelling of urine? Why do the police know him and treat him like a criminal, if his guardians are so great?
If he were a child or an ANIMAL, some agency would have picked him up and brought him somewhere safe. Instead, the case worker acted like I had been tricked by a clever liar! Our society cares more about stray dogs than mentally retarded adults. I'm not surprised that a despondent parent would murder their child rather than abandon them to an incompetent state bureaucracy.
Thank you for writing this post. As a parent of an eighteen year old son with ASD I've seen many of these incidents and many deaths go unaddressed, unanswered, and most concerning to me no data being collected to see just how common these tragedies are. My brother's death was the thing that made me start looking into this now ten years ago. We've been working to try to effect systems change since, I don't want our son dying the way we could not prevent for my brother.
But there needs to be some proactive measures taken by the ASD community to get this done. Why don't the incident reports that officers complete on a daily basis, that record these incidents, have a demographic to show a person has a disability, and even more specifically autism?
For me, someone that completed those forms for twenty one years, I needed to discuss it and have. But we need a bigger voice folks. We can also keep continuing to discuss it, comment and try to keep our kids safe, but we won't be able to show these things are happening more often for individuals with ASD unless that data is kept. Same with victimization.
I live in the same area as Erik Lippman and saw his story unfold on the news. First the local man goes missing story with his description and a photo showing him wearing a t-shirt embossed with butterflies. Then film of his mother passing out fliers with his photo to passing strangers. And then the news of his death. It just ripped my heart to pieces. I'll never understand why gentle flowers fade so quickly while thorns and thistles cover the land and drive their bitter roots deep into the fragile earth.
but there are lots of cases where children and adults with Special Needs have wandered off or have been killed by law enforcement due to the fact they dont have the training to handle them or to know the difference and young man was killed back in March by officers their excuse their offices only got a one hour training course on this subject. I feel that more understanding is needed more out reach facilities and workshops for parents are needed to help us cope
I have not worked since 2001 my son was diagnosed in 1999 I tried to work but when you have to go to IEP meetings therapy sessions etc so one of us had to stop working and it was me. He is now 14 and instead of it getting better it seems to be getting worse High School is rough some teachers not understanding what needs to be done or not wanting the kids in their class rooms. Sorry got off topic a bit,
maurine
My boyfriend sent me this and the beauty touched us both. You conjured a summer day with breezes and longing and thoughts of the future and a haunting message. I enjoyed reading you here very much.
Gale
Autistic child had wandered away from his sister and mother
May 02, 2010|By Andrea K. Walker, The Baltimore Sun
An autistic child from Dundalk who had wandered away from his mother and sister while playing near a creek was found early Sunday morning after a 12-hour overnight search, a spokesman with the Maryland Department of Natural Resources said.
Nine-year-old Noah Joel Notter was found by police at about 6 a.m. in thick brush in Pennsylvania, about three-quarters of a mile from where he was reported missing, said the spokesman, Art Windemuth.
The boy's disappearance triggered a search effort by 25 people who spanned over 500 acres through the night looking for the boy.
http://leftbrainrightbrain.co.uk/
Why would we want to go there?