Gov. Palin: Is Not Taking Maternity Leave a Conservative Value?
I'm intrigued by Senator McCain's choice of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his runningmate. I, like most Americans outside of Alaska, had never heard of Governor Palin before the media hoopla began. I understand that McCain expects Gov. Palin's conservative background to boost his appeal to the base of the Republican party. She is a member of the NRA and she is pro-life.
When I read that her infant son, born just last spring, has Down syndrome, that caught my attention. I have three children with autism. We mothers of special needs kids share a tight bond. So I did a bit of Googling. Then I read an article from the Anchorage Daily News that said she did not plan to take maternity leave after his birth. What? With that, our bond loosened.
Now I'm thinking about what it takes to be Vice President of the United States. The days of clocking into the White House at 9am and toddling back home to the Admiral's House at the Naval Observatory at 5pm and attending funerals are long gone. Cheney has set the standard for a fully involved VP - regardless of what you think of him. So how does a mother of five children, especially one with special needs, accept the nomination for a job that will put her within a heartbeat of the Presidency and take yet take her away from the five heartbeats of her family for at least four years and still be considered conservative? If she were a Democratic nominee, wouldn't the religious right be attacking her already?
I believe in a woman's right to any career she desires. Yet as a mother of kids whose needs have taken precedence over my career for over a decade, I know the realities of special needs parenting. And I find myself asking a question that makes me feel like Donna Reed: Once you've chosen to have five children, and your infant has special needs, who needs you more, your family or your job? And if I can ask this touchy, old fashioned question, I wonder if conservatives will warm to a woman willing to make such a profound family sacrifice.
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Who are you to decide when a working woman is to return to work after having a child? I guess the liberals don't allow a woman that choice, eh?
The author of this article isn't deciding-- technically, she can't decide. But what she is asking is fair: does a woman who is running for VP appreciate the right of other mothers (or fathers) to take leave after a child is born when she herself didn't take one? What is implied by her choice? I want to know. This article raises that as a valid question especially when this person represents a party that has tried to monoplize family values.
Jennifer
She returned three days after her son was born prematurely. THREE days.
I'm all for working women as I used to be one of them. But three days after the birth of your fifth child at the age of 44?? Sorry, but that looks more like career came before family (or her physical self).
Amen, HBeachbum. As Shirley Chisholm said, "Of my two "handicaps" being female put more obstacles in my path..."
Good Lord, is it any wonder Hilary wasn't the victor as the DN?
Yes, we liberals allow that choice. Some of us are just surprised that the party of "Family Values" supports a woman who has put her career before her family. Not a surprise that McCain put his "career" before his country.
No Maternity leave?
As a recent father I learned the sad truths about men being denied a lot of the same rights women have in terms of the law promoting leave to bond with a new child without fear of repercussions. Why would you pass up the chance to bond with your new child?
And, how out of touch is she if she can just pop out a baby, hand it off to a child care provider a few days later, and then go back to work? Women should have whichever career path they want open to them, but don't treat parenting like something that's a small chore and then it's back to your 'real' job. That's an insult to mothers who devote their lives to their children.
Do we know she handed the baby off to a "child care provider?" I will be voting for Obama in November, but I don't approve of this particular attack on Palin.
Is the father taking care of the child? Is the father LESS of loving provider than the mother? My husband and I dealt with those kinds of attitudes and resented them greatly.
Is the dad a STAY AT HOME DAD? Of he is then what is the problem? Are you devaluing the roll of a father? What kind of sexism is that?
NO, the father is not a stay-at-home dad. He is a commercial fisherman - working for days (weeks?) away from home, as well as a worker on the oil fields - another job that takes him away for long periods.
I personally have no problem with a working mother, even a working mother of a special-needs child. There is no reason why the father/partner can't step in and take on primary childcare responsibilities. But in this case, it doesn't seem like that has happened!
As a mother of 3, this was the 1st thing I thought of too. I am absolutely for mothers working if they want and need to - I did. But it is one thing for a mother OR father to work an 8 hour day and then come home to spend time bonding and being with their child. Putting aside the rigors of being a VP - how about just the next 2 months of campaigning? Of flying all over the country working 14 to 16 hour days?
A quick check of the internet shows study after study detailing how the mother/child bond during the 1st year of life is utterly important for that child. I feel for those children, especially the little one.
See Kim Stagliano's Profile
Let me ask you astute readers a question. Do you think the male VP choices all bolted after Obama's performance last night? And thanks for your comments. Keep them coming! Kim
That was my first thought: That every else turned McCain down, and so he went with the most highly qualified person he could find who would agree to stand with him. That person turned out to be a hockey mom and former Mayor of a town tn Alaska tthat is he size of a large high school who couldn't even vote as Mayor and whose role was largely ceremonial.
Oh please. Everyone else turned him down. Some of you will grasp at anything and everything no matter how far a reach.
Many a man in a suit was passed up by McCain. He's not the one out of touch here! He understands that working moms want to have a voice too. Even working moms of special needs children, which I happen to be. Perhaps, especially moms of special needs children.
I don't think it is fair or just for any to question Ms. Palin in her choice. Maybe she believes she will be a better parent having served her country in this capacity. Maybe, she has considered the long term affects of her choice. Real change and making a difference!
Yes, I think McCain's first choice probably declined to serve. I say this because first it was reported that McCain had chosen his running mate. Later it was announced that McCain had not yet decided. It was odd and now with Palin as his VP pick, it makes sense.
No, Kim, I do not. I think McCain selected this individual to shake it up. He needed something a little off base to go against an African American. Young African American, Older White Guy. Older White Guy, Young Woman. McCain is trying to balance the playing field.
Additionally, I think this choice just secured Obama's election. My humble opinion.
LOL, Kim, what a question! I don't think that McCain had all that strong of VP choices to begin with. It is disturbing to me that he did not know Palin before she was given the tap. Or, excuse me, had spoken with her one time. I realize that he had a slew of people around him "working" on this choice...but when it comes right down to it, McCain did not make this choice. That says a lot about him, and her. As a mother of a SN child, I cannot imagine that I would take such a demanding job. My son's therapy has us running ALL THE TIME! And it is vital that parents are involved in therapy. That being said, it simply gives a somewhat cold impression of her that she did this. Maybe with Alaska being so different than the lower 48, she might have had the opportunity to take her DS child to the office with her. As for her older children, I think they can handle a mother that has a big job. She can call them on the phone anytime. But not this beautiful new child. He needs his mother.
These are grown men we are talking about, and they are professionals. It really looked like it was going to be Romney, but Huck just wouldn't shut up and play nice. Huck brings with him alot of squeeky wheels who would never vote for a mormon. I suspect Romney agreed that he would not help the ticket and he will probably get a nice job at the RNC.
She can aford a nanny and a stay-at-home father.
I read on ADN that her husband Todd Palin works for BP.
But he is not a stay at home father. He works FT.
I wonder if we would be asking this question if a man with five children (one with special needs) was the nominee? I think not.
I knew someone would try to make this false comparison. Consider this please: A man does not deliver his own baby, he does not have hormonal fluctuations after the birth of his own baby, and he does not lactate or nurse a baby. Palin just delivered a Down Syndrome baby in April, only 4 short months ago. Hiring a nanny doesn't cover everything. The stress of the campaign trail and later the job of VP is quite a lot to add to a self-described soccer-mom's plate.
And honestly, I think I would ask the same thing of a man that has a 4 month old baby with special needs. It is one thing to go back to work, but to take on a campaign in addition to a new baby in the home seems to be putting family second, and this is not even taking into consideration the job of VP. I guess I am a liberal though, so what do I know of family values?
I am a 44 year old female with a Masters Degree and a successful career that spans 20 years. I think certainly a woman can effectively be president of these great United States of America and I look forward to that day. However, I am also a mother of 3 young children, and I have to tell you that as a MOTHER it is hard for me to understand Ms. Palin's decision. She has a five month old baby--with special needs-- and what looked to me like a daughter who is about four plus, a couple of teenagers thrown in for good measure. Campaigning and possibly having to run a country in the event a 72 year old president should expire suddenly is nothing short of all consuming. So is raising, nuturing, loving, and having time for five children. I believe women can "have it all", just perhaps not simultaneously. And I know that the dad is there, and there are nanny's and housekeepers involved. But kids spell love, T-I-M-E. Some feminists will be horrified by my comments, but as a MOTHER, I struggle to understand her decision to put her personal aspirations ahead of the undeniable needs of children, her children. Palin is young, she could have passed on this one. I would have respected her for it. Paint me an emotional mommy, but seriously this was my first reaction upon learning more about who she was.
Well said. I'm home with my Down Syndrome 31 year old who is ill today. Having a job at home helps, but being on call 24/7 doesn't stop even when they leave the 'nest'. I do it, now as a single mom, with little outside support. She has 4 other children AND a husband that will need attention. Maybe she is secretly wearing a Wonder Woman suit.
She has to deal with the BIG BOYS now. They weren't easy on Hillary, I would expect the same for her - (Except from FoxNews, of course!)
And her son just joined the Army. How will she stand beside McCain when he starts singing "Bomb-Bomb-Bomb Iran" again?
Sound bites taken out of context - good defense.....
I think you can have it all but, as you so aptly say, "just perhaps not simaltaneously". I have three kids (22, 19, and 17) without "special needs" and can't imagine how this woman plans to have it all simaltaneously. Something gives and someone suffers and, in this case and because of the nature of the VP position, the kids WILL suffer.
Perfectly put, and I am a femenist:) But also a mom, and I agree with you.
Sarah Palin is a beautiful woman. She looks, however, like a woman with no sex appeal. Wrong, of course, and I do not know anything about that kind of appeal. I saw a short blowup on the tube of her with a few of her children, and those children look like, at least, teenagers. For them she is not needed at home. But, as all mothers of children with special needs know, even with all the means in the world, it is not always possible to farm the care of a child with such needs out, say to childcare. And if you are lucky enough to get such care, it may be temporarily. Apparently, Sarah Palin has extraordinary qualities. And it is another good thing that we have yet another move into a direction we, as a nation, need to go, breaking ceilings, removing barriers. Sarah Palin is younger than two of McCain's children, but she sort of looks like him, does she not? I will not vote for that ticket. A guntoting mom who leaves a special needs infant to others' care? The two of them do not appeal to me, either separately, or together, and it is still more of the same. Oil, oil, oil, and all the rest of the conservative agenda. We need to move on into the 21st century.
Interesting. Teenagers' moms not needing them at home.
Isn't pregnancy after 40 very dangerous?
It's high risk for Downs syndrome.
I'm so glad a woman with your experience is making this case - as a childless woman, I felt guilty having these thoughts - and was afraid to voice them, frankly. As a feminist, I believe women should be able to make whatever choices they desire in terms of career and family. I respect and admire the choice Mrs. Palin made in carrying her child to term. However, it would seem to preclude the choice she has made in accepting the vice presidency. Who is going to care for her infant son?
Interesting questions... On the other hand, having children (even five, even with special needs) & having a demanding job is nothing that fathers don't already do all the time. So are our expectations of "mother" still skewed in favor of traditional motherhood? Would we ask this question to fathers: "Once you've chosen to have five children, and your infant has special needs, who needs you more, your family or your job?" Should the onset of motherhood mean that some jobs should no longer be considered? (What about in the case of fatherhood?) I hope to see some other comments & thoughts here.
But usually in such a situation, in modern times, the mom OR dad stay home with the 5 kids. But her husband works full time too. So are they going to Nanny their kids's childhoods?
If you decide to have 5 kids, I would think at some point discussion of how they will manage their time to be the majority caretakers of their own kids and not pawn it to nannies or grandparents should have happened.
Really? All the parents I know with children with autism ( a specail need indeed) both have to work. In my middle-class world here in the Heartland, in nearly every family, both parents must work out of necessity.
Bravo Kim...my thoughts exactly. This is one issue where liberal, progressive, feminist me falls into line with Dr. Laura. Look, we all know that in 2008 a woman can, and usually does, have both family AND career, and does her best to keep all of the balls in the air. But once you have had 3,4,FIVE kids, and they are still infants and toddlers, with special needs...what in the hell are you doing running for the Vice Presidency?
I don't see this as admirable -- I see it as just plain WEIRD. Like -- what is she trying to prove? Of COURSE the children will be completely left behind -- and evidently, that is perfectly fine with her. Which, as you said, makes me scratch my head in thinking that the evangelicals will greet her with open arms. Odd choice all around...
Liz
I hate to say it, but that was exactly my first thought. I was glad to see I am not the only mom to think it. I do not care what a mom does -- if she stays home or works -- but she is taking on two big jobs as a mom of an infant with special needs and VP candidate. I do question how she can give to both the attention either needs. Her son is still so young that I wonder if she knows just how much he's going to need her as he gets older.
It also raises the question, where does she stand on health care? Her son will have a lot of medical needs. I hope she realizes that not all moms of special needs kids have government health care because her new boss doesn't.
Jennifer
I totally agree with Kim. This sends a wrong signal to women that we are just power hungry , and family comes second.
While this is not a choice I myself would make I am hopeful that a mom of a special needs child could help other special needs kids the care and support they need. A mom in the Whitehouse who has a special needs child and a soldier among her kids----things may actually change for the better.
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