THE BLOG
09/16/2013 06:44 pm ET Updated Nov 16, 2013

The Benefits of Technology When Dating After Divorce

You have an amazing first date. And after that magical evening filled with physical chemistry and emotional connection, you go home to your busy life of working, doing errands and taking care of the kids. You frantically try to find the time to see one another again. How about this coming Sunday? Oh no wait, you have the kids...how about Tuesday? Oh wait, he works late that day. You come to realize that the next possibility of a date might be two more weeks from the last. Sigh. You keep the flame going, however, by provocative and playful texts, sexy face time calls and cute IMs on Facebook. Thank goodness for technology!

Obviously, face-to-face quality time with a partner is the most important factor in building a relationship. But seeing one another can be challenging with chaotic schedules, custodial arrangements, long distances and juggling a million things. And although using technology in the dating process can be tricky, if used correctly it can act as a tool to keep things going in this busy day and age. There are some definite benefits to using technology that can actually make dating after divorce successful and enjoyable. Here are some that we help people with here at The Art of Charm.

Benefit #1: Keeps An Emotional Connection -- Generations in the past led a simpler life. If a man had a date with a woman he liked he would call her for another one, walk over to her home with flowers or meet up with her at the corner market. But we live in a society today where people are working far from home, date people in other states and lead busy lives. Today it's even more important to make a conscious effort to keep that emotional connection in between dates. Relying on various communication technologies to connect with a partner via text, IMs, emails and Skype can really heighten and sustain a relationship over time. A quick text of terms of endearment coming through on your phone during a stressful workday like, "I'm thinking of you, Beautiful" can go a long way knowing that that special someone has you on their mind.

Benefit #2: Way To Get Information Quickly -- Not everyone has time to chit chat during the day but there might be quick important facts you need to relay to your guy or gal. Whether it's an address, you are stuck in a meeting but need to let the woman know that you've got tickets that night to a play or running late to a date, a quick text can actually save time and avoid misunderstandings.

Benefit #3: Opening Avenues To Meeting Others -- It can be really difficult finding time to meet others, especially if you are a single parent of young kids and can't leave the home! Connecting with people online on dating sites, mobile apps, meet-up groups and social media have been instrumental to opening doors for people to meet others. This can also save time and money so dating becomes efficient and effective.

Benefit #4: Builds Sexual Tension and Excitement -- If there are two weeks that go by between dates and you haven't kept the connection alive with some intermittent contact, there tends to be a lack of excitement in seeing one another. In fact, there may be an awkwardness and stiffness that occurs when you finally meet. You can really build a sexual charge by being playful and sexy in your messages with hot texts, alluring pictures and fun Skype calls. This actually can make your communications exhilarating and keep one another interested in between physical encounters.

By no means is technology meant to replace the magic of human contact and direct communication. Rather, it is a way to supplement contact so that relationships can stay alive and thrilling. So go ahead and text a :) to someone you like and see if you get an instant :) back!

Kimberly Seltzer LCSW is a Therapist, Matchmaker, Personal Image Expert and Dating Coach at The Art of Charm.

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