I don't like Steve Harvey -- yes, I said it.
To be more precise, since I've never met the man personally, I don't like what Steve Harvey represents.
There is an arrogance -- a barely sheathed tone of alpha-male superiority that permeates everything he spews from politics to relationships -- that simply makes my skin crawl. In his controversial "book," Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, he presumes that women are so desperate to snare a man that they will blindly lap up advice from anyone with a pen and a publicist. In a deliberate attempt at adverse-feminism, he casts women as simple-minded huntresses who -- with a simple fifteen-dollar literary weapon from Barnes & Noble -- will be armed with the sophisticated techniques needed to catch our flawed masculine prey. To make matters worse, he has a consistent habit of illuminating the misogyny in the Bible for public consumption, as if the Great One himself parted the clouds and said, "Woman, thou shall be a lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets... (((sheets)))... (((sheets)))..."
Before I became agnostic, I clearly remember sitting in Bible study and hearing Proverbs 18:22, which reads: "He who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing;" not, "she who stalks a husband and lassos him to the altar with tricks (both psychological and sexual) findeth a good thing."
Can the church say 'Amen'?
To spread the proverbial icing on the cake, in a ballsy move, he decides to create "Think Like A Man," a film that is nothing more than an advertisement for the aforementioned book. He does so with the calculated intent that, once again, people will flock to the theatres to watch a rom-com which features Black men and women that just can't seem to get it together.
It would be funny if he weren't so serious.
I freely admit that Black entertainment is the most recycled resource in the United States of America. We use it up, throw it out and repurchase it again without a second thought -- then wonder why nothing new is being created. I also understand that money talks and my grudging, ambivalent support of this film will likely place me in the "Part of the Problem" box -- and that's a criticism I'm more than willing to accept. There was a time when my distaste for Steve Harvey and his Bishop Magic Don Juan suits would have led me to not only boycott this film, but write a scathing open letter of judgment to anyone who dared to support it.
That was before I learned to think like a chess player.
There will be people who see themselves, their friends and loved ones in "Think Like A Man" and be glad for it; just as the domestic workers in "The Help" were a reflection of the many women throughout the Deep South who toiled on tired knees and weary hearts to serve families with love and dignity. Renowned actress, Hattie McDaniel, who won the 1939 Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, made a profound statement in response to criticism she received for perpetuating negative stereotypes with her role as "Mammy" in "Gone With The Wind":
"I'd rather get paid seven hundred dollars a week to play a maid than get paid seven dollars to be one."
Do I agree with our generic depictions as under-paid whores and overworked help? Absolutely not. I have simply evolved to the point where I recognize that someone, somewhere can relate -- and just because it's not my story on screen, doesn't mean that it's not someone else's. There are people who righteously believe that supporting mediocre cinematic fluff will further perpetuate the creation of the same. I agree, with a caveat: Supporting these films -- without supporting other, more important ones -- is the real culprit. The key is not to negate the voices already represented (as numbers reflect, this type of film has a legitimate fan base), but building off of that momentum in Hollywood and helping fund that independent film, sponsoring that theater student, donating to those individuals who may not have a solid corporate push. The goal should be to diversify our options, not suppress the ones which don't reflect our own lives.
Imbalanced "equality" is difficult, isn't it?
It's difficult to see our dirty laundry aired out in public, whether as art or in reality. It hurts that every, single time one of our movies makes it to the big screen, it's so trivial and non-descript, that anyone with a half a brain could watch it half asleep with a half-smoked joint withering away in an ashtray at their bed-side.
Here's the thing, though:
We are not a monolith. We. are. not. a. monolith.
We have clearly polarizing perspectives on life, love and entertainment and all of them are worthy of the silver screen because all of them represent facets of Black life. There will never be a consensus of the Citizens Black Caucus on what definitively represents Black life, because there is no one way to be Black.
Our issue is not necessarily with Steve Harvey; it is because there is no counter-point to Steve Harvey. It's because there is no balance. It's because for every gang-banger we know, we also know an accountant; for every Christian we know, we also know an Atheist; for every straight man we know, we also know a lesbian, and for every Black woman we know who thinks that having a man is the pinnacle of life, we know another Black woman who truly doesn't give a damn.
More importantly, we know that the condescension of Black men, such as Harvey and his cohort, Tyrese, would be better directed toward their own brethren, rather than women who have spent generations thinking like a man, because they've had to take the place of absentee fathers who don't know the meaning of the word.
Still, we cannot allow ourselves to believe that one movie -- that amounts to nothing more than the equivalent of She's Not That Into You -- is a sweeping indictment of Black or feminist culture. White America has such idiotic fare as 40-Year Old Virgin, The Hangover, Road Trip and Knocked Up, and they flock to the theatres because they don't have the weight of oppression and degrading public-opinion on their backs. They can live comfortably in the shadows of their ethnicity without their every move being prefaced by their "race." They don't have to become defensive, paralyzed in fear that every negative or trite image of their culture will become its definitive characterization; and we have to grow comfortable enough in our own skin to realize that we don't either.
Think Like a Man may be a typical, overdone reflection of Black love and relationships, and you know what? That's ok. Because for every one of these films, we are strengthening our collective economic worth and paving the way for future generations of filmmakers to say, "Black America has more than one voice and all of them are worth hearing."
And who knows... it just might be funny.
Follow Kirsten West Savali on Twitter: www.twitter.com/KWestSavali
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I love the fact that you mentioned black movies are mostly centered around our race. Why? WHY??? I would love to watch a lighthearted movie that doesn't include "the struggle", or references the fact that the characters are black. Hello?! Look at the complexion! That should be the only indication, and you move on. Because the wonderful story line keeps your attention away from the fact that the character is black (and beautiful of course). Instead, the character is...the character. The goofy, curly haired, artist who can't decide what city she wants to live in after art school. Or something of that nature. Anyway, I went on a rant there. The point is, I'm so glad you wrote this Kristen. Very poignant, yet, accurate.
jeri
This is an incredibly powerful statement, yet it is overly simplistic (perhaps intentionally so, given the thrust of the article). Indeed, many black women who are single parents have played the role of mother and father throughout history, but this statement may unfairly place all of the blame for that all too common scenario solely on black men. There are myriad societal issues that motivate these dynamics.
Undoubtedly Steve Harvey wants to make money (and rightfully so), but I believe his underlying message is clear - we can improve our relationships if we take the time to understand one another.
Perhaps you will write the response - Act Like a Man, Think Like a Lady - instead of simply praising your own criticisms.
What Mr. Harvey states is common sense, he tells you what is keeping men from marrying you but you don't like the messenger so you refuse to receive the message and you come back at him in the same form which black men reject, never really hearing what was said, just ready to respond. Your issue is with the entertainment industry, and many blacks have an issue with it but attacking Mr. Harvey was not the way to express that view, the lesson you wanted to give was lessen by the approach you took.
I've listened to the radio show since day one...I know why he wrote the book.....(the NY Times Best Seller's list- twice).....an overwhelming amount of women would call into the show with unbelievable stories and questions about relationships ....it was crazy...things that they should already know...and he would school them....that's how the book got started..... and yeah he has a huge ego...so?...I know people who have huge egos, it doesn't make them a bad person......
Plus... notice the heading she used to get you to read her article,******I don't like Steve Harvey -- yes, I said it.***********.....then when you click on it, she says.....******To be more precise, since I've never met the man personally, I don't like what Steve Harvey represents.*****
B***h what?!......You never even met the man.
And then she uses the Word of God to try to make a point.....how phony is that...You're an agnostic lady!!!!
let's not forget steve's inability to master the english language - with his consistent lack of subject/verb agreement, and constant use of double negatives. he sounds like a slave, and he doesn't represent me, or my experience, in any way. i hate that he was the poster child for black relationships for a while when the book first came out - he was a correspondent on gma, i think, and made his rounds at a number of media outlets, during which he was touted as an "expert."
he is beyond arrogant, and his morning show is nothing more than a platform for his minions to CONSTANTLY praise and exhalt him. the culture of his morning show is sickening, because there is not one objective opinion.
additionally, i refuse to take relationship advice from anyone who would publicly mistreat and speak so ill of the mother of his children. what happened behind the scenes is irrelevant - he has been incredibly disrespectful and nasty to a woman he was married to for years...after trading her in for a new and younger model. classy, huh?
his opinions on relationships means NOTHING to me.