11/16/2011 02:21 pm ET | Updated Jan 16, 2012

My Dear John Letter to Netflix

Dear Netflix,

I have found someone else whom I think the world of. I think the only way out is for us to get a divorce. This just isn't working out anymore.

When we first met I would come home and be excited to see you waiting for me. We would watch good movies together and spend hours thinking about what we were going to watch in the coming months. You would recommend films I never heard of before or movies I forgot that I loved and wanted to see again. I was excited just thinking about the endless possibilities.

You created this whole new "Instant" department and it was so incredible. I was blown away. I am so very proud of you for creating that service. It was revolutionary. I miss that creative spark in you. As time went on you changed. The first time I felt something was wrong with us is when you told my friends you were going to do the same thing you've always been doing but for twice the price. I still don't understand that. Naturally, my friends told me to get rid of you. Because my friends care about me and you are suddenly becoming difficult. I told them to mind their own business. They don't know what we have in our queue. So I continued getting DVDs and streaming online and things were going okay. And then, you burned your bridge with some mutual friends. We had plans with them! I was hoping we'd watch The Social Network with them, but it was too late.

Throughout all of this I still wanted to work this out. I've been with you for such a long time. But then you started getting into TV shows. Not good ones like Friday Night Lights or Cheers, but other TV shows. Weird ones. You started suggesting shows like Vampire Diaries and Nikita to me. I was fine with the marathon nights of watching Family Guy and Walking Dead, but Gossip Girl and 90210 is where I draw the line. Do you even care about movies anymore? You've changed.

Yeah, I know Precious is still up there in the Queue, but I'm never going to be in a mood to watch Precious! Carlito's Way, Boondock Saints, Die Hard 2? What is this? HBO2 at 3am? How about the time you told me you wanted to change your name? What the fuck was that? I was worried about you. It made me think, I don't really know you anymore.

It was around this time I started to wonder if I could live without you. At first it scared me, just like it scared me to break up with my long time ex, Cable. At a party one night my friends introduced me to someone new. Her name is Hulu Plus and at first she reminded me a lot of you. We would watch similar shows as you, but it was new. Instead of waiting months for you to get new episodes of a show I only had to wait a night. Plus, she loves watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report with me! She's attentive and listens to me. She knows her strengths and doesn't try to pass herself off as something she isn't. Sure, she has some movies but they are really gooood movies. There is a difference. I'll miss watching movies with you but movies just aren't your focus anymore anyway.

I wish things could have been different. I miss how you used to be, but you've made it clear there is no going back to the way it used to be. So this is the end for "us".



P.S: My friend took one of your DVD's and replaced it with another. You never even noticed.