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Krishna Brown

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"She Is Too Strong." Body [Mis]Perceptions And Wonder Woman Desires

Posted: 03/07/2012 1:11 pm

I posted a picture of Monique Minton and Erin Stern on my Tumblr and Facebook page. One response from a male friend was "looks too man-ly. too many muscles."

When I told a friend I was running to an afternoon powerlifting training session, she scrunched up her face and said "Powerlifting? You mean like deadlifts and stuff? Why dont you just do Zumba?!"

On another occasion I shared with my buddy a picture of Zuzana Light (formerly of Bodyrock.tv) expressing my admiration. His response was "She is too strong." I asked him to explain. He said, "I could not wear short sleeve shirts around her."

Since becoming seriously interested in getting stronger and lowering my body fat, I've encountered like-minded people and ideas, but also have come across some doubts. Lately, my Facebook page is pasted with all types of workouts and photos of fit people, many of them powerlifters. I have a favorite series of photos I title "UNF." As in "Unf, he is fine" or she is fine. I just love muscles. I always have. It started in a young age watching cartoons. He-Man, Lion-o, She-ra, GI Joe, Wolverine, even Lex Luthor and Skeletor were swole! But ultimately it was Wonder Woman who I hoped I'd become. Little did I know I too would grow up to be 6 ft tall, broad shouldered and buxom. My mother knew. She would often tell me "Krissy, you would be a great bodybuilder. You have the build for it." At 15, I had no clue. I was a clutz with my body and felt awkward in it. To adjust, to overcompensate I ate and grew to be 240lbs. It's been years since I've been that out of shape. But here I am at 37 years old hearing my mother's words again and thinking about those Saturday morning heroes.

Bored with the elliptical and trying to heal from a painful knee injury, I knew I could not become complacent. I set a new goal. Not to lose weight but to lose body fat. Not to just do mindless cardio but to get stronger. My goal is to lift, pull, push my bodyweight. Whether that be deadlifts, chinups, climbing a rope, pullups, front squats, whatever it is by the end of year I am going to be able to handle my own weight!

So I began reading and sharing my finds to encourage others and myself. But I also heard from the nay-sayers. Friends, who at heart meant well, would call me up and say "dont get too big" or "stay feminine" or "dont start looking like a man." Most of these messages came from men. And most of those men are out of shape themselves. Not sure if there is some correlation there. But the idea that lifting heavy is going to cause me to look like She-Hulk is a silly biologically incorrect myth.

It is hard enough for men to build muscle. A woman with a fraction of testosterone has trouble just building lean muscle mass let alone cock diesel muscles.

I chalked up these concerns and questions as a comfort level issue. Some people are comfortable with how another person should look (especially a woman) as a reflection on their own body image. That is fine. That comfort level is not my own. There is a difference. And it is important as we grow-up to understand the distinction: what other people want versus your own peace of mind. It takes a lot of mental and spiritual strength to be able to discern one from the other. Despite other folks' popular opinion, I knew what I wanted for myself. What would make me happy. It is fine if I become leaner and stronger and not fit their body image. I wont be attractive to them but then again I am not attracted to them either. We cant be everything to everyone. I can only try to be own superhero. Ok, I cannot be the "real" Wonder Woman, but I can become as wonderful a woman to and for myself as I'm physically able. And if I happen to attract a "SuperMan" that would be great, too. I do love muscles on men!

I see a man with a great shoulders and arms and strong legs my brain shuts down. I'm 5-years-old again, captivated by an image of strength and power. As my sister recently reminded me "You always liked Arnold Schwarzenegger. Remember how much you liked watching Conan The Barbarian? You was little but you liked that man." I sure did. It may not be the conventional or popular ideal of what a man looks like, but I will take a powerlifter, wrestler or football player any day. I was recently introduced via YouTube to the powerlifter Konstantin Konstantinovs. I watched him lift 955 kg. Good grief, that is two tons! At 6'4″ he and 300 lbs of muscle, I am certain he is the Red Hulk personified.

Blame it on Captain Caveman, He-Man, Ah-nuld, Big Barda or Wonder Woman, but I will always pause to admire beautifully defined lats, bulging biceps, sculpted delts, c-shaped glutes, a ripped 6-pack and tear drop quads. And I will want the same for myself. It shows discipline, focus, flexibility and fortitude. Those are attractive qualities to have in life. Can never be too strong for that.

This blog was originally featured at Alumni Wellness.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
BiggpussJr
pissin em off one comment at a time.
11:07 AM on 03/13/2012
A woman should not look like a man. You can be strong WITHOUT being bulky ans masculine.
noahmarder
Exposing the regressive lies, one by one
05:04 AM on 03/15/2012
A woman is free to look like whatever she wants. I'll take a Serena Williams body over a skinny twig any day.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
BiggpussJr
pissin em off one comment at a time.
08:09 AM on 03/15/2012
And I would take Serena Williams body over ANY chic that looks like those in the pics. They look like men.
04:43 PM on 03/10/2012
I love working out,It help me remain balanced.
03:04 PM on 03/09/2012
Awesome article! Your powerlifting is actually going to get you leaner faster than those who are just taking Zumba classes. Thanks a lot for sharing your story, and for giving a new side to the definition of "meat on her bones"!
02:01 PM on 03/08/2012
We talk all about positive body image on our site. This article hit home for us. We are speeding our message through our movement My Body Is Ok! on Facebook. Facebook.com/mybodyisok check us out and keep up the positive body image!
05:09 PM on 03/07/2012
Good on you. I must say though when someone looks like they take steroids I think they have gone too far. Naturally strong and muscular is a great thing to aspire to though. Especially in this age of extreme obesity.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Monique Ruffin
04:55 PM on 03/07/2012
It has been one year since I started my own journey to become leaner and stronger. I changed my diet and created a workout I love that includes yoga, bike riding and running. Many of my friends comment that I'm too thin for "a black women". We need to have meat on our bones they add. I think that's silly. They also complain because I stopped eating sugar and drinking alcohol. It feels great not to wake up with a hang over any more. I'm also stronger and leaner than I've ever been. I say, Do You and feel good doing it. Soon enough people will be pulling you aside asking for your secrets.
04:42 PM on 03/10/2012
Do your thing Monique.There is no such thing as being too thin for a certain race.We black women should hit that gym and avoid statistics and better our healthy.
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gtobynj
If it's really funny, it's bound to offend someone
04:09 PM on 03/07/2012
Being comfortable in your own skin is key. No, the ripped look is not for me, but as you point out, it is unlikely you would find me attractive anyway and each to their own.