The Ask

06/12/2014 12:58 pm ET | Updated Aug 12, 2014

Sorry guys, this shout-out is specifically for the sisters (but feel free to read on in support). I'm putting out an APB! To be clear when I refer to "sisters," I'm talking about the sisterhood of girlfriends, not bloodlines. Remember friends are the family we choose -- our very own handpicked tribe.

I'd like to call attention to the nurturing of our creative and professional selves, an aspect not always so well attended to. We always hear about the proverbial "boy's club" in business, politics, and the professional arena -- can we do a sound check on our "sisterhood" -- can we say the same? Are we supporting one another in the best way possible? Are we maximizing our potential and outreach -- networking, uplifting and celebrating each other's accomplishments and vision? Or are we suffering in silence? Hmmm.

Let's ask ourselves these three questions:

CLARITY: What do you need? Let's face it, if you're not clear about what you need neither can your sisters and/or the Universe be clear. Identify a specific request of your own.

GENEROSITY: When was the last time you did a specific outreach on behalf of one of your sister's business pursuits or dreams? Let's think -- brainstorming ideas, sending a network email, hosting a party, making introductory calls, sharing a Facebook post, uplifting another's pursuits.

BRAVERY: When was the last time you asked for help or put out a specific ASK for yourself? Give yourself permission to be vulnerable in your creative/professional world and then go out there and stake your claim. Make a declaration. If you can't trust your sisterhood with it, who can you trust? You're in good hands.

Do yourself and your girlfriends a solid today and watch the magic unfold. As a favorite 80s Faberge Organics Shampoo commercial famously states, "and they told two friends, and so on and so on." We can share more than beauty product recommendations, recipes, and child rearing tips, ladies. How many times do we get so caught up in the caring for others that we sidestep our own needs, as we watch our personal agenda slip to the bottom of the totem pole? Remember, if Momma's not happy, no one's happy. But jokes aside, self-care starts with self. So have at it.

The only way you can manifest something is to declare it. The other day a friend of mine, who is a life coach told me, "I need five more clients." Great. If you wait around for people to figure out what you need, you might be waiting awhile.

If we can get clear about our needs (I'm talking laser-sharp specific -- down to the nitty gritty details), we can begin marching down the right path to our true calling. Even if you feel that you are being specific, make sure you are not operating from a "let's wait and see how it all unfolds" modality.

First step -- get specific and fill in the blanks (be bold, it's your notebook -- go where you've never dared to stretch before):

My dream is to _______________.

I need to make X amount of dollars each month in order to______________.

And then roll out a plan -- perhaps a three month version, a six month and a longer term one (one year, five year, 10 year).

This is where I want to be in 3 months______________________.
This is where I want to be in 6 months______________________.
This is where I want to be in 1 year__________________________.

Life often takes an unpredictable trajectory, but it's helpful to start somewhere. By creating a plan, the process will help you flesh out specifics. It may even alter the course. Once your plan is in place, figure out how you are going to put momentum and money where your mouth is. Step out of your comfort zone, stop telling yourself things like, "I really don't like to ask people for help." "I'm uncomfortable doing XY&Z." Try saying instead, "Get comfortable."

Start flexing your ASK muscle.

Begin by reaching out and leaning on your own network. Remember, we are woman-hear-me-roar! We can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan... we are capable of infinite possibility (especially united).

And here's the trifecta. If you have a friend looking for a job, put your thinking cap on and come up with three brainstorming ideas for her -- send out three networking emails on her behalf.

I've got a stalwart sisterhood of fierce mama bears around me who uplift and inspire me in more ways than I can recount. It's less about what they aren't doing and more about what I am not asking. In our busy non-stop lives, we forget the power of pure connection... and the power of the ASK.

OK, so I'll go first...

Declaration - I want to expand my business platform (and build my social media following) as a means to open writing doors, attract more speaking engagements and beyond.

My ASK : Will you help me? Can you send my website address to three women who would benefit from my offering? Ask them to OPT IN to my newsletter to receive weekly inspiration and to enhance my audience. I want my tribe to multiply exponentially.

My Giveback: I, Kristen, do solemnly swear to keep my eyes open for spiritual insights and to continue creating content that hits home and keeps us inspired and reaching. I'm committed to being a networking matchmaker for my sisters whenever possible.


-Identify your ASK.

-ASK your sisterhood to network for you (you can do it!).

-Find three other sisters to network for.

I know that the get is in the give, but that includes giving to self. ASK and you shall receive.

Cheers to the sisterhood!