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Lara M. Gardner

Lara M. Gardner

Posted: October 14, 2008 08:40 AM

Stop Demonizing The Other Side's Supporters


A couple of days ago I received several emails forwarding the video of Sarah Palin being booed at the hockey game. I watched as she stepped onto the ice with her children, boos resounding from the highest bleachers, fans waving thumbs down signs in her direction. While I shared their sentiment, I also felt sad and sort of sorry for her, standing there with her daughters at her side, the one child so small, tossed into a giant mess of which she can have no understanding.

A few days before I received as many emails forwarding the video of the angry mobs outside the McCain rally. I felt a similar discomfort at the sight, a vague sense of unease and knowing that even though I disagreed with their views, it felt wrong to display these people in all their rage and ignorance.

Today a friend sent me an email containing the photo of a man carrying a sign with the words, "Ohio Christians Against Baby-Murdering Muslims for President." The man holding the sign looks stoic, defensive, angry.

What kind of fear leads a man to become this person? What has happened in his life that this is what he believes? This photo is being sent around to horrified liberals, an excellent representative of the trainwreck display this election has become, but I see no one asking these simple questions, trying to understand the minds of the humans on the other side.

Every day I open my email to dozens of new notices from well-meaning friends pointing out the obvious level of new lows in this campaign. We have gotten to the point where we take hideous and superior delight in the stumbles on the other side, react in anger at the latest new lies, and laugh and point fingers at angry right-wingers screaming and acting like lunatics. We do this, seeming to miss the hypocrisy in our own schadenfreude.

The level of simply bad behavior is evident on both sides. I certainly do not advocate bending over and taking it in the backside, but what about our own fundamental human decency? Are any of us on either side able to see where the other is coming from? Are any of us able to have some compassion?

I am especially disturbed by the videos of McCain supporters screaming hateful obscenities and photos of men like the one described above, not only because of the behavior of the people in them, but because decent people I know are forwarding them on to laugh at and criticize. This election has turned into so much us versus them. Each side is demonizing the other. None of this will get us anywhere that solves any of our very large, very real problems.

We receive and pass on videos of the candidates. See our candidate? See how good he is? Then we get a video from the other side. See their candidate? See how horrible he is? And while I absolutely might agree with what is being shown, I keep coming back to the belief that all this bickering and finger-pointing is doing absolutely nothing to elevate the common good. In fact I am afraid that all of this fighting is going to lead to an all-out war among ourselves regardless which candidate is elected. Unless and until we actually do start seeing ourselves as part of one country in this together, until we start to recognize all our humanity, we are going to dissolve in destruction and violence. This is a very real and frightening possibility.

I know it sounds simplistic, but it is possible to focus on the issues and get this country back on track if we all start acting with a bit more civility and stop making of fun of people who must be experiencing real inner turmoil and fear to act the way they do. We just have to take the initiative, stop passing around hate mail, and focus on what really matters.

This morning I watched a video of Obama giving a speech at a rally in Ohio. When he mentioned John McCain, members of the audience started to boo. "We don't need that," Obama said calmly. "We just need to vote, that's what we need to do."

Barack Obama is right. We don't need that. Regardless who wins this election, we all have the very real job of putting this country back together again. We simply cannot do it if we're all fighting each other.

 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
zanzig
07:48 AM on 10/15/2008
I don't think I agree with where you have taken your argument, although I agree wholeheartedly that the return of civility to common intercourse would be a good thing. However, in the face of blatant incivility as expressed at Republican rallies, and indeed, the rage some of those attending display towards anyone not agreeing with THEM, shining the light of day on some of these hate-mongers IS the only thing to do. If that light is to be shone via the medium most accessible to us (the Internet) why not.? It would only be cruel or ugly if we were to consider these people feeble-minded (you know, we shouldn't poke fun at the weak, etc); I don't. I consider them ignorant and racist but some are also scared. The fact that Sen Obama does not permit that open incivility at his rallies is good, but the films (on you tube and elsewhere) of some of the ignorant statements made by attendees at a Palin-McCain rally are also useful so others can see (1) exactly what the problems are likely to be after Sen Obama wins the election and (2) the sheer scale of the social and educational regression in America today.
05:56 AM on 10/15/2008
Lara, it's a tragedy that we're unable to come together as one great and proud nation to choose the best of the best to lead us. It's as though we're mired in a vicious civil war every four years and I can only imagine it's going to get worse. Have a little sympathy for your friends who are quick to be gleeful about the downfall of the opposition though. The Republican Party have done some rather despicable and underhanded things over the years, and I imagine that leaves the common man feeling impotent and oppressed. Perhaps it's only natural that when we seize upon an opportunity to cast off our oppressors, we delight in their failures.
09:54 PM on 10/14/2008
The Dalai Lama says you should not accept foolishness, but if you want to really mess with your enemies, smile.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Treehuggindirtworshiper
“Dum Spiro, spero- As long as I breathe, I hope.
09:53 PM on 10/14/2008
Lara i totally agree with you. Get ready. It's going to get worse before it gets better. It doesn't matter who wins. No one wants to say it but we are IN a depresion and it's going to get ugly.
12:31 PM on 10/14/2008
Well Laura, I certainly can't say that I disagree with you. It's like the one kid on my school bus that just can't get along well with others... What happened to this kid (those people) to make them so angry and fearful that they just can't play well with others.

My fear is that some nut job will take these people seriously and cause another American tragedy. Lord help us, I hope not.
11:28 AM on 10/14/2008
Thanks for putting this out there.

I think there are other issues involved--I mean, when McCain or Palin agrees, or says nothing, in response to an audience member shouting out "Terrorist!" "Traitor!" or "Kill him!"--that's important to notice, because there they really are giving a sort of assent to this hatred. And once they've done that it makes the hysteria relevant.

But even so, it's good to hear a voice calling for civility. And especially on HuffPo, which seems to focus on demonizing McCain, whether deservedly or not.
10:28 AM on 10/14/2008
Imagine you took the time to collect all senate bills dealing with veterans' issues since 1987. That's the year McCain was elected to the Senate. You tabulated all the bills, and looked at McCain's voting record on veterans' issues. You would find that this person voted against almost every single veterans' issues bill that crossed his desk since 1987. Twenty-six years of a dedicated, singular purpose to harm and cause suffering of as many veterans as possible.

Brandon Friedman provides an exhaustive compilation with links to the bills for us. Type in the keywords, mccain non-support, into your favorite search engine, and follow the links to go through his report, and read the bills, yourself.

The outrage is the kind of outrage that doesn't go away. With the above facts in mind, we can now discuss demonizing, if you want.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Lara M. Gardner
02:34 PM on 10/14/2008
I stand by my fundamental message, which is that I can want change in this country, that I can be angry about the way things have gone, all of it, but that I do not need to make fun of people who disagree with me. I do not need to act as ugly as they do in order to effect change.