Americans Will Die If You Don't Buy This Book

If you don't go out and buy The Ultimate Counterterrorist Home Companion, Americans will die. The satirical techniques we've used in the book, which we're not at liberty to divulge, have already saved American lives, and this is documented. Also, these techniques, while harsh, are well within acceptable boundaries of satire according to a secret legal opinion, which we can't share publicly.

My co-author, Zack Arnstein, in his critique, "War on Terror Satire Goes Too Far" has charged that while funny at times, the satire in our book goes too far and is "morally bankrupt and perverse." His criticism is irresponsible. It is true that some of the humor we employed was aggressive. But when the lives of Americans are at stake, you use whatever is legally available. If you capture a reader who may be part of a network, wouldn't you use the most coercive kind of satire at your disposal? And you can trust me when I tell you that dangerous reading clubs have been broken up by these techniques.

We don't ridicule in America. We do use strong irony, and subject readers to uncomfortable moments. I cannot be more specific than that without giving away our game plan to the other team. If the terrorists get hold of our satirical playbook, they can train against it.

The more copies of The Ultimate Counterterrorist Home Companion purchased by Americans, the safer we will be. So go out and buy our book, and you will be doing your part to save American lives.

Comments

[mommadona]

"I want to return a dead parrot."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2H6DSoqZz_s

[Janco54]

Nope - me neither - not dead yet.

[BillZBubb]

Having never read the book, I can say with all candor, that if you don't buy it, you hate America!

[Malarcus]

I bought this book and can honestly say I have not died since.