New PR Plan For Archdiocese of Los Angeles?

Now that the RAND corporation has given a new branding idea to the U.S. military to make us more popular in the world ("We Will Help You"), it's time for the think tank to turn its attention to the local image problem suffered by the Catholic Church in Los Angeles. The record $660 million settlement in the sex abuse cases announced just before trial spared Cardinal Mahoney the unpleasant experience of testifying, but still, a new branding idea is needed here to clear the air.

How about, "We Won't Sodomize You Anymore." Or maybe, "Sex Scandal? What Sex Scandal?" Or, "Never Mind About That, How Long Has It Been Since Your Last Confession?" Perhaps a trim, post-event message like, "All Swept Under the Rug."

Of course I can't really compete with the intellectual resources at RAND, or the PR firms currently employed by the diocese. Maybe Huffington Post readers can help. If you need inspiration, just imagine how our military's tarnished image in the world will improve once we get "We Will Help You" stamped onto our tanks as they rumble though the bombed out ruins of the next country we invade.