Waterboarding Is For Wimps, Bring Back the Rack!

The debate about warterboarding is dumb. Any idiot knows it's torture. But since we've embraced torture, let's do it right. The rack is a vastly superior instrument. It's so dramatic it would make an excellent backdrop for a presidential address on the War on Terror, or perhaps Our Precious Freedoms. The rack is where we get, "Show him the instruments of torture." With waterboarding that would be a board and a cloth: boring!

Plus, there's no screaming in waterboarding since the victim has a cloth over his face and is drowning. There's plenty of screaming with the rack, plus you don't have to have a doctor leaning over your shoulder telling you when to stop or the victim will die. And any fool can turn the rack. It requires no training whatsoever. Halliburton could build thousands of them and Blackwater could operate 'em. And it's so visual. Talk about a re-branding opportunity for the United States!

In fact, as long as we're talking re-branding, let's come up with something a little catchier than "The United States of America" a name still associated for those who've been on the moon for the last few years with not torturing. Let's try something tougher, and snappier, like "The Fatherland." Since the Democratic-controlled legislative branch has surrendered all its other powers and responsibilities, maybe they can look into the naming opportunity thing. And we can use the rack as our new logo.

Comments

[seawolf77]

The blooger is on to something since the rack would be allowed as long as there is no appreciable change in height of the participant.

[TomR]

----
...let's come up with something a little catchier than "The United States of America" a name still associated for those who've been on the moon for the last few years with not torturing. Let's try something tougher, and snappier...
----

The Unruly Sociopaths of Agony
The Unindicted Smiters of Acrimony
The Unscrupulous Scorners of Altruism
Jackboots 'R US

- Tom

[SamSeven]

Bring back the thumb screws, the rack, and all of those medieval instruments of torture why stop at waterboarding. Once you start down this torturous slop there's no turning back. Have Fun!

[Stirner]

If Mukasey (along with Schumer and Feinstein) have a problem with deciding IF water-boarding can be defined as "torture" -- why don't they volunteer to give it a try and get on board? In fact, why not have all the the Presidential Candidates give it a try? How about a show of hands at the next debate?

[milo9]

The rack, hell, bring it all back. Slavery too! Half-measures are for pussies!

[maddogbitesback]

And all those years you thought that would never happen here. Famous last words.

[Wilburrr]

SURF BOARDS NOT WATER!!

[SteveWeisert]

Even more dramatic than the rack would be the pit and the pendulum. The swinging blade slowly approaching the victim's stomach has a very terrifying effect - much better than waterboarding !

[lisakaz]

Nah, not the Fatherland. It's gotta have a corporate sponsor, like Blackwater's Fatherland or something.

Why stop with the rack? How 'bout bringing back breaking on the wheel and the Iron Maiden? Heck, stoning, too. All these are viable for capital punishment. We need impressment, the stockade, branding, loss of ears or nose. Heck, it's all good, huh? At least for these Rethug creeps.

[maddogbitesback]

The rack is cumbersome and not cheap. I say use the thumbscrew.

[altohone]

The MCA provided retroactive immunity for excesses that "may have occurred" in "harsh interrogations".

The sickening thing about a Mukasey confirmation is that his reluctance on waterboarding is based on ongoing activities... and that the neocon Dems will join the GOP to approve this state of affairs.

Precedent is being set that waterboarding is official United States policy, with bi-partisan support as to its' legality and officials with that view can be confirmed as long as they dodge the question.

A question to consider-
Will those who do not consider waterboarding legal now be considered unqualified for jobs in the Justice Department?

[indypete]

Now you're talking! Cheney would love you!