When I die, I would like to be eaten by puppies.

I would prefer happy, rambunctious puppies, about eight weeks old and from the same litter if possible; come to think of it, Dalmatian pups would be ideal, because when I was...

Eric Bolling, host of Fox New's The Five has uncovered a liberal conspiracy of a scope and magnitude unimaginable by an average mind. Bolling, known for his keen analytical skills, yesterday revealed the truth behind "Sandra Fluke," the sex-drug terrorist who blew up Rush Limbaugh:

President...

If you don't have the two or three hundred dollars to take your children to the 3D movies this weekend, then you must read them the old instructions, over and over again, until they can recite them...

Actually, I'm not sorry at all, but I suppose an explanation is in order.

Last week, I wrote a piece with the somewhat provocative title "The Jesus-Eating Cult of Rick Santorum." The purpose was to take Santorum to task for his persistent and opportunistic attacks on the faith...

It's time to take a good hard look at Rick Santorum's faith.

Many of you will be shocked to learn what our possible future president believes, who he answers to, the bloody jihads his so-called church has carried...

She's untruthful, unethical, hateful and often wrong. She makes America worse. Can her.

There she went again, smearing her vile invective across our screens, diminishing us all as human beings.

Poking her stink finger into another none-of-her-business, Nancy Grace managed to make the death of Whitney...

"He is counting on us not having YouTube. That's how much he thinks we're stupid," Newt Gingrich yelled at Floridians a couple of days ago, before adding, tongue in jowl, "and we're not stupid."

Leaving aside the questionable link between YouTube and nonstupidity, Gingrich has a point. Mitt...

I like hate. It's delicious, hot or cold. It burns clean. It makes office work bearable and it shapes nations -- even and, perhaps especially, ours.

That's why I hate to see it wasted.

It's not news to anyone with an Internet connection that we are awash in hate, an...

They say he is a panderer, that he is just telling people what they want to hear, and yet there was Mitt Romney in South Carolina last night, vowing to prevent America from becoming a "European social welfare state," promising to end an unjust system "where government takes from some...

The once adorably loopy Saturday Night Live comedienne Victoria Jackson took to the interwaves recently, warning that Muslims were in charge of our weapons of mass destruction and that Muslims were training our TSA screeners and that our president was a secret Muslim, wiping his Islammy fingers all...

Curious: For the past month, books about presidents (Being George Washington, Killing Lincoln and Jack Kennedy) by pundits (Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly and Chris Matthews respectively) have occupied three of the top five slots in the New York Times' nonfiction bestseller list.

As the great probability theorist Pierre de Fermat...

My mother did not believe gift giving should be gratuitous. Every present had a purpose and often a moral. Some years back, we had to talk her out of giving a relative a bathroom scale for Christmas because "he obviously doesn't know how much he weighs."

It is in that...

Why does the Supreme Court bother to hear cases at all anymore? Is it a parlor game, a form of rhetorical kabuki or do the justices still believe that they make up their minds after hearing the evidence, based on unwavering legal principles?

The days are long past when a...

I'll admit it: I once was a journalist. I needed the money, and anyway, at the time the news media was devoted to uncovering the truth, not working to destroy it.

I worked the Chicago desk for United Press International where, every two or three days, a woman would call...

Our leaders have failed us, as promised. So it's up to We, the American People, to revive our faltering economy while ensuring our long-term financial health. It's a bit of a pickle, but I'm sure if we all roll up our shirt sleeves--

I'm not wearing a shirt! Woo!

Be...

As the fourth Thursday of the eleventh month rolls around again, media custom demands that this space be given over to hoary reverie, the annual listicle of thanks giving, composed far in advance to allow the writer to spend the holidays at a local bar thinking about his family. I...

Seven billionth babies are popping like gooey champagne corks as we celebrate the great progress we've made infesting the planet.

"She looks so lovely," said the mom of Baby Danica, born in Manila just after midnight yesterday. "I can't believe she is the world's seven billionth."

"I'm so happy,"...

It's the fun game everybody's playing!

Today on "Who's to Blame?" we tackle some of our nation's most intractable problems by just knowing who's responsible and angrily gesticulating in their direction. Please hold your righteous applause until the end.

Problem: The Crap Economy

To Blame: The Poor, for talking back...

The Apocalypse is upon us once again (This Friday! Wear sunscreen!), and so what better time to get our antichrists in order?

Jolly Herman Cain would seem an unlikely Beast, but Michele Bachmann's got his number. "When you take the 9-9-9 plan and you turn it upside down,"...

"I'm angry," says Suanne Martin of Nashville, "at the way corporations have taken over our country."

"I'm angry," says Dee Close, down the road apiece in Memphis, "that those who are elected hijack the country."

Two Tennessee belles, one good and one evil, a blonde and...