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Dear Catholics: I Am Heartily Sorry, etc.

Posted: Updated:

Actually, I'm not sorry at all, but I suppose an explanation is in order.

Last week, I wrote a piece with the somewhat provocative title "The Jesus-Eating Cult of Rick Santorum." The purpose was to take Santorum to task for his persistent and opportunistic attacks on the faith of others, in particular his dog whistle references to President Obama's "phony ideology" and his assertion that it is impossible to be a Christian and liberal. My criticism took the form of a ridiculously over-the-top broadside against Roman Catholicism, a demonstration of the type of vicious religious ignorance and intolerance I too often see coming from too many so-called Christians, especially Santorum.

Apparently, a lot of Catholics are willing to accept that other people believe they are cannibals. (Bill Donahue, the official fake spokesman for the Church through his League of Extraordinary Catholics or whatever it's called, quoted that section in his weekly hissy fit today.) I had thought that the gratuitous references to NAMBLA, or tying the Church to terrorism based on their behavior during the Inquisitions, would have been a tip-off.

I won't say that Catholics need to lighten up or learn to take a joke, because the piece wasn't intended to be light-hearted or funny. It was satire, meaning... well, you can look that up. (It was probably a mistake to put it in the Comedy section; the editors wanted readers to know it was not to be taken literally.)

It's traditional at this point for me to half-apologize, to say that I'm sorry if anybody was offended, but I really don't mind if anybody was offended. I hope they will now think twice before they question the faith of progressive Christians, or Mormons or Muslims. I doubt they will.

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