Larry Gelbart

It has been suggested by some that what seems like the inexorable strike between the Writers Guilds of America, East and West and The Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers is akin to the present war in Iraq.

That is a glib distortion; one which completely...

That presupposes, of course, that there remains the even the slightest bit of benign interest in we poor shmucks by any sort of Higher Power, given the plagues and the pestilence we've come to know, the floods and droughts; the insults to life and limb caused by our falling bridges...

"l did not have sex with that man."

I honestly thought nothing was going to happen to Fredo as long as Barbara Bush stayed alive.

On the subject of George W. Bush's last five hundred days as the Decider, the Denier and Deliar (with apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson, as well as the rest of the world).

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'
Was there a man dismay'd ?
Not tho' the soldier knew
...

Dean Rosen, Faculty, Graduating Class of 2007, honored guests -

My name is Larry and I am a masochist.

Falling off the wagon, I recently called a film producer in the hope of interesting him in our working on a project together. Getting as far as his assistant, I was...

Seriously.

I can no longer keep up, let alone follow the plots cooked up by the perpetrators of our new Pox Americana, the practitioners of dipstick diplomacy led by our chief denier and destroyer. (If it were not for Iraq, I do believe there is every chance we would never...

Without Tony Blair around, who's going to provide W with English subtitles?

Dick Cheney saw massacre.

And he called it success.

This Kevorkian of the constitution has a preternatural gift that allows him to be as inaccurate about predicting the future -- "we'll be treated as liberators" -- as he is when announcing the ever-changing present -- "the insurgency is in its...

Just one more chance, Mr. Bush?

After four bloody years and all those hundreds of billions of wasted dollars and all those bulging body bags?

All that was just a mulligan?

Mr Lear, one of the great satirists of our time, virtually predicted the current circus of truthiness we call our government ten years ago with his genius Mastergate, first produced as a play and then a SHOWTIME film. It is a prescient, surreal indictment of the lengths the liars...

He is blog proof.

He is ballot proof.

He has the flexibility of an I-beam combined with the IQ of a houseplant, and I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep shaking my tiny little fist, employing whatever is left of my wits and my wit to point out that...

The Uniter-Decider has now become ta-da -- The Escalator!

Iraq
Iraq
Iraq
Abu Ghraib
Guantanamo
Unwarranted Phone Taps
Unprecedented Powers
Unmatched Incompetence
Unparalleled Corruption
Governor Bob Taft
Representative Tom Delay
Representative Roy Blunt
Representative Ken Calvert
Representative John Dolittle
Representative Tom Feeney
Representative Katherine...

Waking up is hard to do.

So much harder than it used to be.

So hard to start the day gagging on a body count before breakfast.

So hard looking into the bathroom mirror, still trying to absorb the sight of...

All it took was one person to lie to the world about the war-making ability of another nation.

All it's taking is one person to continue to cause the deaths and the maiming of thousands of his countrymen and women, while rarely, if ever, saying one word about the countless...

A is for Abu-Graib. Admission accomplished. Happily, all of the women responsible for perpetrating the torture, degradation and unspeakable humiliation have been named and/or punished.

B is for Bolton, hard-driving, hard-headed, abusive, butt-kicking diplomat.

C is for Congress. A debatable society - formerly...

Having reread my comments regarding Ann Coulter, l readily agree that l misquoted her. She did in fact say that the Jews owed their survival to their susceptibility to pandering.

Considering that certain foreign fascists (as opposed to our homegrown ones) didn't appreciate the difference between...

What the hell is going on?

Why is the Air Force Academy behaving as though the flying machine was invented by the far-Wright Brothers?

Don't equal opportunity considerations require the creation of an American-Jewish Air Force, as well? One that would fly only...