That presupposes, of course, that there remains the even the slightest bit of benign interest in we poor shmucks by any sort of Higher Power, given the plagues and the pestilence we've come to know, the floods and droughts; the insults to life and limb caused by our falling bridges or our Chinese toothpaste.
Who could blame Him -- or Her -- or Them -- if just the thought of us so repels them that they try to blow us off this orb with winds and waves that rival the force of a jet?
There is not enough room freshener in all the world that would rid us of the stench caused by one simple man's convenient truth -- that the hopefully outcumbent senior senator from the great state of Idaho (according to some, an expert at brokeback mounting, and agreed by all to have put the can in Republican) did, despite the claims of desperate GOP-P strategists, who say that, at worst, this Don Juan of the johns "merely" cheated on his wife. In their attempts to re-drag yet another DC/WC star (William Clinton) through the muck, this gang that cannot aim straight, no matter how many times they try to shoot, completely ignore the fact that their Prince Charmin also cheated on the very same great state of Idaho; and he cheated on the United States Senate, the one that continues to allow David Vitter to hold on to his seat with hands that have held on to far more attractive seats, not a single soul demanding that he pay the price (Senator Vitter having already left the price on his way out on top of the dresser); lastly, the ungaynly Craig, in retiring from his retirement, cheated on the American public the minute he was encouraged to believe that he had the slightest specter of vindication.
And, of course, because it makes near-perfect nonsense, the Grand Old Party will be returning to the scene of the slime when it checks into Minneapolis next year for the purpose of picking a successor to our present Crier-in-Chief, who, we have come to learn dampens the Lord's shoulder from time to time with a crock of his tears.
One can only hope that at the conclusion of those proceedings, the Reptilican family values daisy chain will offer us a heartfelt, long overdue chorus of "The Party's Over."