You have to, er, hand it to Larry Craig. He found a way to milk homosexuality for all it's worth--if you happen to be a deeply closeted, anti-gay public figure: political gain and sexual gratification too. If only out gay Americans enjoyed the same kind of two-for-one deal.
"I am not gay," Craig told a gathering of reporters yesterday, "I have never been gay." Really? Never? Well, whatever the senator did or didn't do in college or one wine-soaked evening with an Idaho National Guardsman with piercing blue eyes is really of little interest to me. If we are to believe the police report leading to his guilty plea, Craig is just another closet case messed up enough [pdf] to combine clandestine queer sex with public and professional homophobia.
It's the circumstances under which Craig and Florida state representative Bob Allen have been busted that pique my curiosity. Ever since the Democratic mayor of Fort Lauderdale, Jim Naugle, announced that a plague of "homosexual sex in bathrooms" warranted a re-design of the city's public restrooms, I've been wondering who in the hell meets strangers for sex in a public bathroom. It's not really the sort of place you go to for the ambiance.
According to the Fort Lauderdale police, the answer to my question is... virtually no one. Counter to the mayor's claim, the local police told the press that sex in public bathrooms was "not much of a problem," and that they had made just two arrests since November 2005. That's only one arrest per spring break. Naugle has refuted that number, of course. And I, for one, have doubts that those incidents involved out gay men. (Just think what the heterosexual taste for public sex has contributed to popular culture: without it there'd be no such thing as the Mile High Club, roll-out bleacher stands at high schools, or--if my parents are to be believed--me.)
After the Fort Lauderdale police debunked their mayor's case of homosexual panic, I went about my life as I had before: happily convinced that gay sex in men's room was a faded relic from the olden times, when homosexuals lurked in the shadows of restroom stalls, patiently waiting for the next poor paperboy to stumble upon their trap. At least, that's what they told us in school. After all, the modern gay man, always at the forefront of fashion trends, knows that marriage is in, while anonymous public sex has gone the way of "the Farrah."
If only Florida State Representative Bob Allen spent as much time talking to gay men as he does (allegedly) chasing queer sex. Allen contended that fear of African American men somehow compelled him to offer one $20 for oral sex in--you guessed it--a public restroom. Well, I can't argue with his flawless reasoning. It's a well-known fact that one is less likely to be assaulted by a stranger if they offer him cash for gay sex. But there was something about the way he lisped while insisting, I'm not gay, I'm just racist that made me doubt his story. It's also worth noting that one would have to really love performing fellatio to think engaging in it with Bob Allen could be anything short of a four-figure gig. Even if they're "bad at it."
And now we have Craig's pitiful attempt to cover up his dual penchant for public homophobia and public sex. The US senator from Idaho, who was arrested for apparently flashing the toilet sex equivalent of the bat signal to an undercover cop, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct when arrested. Of course, his cover story is that the cop merely misunderstood his "wide stance," and that Craig pleaded guilty just to make the charges go away. Again, I'm just not buying it. And not just because Craig spent two minutes peeking at the undercover officer through a crack in the toilet stall door, settled down next to him to play some very advanced footsie, and er, pleaded guilty.
My hunch is based largely on the fact that Craig clearly knew why he was being arrested. How on earth would he even know to yell, "No," when the cop flashed his badge, if he wasn't up to no good? I, for one, wave my hand under the wall of a bathroom stall when I'm asking for toilet paper, not preparing to plead guilty to disorderly conduct. If I saw a badge, my reaction would be confusion, not denial. (Note: this gesture will be discontinued now that I know what it might signal to the closeted Republican homophobe next to me.)
Through quick math and my own very unscientific methodology, I am forced to conclude that the people having gay sex in public restrooms seem to be anti-gay politicians. And Jim Naugle, I'm keeping an eye on you.
But, public sex isn't the real problem with this picture. To be honest, as a public menace, it ranks fairly low. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to see people use public restrooms for their intended use, either. Basically, anything that happens in there, I don't want to see.
No, it's the fact that Craig and Allen were seeking to legislatively deny LGBT people our rights while trying to get away with having anonymous queer sex that burns me. In reality, Craig has paid a small price thus far for the way chose to, shall we say, express his sexuality. He has been placed on unsupervised probation and must pay a small fine. Compare that with the political rewards he's reaped from promoting anti-gay policy for years, thanks to the good voters of Idaho, and Craig's still coming out well ahead, even if he resigns tomorrow.
Other gay and lesbian Americans, who were home trying to build their families while Craig was learning the secret sign, aren't nearly as lucky. We've never had a real taste of political respectability: our relationships are denigrated by candidates of both parties. Our second-class citizenship status goes beyond lacking basic marriage rights, which affects our ability to make medical decisions for the people we love or even share health insurance without the "gay tax" (it also means that we get clobbered at tax time). Discrimination in education and employment means that we experience higher rates of poverty, while widespread bullying in our schools means that too many LGBT youths do poorly or fail to graduate. And our legislators team their unwillingness to protect us with their unwillingness to pass and enforce hate crime legislation. The list goes on and on.
So long as they're not hurting anyone, I say politicians can live their lives the way they want. But if their idea of a consolation prize in the battle for gay marriage is a blow job from Bob Allen or Larry Craig, I think I speak for the vast majority when I say, we'll pass.
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I'm NOT Straight, I'm NOT Straight, I'm NOT Straight, I'm NOT Straight, NEVER been Straight.
Now can I vote against special rights of Different Sex couples?
I read on a LGBT blog though I can't remember which one that out of 40 arrests at Atlanta's Hartfield Airport recently, 36 men were married or involved in heterosexual relations. 90% and since it is more than 32 cases it's therefore statistically significant. For what it is worth, there are guide books on where to meet men and have sex and NOT get arrested. Now if there were a guide for Senator Craig on how not to be hypocrite.
Thanks for a great post, Mr. Womack. I have friends who are long-time life partners and excellent parents (why their getting married is anyone else's business when they are clearly married in every really meaningful way is a whole other issue). I also have a very few (I'm pretty ancient and so are most of the people I hang out with) who are "don't fence me in" types who'd rather die than be married with children. None of them would solicit sex from a stranger in a airport toilet. Maybe a club or bar where that's what happens. Sure sneaky "public" sex is a lot of fun if memory serves, but there's public and then there's public. I hate that either the carefree single life with lots of casual sex or the settled down monogamous one has to be the subject of ridicule, let alone legalities. Who was the Edwardian gentlewoman who said she didn't care what people did as long as they didn't do it in the street and frighten the horses? She was on the money. Gay, straight, casual or committed, if you're not the one having the sex or being forced to watch or listen when you'd rather not, what's it to you?
Most of us who are bothered by hypocrisy more than genitalia don't want this latest GOP mess to be used against gay people in any way.
Anonymous bathroom sex=bargain debasment
Larry,
Thank you for this article, and yes we are all keeping an eye on Jim Naugle. By the way, he was unanimously voted off the tourism board today.
jim in Ft Lauderdale
What pisses me off is we get from the bastards when they are grandstanding and lying in office and then get it again when they get caught with their pants down. For some reason whenever a closet case bisexual married man does something stupid, it sudden painted by the media and anti-gay zealots as something we all do. Funny, that never happens when a straight man gets caught with a hooker.
Anonymous gay public sex is not dead at all, nor should it be. It's better than the best fun you've ever had. No, not in a public restroom where others are forced to watch: enforcement is appropriate there. But there has also been a campaign all over the US in recent years to close down any porn theaters, peepshows, gay bars, or steambaths where gay guys might get it on without scandalizing the innocent, and that is not necessary. And all of you people talking about "pervs" and "sick puppies," grow up just a little: you'd have to be a "sick puppy" to engage in any fetish you could name--or so it seems to anyone who doesn't share that fetish. The proposal to put all those "pervs" in jail is a perfect example of the overuse of incarceration: jail should be, by and large, for crimes of violence, and most cases of public sex constitute a public nuisance but not a molestation or an assault. I'm amazed at how much everybody thinks it's their business to tell me whether it's all right to meet other gay guys anonymously (in a place where families with children won't be watching), and also that straight guys think it's their business to tell me that that's out of style.
Good point! I didn't notice anybody protesting "Top Gun" when Tom Cruise followed Kelly McGillis into the bathroom and propositioned her on the counter. That was probably worse, now that I think of it. Sure, it was just a movie, but the children, won't somebody think of the children?
I feel sorry for the wives that have to "stand by their man" in front of the press. His wife looked like she would kill him if she could. She is the victim here. She wasn't wearing those big sun-glasses for nothin.
Gobble, you're so right. She married a closeted man without knowing it. And that sucks for both of them.
I think shes been in some serious denial and now its all coming down on her. I hope she finds the strength to leave that lying, cheating asshole.
Oh and not to mention that his risky behavior put her at risk as well. If I were his wife, I'd be BEYOND pissed and dialing up the divorce lawyer faster than you can say "quickie".
The real issue is that what Senator Craig was doing should have been a bigger crime than it really was. Being gay isn't a crime and trying to meet someone for sex (gay or straight) isn't a crime but useing a public restroom for any purpose other than it's intended purpose should be a crime.
Gay, straight, bi or confused - I don't care, but when I need to take a crap and can't get a toilet because some fool wants to use a crap room instead of a chat room I am outraged! And when I am on the toilet, I don't want to deal with a disrespectful "Mary" peeking in on me.
I'm gay, I have a family and we have values based on honesty,love and respect. Senator Craig and all the foot tappers need to get their values right and learn to respect other people and their rights such my right not to s*** my pants while you play dicky games.
When my teenage son spends an hour in the shower doing what teenage boys do or when my husband spends an hour in front of the bathroom mirror before we go out, I accept these uses and yell and bang when push comes to shove (pun intended) but should I have to yell and bang in public restrooms.
Come on America in this case the stink is not and was not in the toilet but rather the stink is from extreme hypocracy, lies, and a lack of respect for ones self and others. I feel sorry for Senator Craig's family. I feel sorry that Senator Craig became another victim of homophobia and hate which sadly is a result of his republican efforts.
Hopefully all of us will re-evaluate our values and I especially hope all of our political leaders can now see how painful it can be to be forced into closets and bathroom stalls. Whether you're gay or perceived as gay, no one should be targeted and bashed with hatred and that goes for Senator Craig as well.
It goes without question that sex in public restrooms should be illegal and the law should be enforced as a matter of public safety.
One more thing. No one would accuse me of being obsessive about cleanliness, but doing it where people piss and crap goes way beyond even my tolerance. You gotta be one sick puppy.
If Womack is right and most gay men feel the same as me, they won't have to worry about the laws will they?
I fail to see any compelling interest the state has in regulating consensual sex in any form.
That it's disgusting is just my own personal opinion. That it is happening in a public place is a matter of protecting people from indecent behavior. The fact that the sex act is consensual and homosexual is really not the issue.
Craig is a hypocrite; THAT is his only crime here.
There are so many definitions of "indecent behavior" that I, for one, don't know what the term means. People should never be physically assaulted, should never be forced into doing anything they don't want to do, should never be verbally assaulted. And people shouldn't peek into other people's toilet stalls without being invited to do so. But "indecent behavior"? I know that for some people in the U.S. just being gay, or even just being single and over 25, is considered "indecent".
Men who have sex in public restrooms and men and women who have sex together in public parks, malls, theaters, alleyways and buses don't do it when they see that children are present, or when children show up after things are in progress. If kids do see it, it's an accident, and very brief. Kids do sometimes see dogs or other animals fuck too, and it doesn't seem to harm them, so I don't understand this particular worry - except as an expression of the religious belief that sex is fundamentally disgusting and sinful unless it is uplifted from it's animal nature by love. But that's religion, not reality.
The "Protect Children" argument is a straw-man brought up by people who want a good-sounding reason to stop activities that they don't know anything about.
The people here who are going "eeew" are mostly going "eeew" at what they IMAGINE is going on. Not what is really going on.
Wait a minute...Craig's a self-hating closet case, for sure, but he got arrested for tapping his toe and rubbing the stall? That's a crime?
Look, I'm not so naive as to claim that he wasn't propositioning the guy in the next stall, but that's not a crime! And I'm not so disingenuous as to claim that Craig wasn't trying to entice the guy in the next stall to have sex there in the men's room, but it never got that far!
So while Craig's a self-hating closet case, I'm happy he's been shown to be the hypocrite that he is, and I hope that he loses his seat because of it, I don't understand why he's been charged with any crime. He should fight the hell out of it.
Propositioning someone, even in a men's room, is not a crime.
"Propositioning someone, even in a men's room, is not a crime."
It IS a crime..Soliciting and lewed conduct.. That is what he pleaded guilty to.
Yes, that's what he pled guilty to, but that isn't what he did. "Soliciting" is requesting money for sex. No such request was made. "Lewd conduct" is actually having sex in public. No such action took place.
All he did was look at a stall door, tap his toe, and rub a partition.
Again, I am not so naive as to claim that Craig wasn't trying to entice the guy in the stall next to him to have sex with him right there in the men's room. But, the cop jumped the gun: It never got that far. The cop needed to wait for Craig to actually start engaging in some sort of overt sexual display in order to substantiate a charge of lewd conduct. Looking at a stall door, tapping your toe, and rubbing the partition doesn't cut it.
Craig should fight the charges. It is not a crime to ask somebody for sex.
You raise an interesting point (no pun intended), Rrhain. Craig did not actually DO anything that was illegal. I still believe he was there for the express purpose of getting it on with a stranger - but it never got that far; no money was exchanged nor price agreed upon, as with a hooker. Just some fondling of a stall barrier and some toe tapping. Hmmmm? Even though his reptutation has gone to hell, he should vehemently fight the entrapment issue. It begs the question what lengths ANYONE would go through who had to live in a position of not being able to openly pursue their sexual leanings for ANY reason. If heterosexuality were outlawed or negatively legislated tomorrow (say, for overpopulation), straights would be in the bushes too (again, no pun intended).
Did you hear that when Craig was searched at the booking desk---they found three drug company lobbyists and one NRA board member in his pocket?
A bit wrong-Senator Craig is in their pockets-till he resigns.
Check out your big department stores at lucn time people they hang out there for sex !
GOP = GEE OH PEE
GOP = GULP OLD PEE
GOP = GRUNGY OUTHOUSE PEDERASTS
GOP = GRUBBY OUTHOUSE PERVERTS
GOP = GETTING OBLITERATED POLITICALLY
GOP = GETTING OBSOLETE POLITICALLY
GOP = GETTING OUSTED (FROM) POWER
GOP = GOBBLING OUTHOUSE PECKERS
GOP = GOBBLING ODD PECKERS
GOP = GOBBLING ODIUS PECKERS
GOP = GRANDLY OFFENSIVE PRICKS
GOP = GOT OUTHOUSE PRICK?
GOP = GOT OILY PALMS?
ETC ETC ETC
LOL, awesome.
Please beleive Larrry Craig when he shouts that he is not gay. There is nothing gay about self loathing homophobia tortured by the darkness of one's own closet. As the Republican party promotes these creatures to prominence their brand promise becomes nothing less than sexual deviance and rank hypocracy.
Let's quit talking about this sick bastard being a closeted homosexual. He is just a pervert. Gay or straight, who likes sex with strangers in public restrooms? Pervs, that's who!
Correction: Allen was willing to pay to *perform* oral sex on the undercover officer. Even the cop was taken aback by it.
I guess this is the "compassionate conservatism" the GOP talks about.
Larry Craig, Bob Allen, Mark Foley, Dennis Hastert, Ted Haggard, Jeff Gannon, Matt Sanchez...are we starting to see a pattern yet?
It occurred to me today that the iron-fist "party discipline" we have seen in the Republican Party since 1996 might have been obtained by recruiting or retaining Republicans with such shady pasts or habits that their loyalty could be coerced BY threat of exposure. Just a thought.
Yeah.Not sure that Log Cabin is big enough...Oh, but that's right: they ignore the Gay Republicans and don't take their contributions. I think they're having an identity crisis.
Bravo for a witty and spot-on analysis. I'm wondering when enough of us will get it, and put these jokers where they can get all the anonymous sex they long for - in JAIL.
Apparently the men's room at the Minnesota airport had a been a problem area for these kinds of trysts, and the police had received many complaints. That's why they ran the sting, and there were other arrests as well.
I don't care what Craig or anybody does, either, but don't do it in a place that is also used by children.
The BEST post on this entire debacle. I am weary of hypocritical moralizers intent on removing temptation from their own paths by circumscribing the rest of us. Leading a Godly life means controlling oneself, not imposing upon others.
"Thanks for coming out to my press conference today. I am here to say: I am not straight, and I never have been straight. I am not even a bisexual man married to a woman, with a couple of kids, who has done his best to suppress his desires but they will occasionally become too much in airport restrooms. But I am here to say, crossdressed and all: I have never had sex in a public restroom.
"The idea of it is gross. Yet check out Craig's List (no relation) and gays do meet in some pretty bad places-- adult bookstores with glory holes, parks, parking lots. Oh well, a homophobic society has to expect some bad side effects for making gays meet in secret for all these decades.
"Still-- a warm-and-fuzzy side of me would miss the whole 'cruising grounds' thing if do-gooder gay activists ever totally won their battle. If gays end up getting married, and having white picket fences, and two beautiful adopted children-- well, it sounds kind of boring. Honestly, I will miss the 'other-ness' of the so-called gay 'lifestyle' (denounced so superbly by Republicans who suppress their own genetic makeup so poorly). Once we're all the same, in 2015, gays and straights, labels firmly affixed to our uniforms, that's when the fun (the only fun to be had with all that tedious conformity) really begins: the taunting and ridiculing of *single* gays, as well as *single* straights, people who rent and don't buy, people who dislike kids.
"To make this blissful future arrive more quickly, I advocate installing cameras in all public restrooms (and a select number of bathrooms in private citizens' homes). In addition, we should post undercover police officers in all restrooms, since I assume the majority of our police department budgets are currently running a surplus. 'Dateline' producers should also be present.
"Thank you. Now I have a fund-raiser to attend."
THAT WAS FUNNY!
Okay, I tried to read the official police report sent to me by a link last night - and it didn't work. I just tried to listen to the reading of the police report here on HuffPo - and it didn't work. Nor could i get to comments. Anybody else sniff a conspiracy to prevent people to know that NOT GAY is horny for men?
Maybe Senator Craig is falling on his sword (no pun intended[well maybe]) for his party. After all, nobody is talking about Rove or Gonzales anymore.
Except Fox Cable(dot com): their lead story online is about an African-American kid whose shoplifting momma left him in a Wal-Mart.
Larry Craig is buried in the fine print next to the Katrina "success stories".
I guess it's bad taste to call Fox the Republican "party organ" in this case....?
Posted August 29, 2007 | 01:19 PM (EST)