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Laura Barcella

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Madonna and Me: How the Queen of Pop Saved Me From Choosing the Wrong Guy

Posted: 03/ 6/2012 9:31 am

My first love, John, and I weren't meant to be. Of course, I didn't know this at the time we were together. If I had, I never would have dated him. What can I say? I was blinded by college naiveté and his Buddy Holly glasses. But looking back, I should have known something was off. Why? Because he never liked Madonna.

Not that most straight men I know do like Madonna. They just don't seem to "get" the Material Girl and her resonance with modern women -- her mercurial style changes, her penchant for weird sexual power dynamics, and her shrewd, calculated business approach. But John was much more vehement in his distaste; he seemed to downright resent her, calling her nasty names and making ludicrous proclamations about her.

Whenever we'd "talk" about Madonna, we'd inevitably end up in a fight. Of course, I was twenty then and desperately in love for the first time, so love meant drama (underlined, italicized, with a capital D): roiling, over-the-top passion, fire, and . . . fighting. Lots and lots of drunken fighting, about the state of us, the world, other people -- and Madonna.

When I first met John, I was a college junior . My obsession with Her, on the other hand, began at age six, when I first saw her flounce onto MTV. As a burgeoning music junkie, I was into everything from Tears for Fears and Samantha Fox to Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam, but there was something about this twenty-six-year-old new girl on the block that hooked me in a different way. After hearing my very first Madonna song ("Borderline"), I became a bona fide wannabe. She was just so . . . cool. (And supposedly she had a genius IQ! Not only was she cool, she was smart as hell.) It was love.

I memorized every lyric to every song, and I used my friends' birthday parties as an excuse to dress like her. (I still can't believe my mom let me out of the house in some of those outfits: black lace headbands, fingerless gloves, mesh tank tops, neon socks; I was a full-fledged Madonna mini-me). My obsession faded a bit as I grew up and my musical tastes changed, but I continued to follow both her career and her personal life. I kept her in my back pocket like a little guardian angel, and I turned to her for hits of strength and inspiration when I needed them; she always delivered. Whenever I felt scared or anxious, I'd think, What would Madonna do? She handled life with such swagger and self-respect. There were insecurities in there somewhere (um, right?) but she never let on; no matter what the personal hurdle, she maintained a perpetual air of invincibility, and I admired her for it. Particularly in high school, when I found myself steeped in insecurity and adolescent longing, drawing little to no attention from decent guys. I constantly fought off feelings of inferiority because of my sheer lack of experience in the dude department. Like lots of teenage girls, I'd given the idea of romantic love too much weight, too much power (aren't American girls taught, even encouraged, to think this way?). By the time I hit college -- Madonna still in my back pocket -- I understood intellectually that a woman didn't require a romantic relationship to be happy, but I found it difficult to apply that notion to myself. I believed other women were fine on their own, that their single status indicated nothing lacking about them, but it was different when it came to me and my painfully single status. At best, I felt attractive but damaged; at worst, lost and unlovable.

And so it was that when I first saw John standing outside a bodega on St. Mark's Place one muggy summer night in New York City (I was there for a summer internship), I was ready. I'd waited a long time to fall in love. It was his Smiths T-shirt that first sold me -- a longtime lover of the Smiths and Morrissey, I had a weakness for fellow fans. They were usually like me: maybe a bit socially awkward, but also tender-hearted -- misanthropes who thought too much, analyzed everything, and wanted love but had absolutely no clue where to find it (or even how to flirt).

Something tugged me toward him. I liked him immediately -- his lankiness, his pasty blondness and his blue eyes behind black glasses. (I was pasty and blond and wore glasses, too.) I got his number and called him two days later. Within a few dates, I was falling for him; it was mutual and heady and beautiful. We looked like brother and sister, which felt somehow sick and sexy at the same time.

 
 
 

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12:40 PM on 03/08/2012
The narcissism of celebrities tends to suddenly become an issue as soon as it is female celebrities being analyzed. And largely when it is men analyzing them. We have yet to separate our distaste for vanity from our feelings of being threatened by strong, independent, and sexually empowered women.
09:55 AM on 03/08/2012
I, on the other hand, was always a female who identified with male stars. People still think it's weird when I say I idolize Robert Palmer. Why in the heck not? He was on Madonna's level (or beyond it) musically.
Without Robert's influence, I think a lot of people would be missing out on R&B and deeper cuts of the Rock genres. He obviously stayed away from Dance because it's a fleeting trendy genre and he was all about staying power. Too bad he was pressured into becoming a Top 40 artist in the 80s, which pretty much wrecked his career.
The truly sad thing is that for how much people praise Gaga, she'll NEVER be at Robert's level as she's too concerned with drawing attention to herself and he was all about ingenuity and throwing all his passion in his work, not about impressing people or winning them over (Which I loved about him). His technical work made her pounding at the ivories look childish and unpolished to me, let's wait until the inevitable stress breakdown and real turmoil in her life, then she'll be "good".

I never wanted to be the Madonna or Gaga, I always wanted to be the Palmer, above and beyond everyone else and an invisible presence that was always there.
03:38 AM on 03/08/2012
Watching Madonna during the superbowl reminded me of when Ethel Merman cut a disco album. Desperately trying to stay relevant. I remember when Madonna hit the scene, she pretty much reinforced the pressure on adolescent girls to look a certain way. She is nothing more than a cynical business woman who has appropriated every culture and exploits sexuality to sell records.
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madeye1
I cahoot with no one.
10:38 PM on 03/07/2012
Very good writing. One thing keeps bothering me - the guy hid your makeup? That is really weird.
01:09 AM on 03/08/2012
Thanks! Yeah, the makeup thing was pretty bizarre. He said he thought I looked better without it, so he hid it from me to prevent me from using it. I got pissed, obviously. And I found it pretty quickly. And I kept wearing it, obvs.
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MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
08:49 PM on 03/07/2012
I like the fact that it was his not liking Madonna, rather than denying the Holocaust that was the deal breaker.
10:32 AM on 03/08/2012
I didn't discover his views on the Holocaust until last year (as I wrote in the second to last paragraph).
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kit1544
08:42 PM on 03/07/2012
Oh Laura, you were so lucky to get away from that guy before you got too entangled. He has to have serious issue with independent woman and people who are 'other' to him in general. A very bad place to be.
I enjoyed your blog a great deal. Being a bit older and a 50s/60s rock 'n roller, I never quite 'got' Madonna until I listen to her recently. I did admire and respect her for her vitality, independent thinking and the way she pushed the envelope all the time! It is interesting how people seem to love or hate her with such passion. She is definitely a touch stone for an open mind.
Some of the comments are 'scary' for their vehement 'hatred' of Madonna!
01:21 AM on 03/08/2012
Thanks for your comment. I'm so glad you enjoyed the piece. I agree -- in retrospect I can see clearly that my breakup with John was for the best. It was excruciatingly painful at the time (and that pain lasted for years, honestly), but it's clear to me now that I was pulling the wool over my own eyes to some extent when it came to that particular relationship. At the time, I truly felt like we were "soul mates" (how cute, right? I believed in soul mates back then!) and that we were meant to be together.
07:58 PM on 03/07/2012
M-A-D-O-N-N-A--F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!! 25 years later & we're STILL talking about her!!
01:30 AM on 03/08/2012
Actually--pushing 30 years. (Her debut single, "Everybody," was released in October of 1982. It didn't make much impact on the pop scene, but it became a big club hit.)
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Edward Norman
07:41 PM on 03/07/2012
I think that, overall, both Madonna and Lady Gaga are very good, positive role models for young women. Put aside the bizarre costumes, hairdo's, and some questionable 'on-stage' & 'off-stage' behavior, and both women have had to work extremely hard to suceed in the music business, and quite a lot of their music is very positive self-image oriented; not all of it, but most of it. Plus, as my Dad used to remind me frequently, no one is perfect and that would apply to celebrities also. I saw Madonna recently on "The Graham Norton Show" on BBC America, and was shocked -- she was quite the lady, gracious, & polite. I've also seen Lady Gaga on "The Jonathan Ross Show" when it was on BBC; again, she handled herself very well, polite, gracious, exuding an air that demanded respect. I remember when Madona first hit the airwaves, I was just out of high-school & no one thought she would last. But I think her determination to succeed is what drove her to such fame, & the same goes for Gaga. So in that respect I see them both as very positive role models teaching girls & young women self-respect, self-worth and self-acceptance, plus never let people push you around or abuse you.
01:25 AM on 03/08/2012
I can still recall when People Magazine reviewed Madonna's "Holiday" and Shannon's "Let the Music Play" and the reviewer picked Shannon for "superstardom" while consigning Madonna to being nothing but a one-hit wonder or that she'd make nothing more than a minor impact at best. Well, Shannon had the bigger hit of the two songs, but was never really able to come close to Madonna's longterm success.
12:25 AM on 03/09/2012
That was because of MTV. Madonna looked better in music videos so that's why she became more successful. If she had started out a decade earlier or even a decade later, she likely never would have made it.
01:28 AM on 03/08/2012
Thanks for commenting. I completely agree that Madonna has been a positive role model for young women. I've always felt that way, but it became even more clear to me as I read through the avalanche of submissions for my anthology "Madonna & Me" -- literally hundreds of essays by women testifying to how Madonna's influence helped them become better, happier, more genuine versions of themselves.
07:17 PM on 03/07/2012
Madonna Rules!
07:11 PM on 03/07/2012
Ok I do like a few of Madonnas songs but as a role model? Im just glad my daughter didnt turn out like her.
07:02 PM on 03/07/2012
I think you need a reality check and get over your little pop 'idols'. The music is fine, but obsessing over it and patterning your life is different. You should never completely lean in idoltry over any music or movie stars.
Sweet Grace
it is what it is...
06:32 PM on 03/07/2012
Obsessing about Madonna at age 20? I can't imagine fighting with my boyfriend over a pop star at age 20! You were really immature.
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lthrnck68
Reading IS
06:11 PM on 03/07/2012
I am NOT a fan of Madonna. She has, at best, mediocre vocal talents. Of course, like most singers, there are one or two songs I will listen to. Having said that, I have to agree that your ex went too far. If you don't like any entertyainer, you say so, but don't go into the hatred like this guy did.
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Poison Snake
05:58 PM on 03/07/2012
Although I like Madonna I can't say I'm a huge fan. I mean in the sense that I like her music but didn't get so heavily into her that I could call myself a fan lol But I do love this article. I've had similar experiences and only recently learned just how some small differences like this can affect any relationship after getting into "Kpop" and finding out just how ingrained fandom can be in a person's personality... the author really hit the nail on the head with this one: "His inability to accept Madge for all the complicated intricacies of who she was indicated that when it came down to it, he couldn't accept me, either."

I never went through the "fangirl phase" growing up, so it's still new to me.. but that really hit home. It really does feel like there's a huge disconnect and they don't really understand me if they're derisive about my musical and cultural tastes. Music is, overall, meant to inspire and touch a person more deeply than just a surface level. The better artists make a real connection with their audience and people are fans because of that connection - because the artist is expressing things they themselves feel. It really can be a "make it or break it" point in a relationship despite how odd it sounds. lol
01:38 AM on 03/08/2012
Yes, I agree; sometimes our relationships with our idols (even if those idols are celebrities -- singers, actors, writers, whatever) run much deeper and carry more weight to simply be written off as the crushes of "fangirls."
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Poison Snake
04:04 AM on 03/08/2012
I couldn't agree more and I've noticed a lot of people can't differentiate between "a crush" and "a high amount of respect", too - whether it's for that individual (idol/celeb/singer/actor/writer/etc.) or for what they're doing and how they're doing it. It's just really surreal because like I said, I never really went through the "fangirl" phase growing up and I'm hitting that stage in my life pretty late. LOL Falling into that mindset and stereotype as an adult rather than a teenager really put more things about it into perspective for me and made me see aspects of it I'd never considered before. I myself even scoffed at the idea of it when I was younger.. so I even understand "the other side" as it were, but it's one of those "hindsight is 20/20" things now. I truly wish more people could/would experience that and what this article is talking about.
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JackieSmith890
05:06 PM on 03/07/2012
this man sounds like a nightmare. thank goodness she got away from him.

males in general can't stand strong women because they're threatening to the fragile male ego. it's sad but true.