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Laura M. Artis Headshot

Looking for a Mate? Sign on the Dotted Line

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I want to be drunk in love. There, that's how we start this verbal dance.

During this past Valentine's Day while people worry about which restaurants to confirm reservations, I remained focused on attending Couture Fashion Week, cleaning out the closet, working on the blog, and spending time with the besties -- while the song "Single Ladies" seemed to echo from every speaker imaginable -- I get it, Beyonce.

Oh yes, that's right, and I was going through a situation with this dude. We met on New Year's Eve and I thought was a good catch. But it turned to be complete propaganda because he has yet to pull the trigger to take it to the next level --but there is a smidgen of hope that it works out.

On second thought, Eff that -- let's be honest. It's done.

Aside from everything, a visit to my parents was the perfect remedy to cure the blues and it also served as a source of enlightenment for this particular blog. While sitting with my Dad as he prepares his lunch on a cold Saturday afternoon, we somehow dive into the subject of relationships -- perfect timing.

As Dad chows down on a sandwich he deposits his wisdom and proposes the only way people work and stay together (using him and my Mom as an example) is because we have to form a business partnership.

Huh?! Immediately, I wanted to interrupt him and proclaim, "Noooo -- marriage is a big fiesta shared by two people, filled with confetti and party hats everyday until the end, isn't it? "
How did we move from the bedroom to boardroom?

Deep down I knew he was right and he was kind enough to share some advice listed below:

1. Don't go into a relationship assuming and having the desire to change the other person.

2. Make a list of the flaws -- not the positive things. The good things are what attracted you to the other person initially, so worry only about the flaws. These two steps are critical and then once the answers are completed, then you are free to move on to numero tres.

3. Ask yourself, how many of these flaws are you comfortable and willing to compromise on and can live with? This is the part where fantasy and reality battle it out and the journey of fulfillment begins.

That's it?! What about the millions of love books and magazines that are pouring over the bookshelf that I'm supposed to read?

Though I always appreciate everything my dad teaches and his approach to dispensing information in a calm and logical manner, and sometimes we may never see eye to eye on certain topics, one thing we both can agree on is the differences in the way we view things via our respectful generation gaps.

Relationships are not the same when he met my Mom -- or when my grand-parents were alive, and it's even more diluted now with my generation. This time around we feed on instant gratification; instead of sticking it out to the end and working things out, the immediate reaction is to throw our hands in the air and move on to the illusion of greener pastures.

So, perhaps a relationship is truly a partnership made in heaven. However, in order for it to mature into everything we hoped and wished it could be, it takes a perfect dynamic duo to persevere until the very end.

That said, yes, it is very important to carefully select the person best suited and who is willing to invest infinite time to give you exactly what you want and maintain a long lasting commitment -- regardless of what happens. And until then, the search marches on for the perfect merger and acquisition in the name of love.