Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Season 5, Episode 13 of The CW's "Gossip Girl," entitled "G.G."
For the first time in recent memory, this week's milestone episode of "Gossip Girl" finally recaptured the confident plotting and razor sharp shocks of its first two seasons. "G.G." honored the 99 episodes that preceded it while setting the board for some intriguing new plot moves. Not only did we finally learn the true identity of our titular gossip-monger, but Blair and Louis' ill-conceived wedding played out in the most realistic way possible, leading to moments that should satisfy both the vocal Chair and Dair factions.
Since there's so much to discuss, let's jump straight into the top five most memorable moments from the 100th episode.
1. Georgina is Gossip Girl -- And It Feels So Good!
I always had a sneaking suspicion that the destructive, Serena-obsessed socialite was our mystery blogger, and really, was there any better choice? Sure, she has some serious sociopathic tendencies -- and now, she even has a poor, unsuspecting child -- but nobody wreaks havoc like Georgina, except for her virtual alter ego. She definitely managed to pay back Blair for stranding her in rehab, bible camp and Belarus. Even if her plan to expose Chuck's feelings for Blair didn't destroy the wedding, it certainly destroyed any chance she might've had for a happily ever after with her linguistically-challenged prince. Apparently, Georgina's now set up shop in Brooklyn (how the mighty have fallen) so I suspect we'll see a little more of our wicked narrator getting her hands dirty in the second half of the season.
2. Blair Loves Chuck, Chuck Loves Blair, Blair Marries ... Louis?
After years of misdeeds, Chuck has finally grown into a man worthy of love (and believe me, I still haven't forgotten his tendency towards attempted sexual assault, even if the "Gossip Girl" writers have). But it was disheartening to learn that Blair was still more interested in playing martyr than giving herself a chance at happiness. Forget Dan and Nate's horror that Chuck is the most honest man they know; I think it's far more unnerving that Serena has become the lone voice of reason. There's probably some truth to her observation that Blair is afraid of everything falling apart with Chuck again and is hiding behind a convenient pact with God so as to protect herself from further heartbreak; it's so frustrating to watch the girl continually trying to self-sabotage. It's obvious that Chuck isn't going to give up on her now that he knows her only reservation is her own superstition (and cowardice); but how can he undo the Catholic guilt and prove that a reunion won't result in Chuck being struck by a holy lightning bolt? If I had more confidence in the writing staff, I would wonder whether it's Blair's residual guilt about losing the baby that's driving some of her hesitation, but since the show glossed over her mourning period, we were never really given an insight into her psyche that might now explain all of her neuroses. Fingers crossed that the show will eventually attempt to tackle that.
3. Blair's Getaway Dan
Just when Chair fans were likely rejoicing that our newly-crowned Princess B had come to her senses and called Chuck to save her from the implications of a loveless marriage, Dan showed up in the wedding car to sweep her off her feet instead (classic "Gossip Girl" misdirection -- which is only fitting for the 100th episode). Did Blair's call to Dan have anything to do with Louis' revelation that Lonely Boy was the one who wrote those touching wedding vows? I'm sure the writers want us to think so, but judging by Blair's heartfelt advice that Serena should tell Humphrey the truth about her feelings, I honestly don't think that Blair feels anything for him but friendship at this point. The narrative may prove me wrong, and perhaps the writers will want to build that love triangle further in upcoming episodes, but certainly, in this episode, I believe that her feelings for him are platonic, and that she simply knows (through their weeks of hidden church rendezvous and secret movie screenings) that she can trust him with anything. Of course, being such close friends is an excellent basis for romance -- just ask Monica and Chandler -- but I doubt a hook-up with Humphrey is the first thing on Blair's mind after being manipulated into marriage by an evil monarch.
4. Serena Finds Serenity
Forget about her insight into Blair's psyche and her wise decision to inform Chuck about "the pact" -- Serena proved that she's finally (and it's long overdue) grown up enough to be honest about her feelings with Dan, and, more than that, not to expect anything from him in return. Serena's worst fear is probably a Dan and Blair relationship, but she behaved with surprising grace this week. I do wonder how she'll react when it emerges that Blair ran off with Dan -- just as Chuck predicted -- depending on how things play out next episode; but I always approve when S displays a little more self-awareness than we're used to, since she's probably the character who has evolved the least out of our core fivesome.
5. Nate Needs A Date
If Archibald had put his mind -- and his Rolodex -- to it, I'm certain he could've found a perfectly suitable date to Blair's wedding, but his new-found introspection seems to further emphasize the writers' desire to give him an actual storyline this season. On a meta level, the reason why he's been lacking in love all these years is simply because the writers have been content to shove him with such duds, but his ex-girlfriend's wedding was certainly an appropriate occasion to make him question his life choices. I'm not sure that stalking a waitress (who just so happens to be the real Charlie Rhodes, gasp!) was the best way to pursue a meaningful relationship; their affair was a touchstone of the first season, and after 100 episodes, I think it would be fitting to see things come full circle and for their bond to be explored in more depth. Sadly, she still seems too fixated on Dan for that to be a viable option, but trying to get any of these characters to date outside their incestuous social circle is always going to be doomed to failure, because we're not invested in any of the peripheral temps that are rolled in.
What was your favorite moment in "Gossip Girl's" 100th episode? Chair and Dair fans, were you satisfied with your chosen couple's scenes, or do you think the writers alienated the audience by trying to satisfy everyone? Do you believe that Georgina is truly Gossip Girl, or is the show setting up another classic bait-and-switch? Were you as thrilled by Wallace Shawn's epic "Princess Bride" mention as I was? Weigh in below!
"Gossip Girl" airs Mondays at 8 p.m. EST on The CW.