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Lauren Fleishman

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Love Ever After

Posted: 02/13/2012 12:28 pm

For three years I have been photographing and interviewing couples who have been married for over 50 years. The project was inspired by a love letter that my grandfather wrote to my grandmother during World War II. The letter spoke of a young love, the type of love filled with joy and hopeful expectations for the life they were about to embark on together. It connected me to my grandfather, and his 59 year marriage, in a way that I hadn't been able to connect to him in life. By seeing his youth, through his love of my grandmother, I was able to more clearly see him.

I photograph these couples as a way to preserve their stories and to illuminate our universal experience of love. From the very beginnings of my career, I've sought out society's unseen population as a way to break down our own perceptions. I learned that photography, with it's unique ability to capture very intimate moments and details, could allow me to challenge perceived barriers between the viewer and the subject.

Most of the couples in my project were photographed in their own homes. They were asked questions like, Where was your first date? When did you know you were in love? Does love change over the years? You see them in their mirrors, standing in their living room, sitting on the antique couches that have been in the family for decades. The environment establishes a connection to the story. The quotes, which come directly from their own interview, give the photographs a voice and speak to our own collective histories. I am the photographer but it's they who are writing their own love stories through the recorded interviews.

We sit down and have the interview first before I take the photograph. I wait for the right moment. Maybe it's the way the husband looks at his wife, the way that she holds him, or maybe it's in the way one rests on the other's shoulder. This is the language that speaks of fifty years of marriage. This is love that can't be forced or faked. It is the connection and the portraits become evidence to support it.

I hope that this project illuminates the love that is all around us. On this Valentine's Day, please share this project with someone you love.

2012-02-13-loveeverafter1.jpg

"You really don't think about getting older. First of all, you're aging together and when you see a person constantly you don't notice big changes. Like you don't notice, oh you're getting a little wrinkle here and tomorrow you say oh it's a little deeper. No those are things that just happen. You dont pay attention to those things. You dont realize it.. really . You dont realize that you're.. I mean I'm not thinking everyday, oh my husband's 83 years old he's gonna be 84. Oh my goodness, I'm married to an old man. And I hope he feels that way too."
--Angie Terranova, Staten Island, New York (pictured above with husband Gino Terranova)

 
 
 
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02:10 PM on 02/19/2012
I love that story! I have been asking long time married couples what their secret is, for quite a few years now.
So I have some really good advice and secrets for life long love & marriage. I feel that staying married till death do you part to be lifes most important,yet respectful and oh so comendable accomplishments.
Some have brought tears to my eyes,chills down my spine, a smile on my face, and a warmth with hope to my heart. Thats all I want in my own life is a TRUE 100% commitment 100% of the time, its that simple really but it seems to be one of lifes hardest accomplishments and taken advantage off,or not taken seriously, far to often.
07:31 AM on 02/19/2012
SWEET WILLIAM.we've been married 51 years this year.how she has put up with me all these years amazes me.11 years in the service,then getting out and becoming a rocket engineer for 24 years and all the while she was raising our 2 daughters,going to college and working full time.we loved to camp and water ski in our spare time.we finally retired in 2004 and moved to the mountains but not too far from our extended family.we now have the time to really enjoy one anothers company.
01:06 AM on 02/19/2012
What happened to the men who would go out of their way to pen a love letter and miss and pine for somebody far away? Instead we get spouses who are video game, porn or infidelity addicts who don't hesitate to substitute their spouse if they change with time without taking a good long look at themselves first. When did love become so shallow and empty? Sure the proclamations are still there and the big events but no follow through or love actions to back those feelings up. Instead we get taken for granted while our spouse reassures us that they still love us.
12:44 AM on 02/19/2012
I would like to add as my wife and I age we really do not see ourselves as other sees us, we really see the same people that we seen 46 years ago. Though our illnesses have impaired us to a degree, the heart remains the same and right now we have each other and CHRIST in our lives...
12:33 AM on 02/19/2012
I have been married twice . ny first marriage was three years and brief. My second seems like a keeper. We have been married now hiting 46 years, we have been up and down and have made our mistakes. It never hurts to say , I'm sorry and making up sometimes can be fun. Marriage is not to be taken lightly, if one realizes the LORD meant this to be a life commitment, yes religion is part of the ceramony, It is really up to the two people to some times tolerate and forgive and sometimes loose a little bit of the pride they have, Being able to share the good times as well as the bad and any couple that works toge4ther on the marriage will succeed in there efforts. I have a hoticed that in these later years that my wife and I have grown closer and depend on each other for our every day living. This is our reward, never being alone, knowing love and remainimg koyal through thick and thin. The sad part is knowing some day the good Lord will take one of us and the other will be alone, except for our comforter in JESUS CHRIST. And this my friend is a successful marriage.
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LindaK9975
11:20 PM on 02/18/2012
There is much to learn from those who have lived and loved a long time. With age comes a richness of experiences. When I was young, I sometimes dismissed the wisdom of my elders; now I seek the wisdom of my elders. I have been happily married to the love of my life for 36 years and hope we both have the opportunity to keep on loving each other for many years to come.
photo
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JC2009USA
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09:13 PM on 02/18/2012
Lauren is the project going to turn into a book? It should. I would buy it in a heart beat and what a joy to see a photo like above...it bespeaks so much about love, a life shared, ups, downs, and common ground in the middle...and longevity, not giving up when it gets hard, true beauty. Thank you for sharing and I truly hope this turns into a book or an online series...
06:53 PM on 02/18/2012
It's not only wrinkiles that cause problems!
05:41 PM on 02/18/2012
soo cute. I hope I have that.
05:36 PM on 02/18/2012
Learn the phrase "Yes,Dear" early and use it often.
09:21 AM on 02/16/2012
That's cute
nice story