"Viva Hollywood!!": What a Caliente Mess!

The fact that I ended up sitting in front of my tube watching VH1 at 10:30 PM Sunday night had a lot more to do with the finale of Rock of Love 2 and a lot less to do with the premiere of Viva Hollywood!! co-hosted by Carlos Ponce, VH1's latest attempt at its viciously entertaining "celebreality" lineup. The show, a contest where the participants vie for the attention of judges by learning choreographed hair-grabbing, bitch-slapping, and "How could you sleep with my mother?" fight scenes is, in my opinion, a step back for Latinos in the American entertainment industry.

To help put things in perspective, I'll tell you that I'm a third-generation American of Puerto Rican descent. Although I myself didn't grow up watching Latin variety shows like "Sabado Gigante" and the infamous telenovelas that dominate Latin American TV stations, I have cousins who did and I was exposed to these shows enough to know what they are and what they are not. They are overly dramatic and somewhat ridiculous while staying consistently entertaining. There is a reason they are so highly rated and why, although I hardly speak Spanish, I find myself glued to the passion of the actors. What they are not is a joke, which is exactly what "Viva Hollywood" has made them out to be.

The first thing that boggled me when the show opened to its first challenge (committing the sin of passion) was hearing the dialogue spoken in English. Excuse me?! The heart and soul of telenovelas lie in the sensuousness and intensity of the Spanish language. For example: "Tu mama es un gran puta del mundo!" English translation: "Your mother is the slut of the world." Eh...The affect is so not there. And to make matters worse the show is victim to adjectives like "red hot", "fiery" and "spicy" in its descriptions throughout the show and on the VH1 website. If it weren't for Carlos Ponce's consistent and adorable smile (is it painted on?) making an appearance every few minutes, I may have switched the channel right there and then!

Lastly, there are the contestants who hail from all corners of the US and one from Mexico where many telenovelas are derived. You would think these actors come well seasoned with expertise...wrong! The majority of them act so badly it hurts my teeth, even though I'm partial to Vinci Alonso who played the same bad boy role (just a model instead of an actor -- same difference!) on MTV's "8th & Ocean" in 2006. And it's no secret that telenovelas are widely known for their hot actress leads. After watching the intro to "Viva Hollywood!!" my boyfriend turned to me and asked, "Where are the hot girls?" After throwing a pillow at his face, I agreed; you could find hotter chicks on the shore of Seaside Heights (that's not saying much).

Americans have been exposed to such a high standard of Latino actors with the likes of America Ferrera, Javier Bardem... and America Ferrera (she's so good I count her twice), that it's no wonder how seeing these untalented people is sure to cause disillusionment. How could they even fathom there being Latinos who can hold both Spanish and English accents perfectly after viewing this macabre? Of course they are going to overlook the gifted actors found in independent films like "Liberty Kid" and "Raising Victor Vargas," or the sketch comedy group Room 28 whose sophisticated comedy is unmatched in the Latino sector (shameless plug for my friends, hi guys!). How can I blame them?

When the show came to an end, and the contestants were forced to degradingly beg themselves out of elimination, I sat contemplating how VH1 had managed to make a farce of a television business taken very seriously outside of mainstream America. Needless to say, despite enforcing stereotypes and shining light on a pool of bad actors and being lead by a judge (Maria Conchita Alonso) who lost her mojo in the early 90s, the show will bring in ratings. Because when it comes down to it, America loves humiliation no matter how badly it sounds when an accent gone wrong falls on our ears.

Comments

[JeffmChicago]

Wow I was surprised to see an article written about this cheesy show. But oh what a fun cheesy show it is, indeed. I'm one of those advid tv watchers that likes to channel surf. I typically stop on Telemundo just to see the caliente latinas e latinos. I don't speak a lick of spanish but I like looking at the high campy drama of the soaps, talk shows, lip synching musicals and the oh so beautiful Latin people.

I was happy to see Maria Conchito Alonso again. I always wondered what happen to her. She was a fine actress back in the day. I even thought she would become the next Rita Moreno. Ms. Alonso age is not hollywood appropriate though, so therefore that cosmetic surgery look about her and her gig on Viva Hollywood. Ya gotta get any job that will put you out there so don't hate her for working. Same goes for cutey Carlos Ponce. Nice work when you can get it?

People don't take this reality tv show to heart. Take it for what it is. A campy bad acting eye candy of a show. I had fun watching it besides Latin people are CALIENTE!!

[ThatsNotFunny]

Would a version based on US soap operas be any less cheesy?

[LeBelAge]

There already is a US soap opera contest on Soap Net. They don't degrade the show, actors or audience watching it.

I'm embarassed that Latinos like Carlos Ponce and Maria Conchita Alonso are associated with that hot mess.