THE BLOG
05/15/2014 12:40 pm ET Updated Jul 15, 2014

The Real Reason Mothers Never Get Anything Done

Lauren Jackman

It's 9 a.m. and I've just put Bubby down for his morning sleep. I reckon I have about an hour and a half before he wakes. I'm excited!

I have plans... a new book to get lost in whilst I sit by the fire drinking hot chocolate. I bought a romance novel last week and I've been too busy to start it. I can't wait -- I love a new book.

But before I venture to my spot by the fireplace, I must take a shower. I haven't washed my hair for three days, as I've been showering while Bub is awake, so I've been super-quick. I jump in the shower and blissfully wash my hair for the first time that week.

After the shower, I notice a whole pile of dirty washing. Ah, I think. I'll put that on now and hang it out this afternoon. So I go downstairs and put the washing in the laundry. On my way through the kitchen, I notice dirty dishes not washed up from the night before. Must do that. While I'm packing the dishwasher, I boil the kettle -- one step closer to my hot chocolate.

Once the dishwasher is packed and started, it occurs to me I was going to cook up some vegetables for Bubby's lunch this morning. Given how long it takes me to chop up everything while he is awake, I think that I will quickly chop the veggies and put them on the stove and then they're ready for lunch. I flick the kettle on again (just to make sure the water is hot enough) and open the fridge to get the veggies out. Typical; there's no milk, we only have soy and full cream (yuck!). I pull out some long life light milk from the pantry and pop it in the fridge. I pull out the veggies, chop them and put them on the stove. I boil the kettle for a third time thinking, surely, I will make it this time.

Finally, I make my hot chocolate. I pull the light milk from the fridge and scoop a couple of spoonfuls of Milo into my cup (and one into my mouth -- yes I still do this as an adult!)

I sit by the fireplace and realize the fire is out. Great! I run out into the garage and grab some sticks, wood and fire lighters. On my way back into the house, I power up my laptop. I uploaded my research survey last night and I'm interested in seeing how many participants I recruited overnight. While the fire is catching, I check my stats -- they look good. I take a drink of my hot chocolate. Blah! I made it with soy milk by accident. Clearly, I'm distracted this morning! The fire is still catching, so I quickly check my blog stats (they look fine), check my email (ohh, there's one from hubby -- I'd better reply to that) and check Facebook (a couple of new comments I need to follow up). Then as I distractedly scroll through news.com I hear it... a cry over the baby monitor.

Oh god, surely he's not awake yet, I've only just put him down. I haven't even started my book yet. I check the time -- 10:20? Surely not. I close the laptop and sit down by the fire. For some reason, I think that if I do what I said I was going to do in the first place, the baby won't wake up.

But I hear it again... another cry. And another. Damn it, he's awake! I'm such an idiot. I do this every time! I didn't even open my book. I think about what I've done the last hour and a half. I moved the dirty washing from one room to another, I half-cooked lunch, half-cleaned most of the dishes but made more dirty ones in the meantime, drank a sh*tty hot chocolate and just about put the fire out, again! Oh well, at least I showered today. The book, however, will have to wait for another day.

Does this sound like you? What do you never get a chance to do because you're too busy?

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