01/28/2009 02:26 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Things I Heard McCain Compared to in Post-Debate Analysis This Week

1. Garden gnome
2. Dancing lizard
3. Grumpy old man
4. Angry troll
5. Axe murderer
6. Manchurian candidate
7. Vomiting monster-dragon
8. Grimace, the McDonald's character
9. Person in obvious gastrointestinal distress
10. Pile of mashed potatoes with teeth

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