Every woman I know who has a job and is a parent has to deal every day with making enough time for both. I never really am able to do it. I just keep stealing from one part of my life to give to the other. (I figure by the time my daughter is in college, I'll be caught up.) Balancing it all is definitely one of the biggest sources of stress in my life, and one way I deal with stress is to write about it. Here's my song of Balancing Work and Motherhood. I'd love to know if you find something of yourself in my experiences.
-Laurie
Balancing Work and Motherhood
The journalist asks me, "How do you do it?" My answer is "Not very well."Each day is different And when I think I've found a rhythm All the plans I've devised And so carefully scheduledGet all shot to hell.
So I'll take a taxi, 'Cause I might get there fasterBut the subway would cost me much less. . . Ugh, the trains are delayed!Now what if there's traffic?Either way, half my daysAre spent out of breath
Running from one thingLate to anotherLooked away for two minutes, and now there's a line!Forgot to bring lunch again (Mine, not hers)Slow down, slow downSlow downSlowDown...I'll get thereJust not on time.
Talking with BrianAnd planning for sittersWho's home today,You or me?That feeling of panicThat hits when I think,"I forgot to make sure she was free."
All my years of therapy And yet I still clingTo the guilt I feel when I'm not there. It's such a cliché but I find myself thinking,"I wish I'd been born as a pair."
In some ways it's easier now than it was Lucy's used to me coming and going. She's older, has friends, even tells me "Get out Mom!" but each time it's hard for me KnowingThat I'll miss some of what she was feeling that dayAnd I'll miss hanging out with her too.
Time moves so fast (oy, another cliché!)And there's only so much I can do.
I run my own business.I'm both artist and boss,But pretend I'm a mom who stays home.Then I'm gone on the weekendsOr when we're togetherSpend less time with her than my phone.
So I accept from a colleagueA derisive laugh when I say,"Sorry, I can't make it then." Because I'm picking her up,There's a potluck, class play Or perhaps there's just no school... again.
And I get to spend time with her We read on the couchHer body all snuggled with mine.I breathe her in deeply So I won't forget Just how good that feels Every time.
(Then I notice that I have a pile of new messages and texts and I haven't made dinner or taken the dog out. When did it get to be 6:30 p.m.? When did she turn 8 years old?)
So I stay up too lateDoing work, sending emailI'm addicted to "just one more thing..."I haven't yet found A different way, a better way Or just a wayTo fit everything in
I spent all that time getting ready for birth And I think of my good friend, who said,"Remember Laurie, this is just the curtain rising, The real show is what lies ahead."
Ok, so there's no rehearsal for life (But I'd hoped as a parent things that I've learned would help)And they certainly sometimes do.Yet often I catch myself being the child, 'Cause I still want to be mothered too.
Laurie will release her first Christmas album, "A Laurie Berkner Christmas" on October 30th as well as a NOOK ebook, "Candy Cane Jane."