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Laurie Giles

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Red Flags That You Hired The Wrong Divorce Lawyer

Posted: 07/12/11 12:30 PM ET

Divorce cases are often won or lost because of the lawyer involved. Are there some obvious and not so obvious red flags that you hired the wrong lawyer? Absolutely. Here, are some to consider:

  1. Unresponsiveness. One obvious red flag waves when telephone messages or email are repeatedly ignored. If your lawyer doesn't respond within a reasonable time, you can assume one of two things. 1) The lawyer is too busy to give proper attention to your case, or 2) the lawyer does not care about you nor your case.
  2. Excessive billing. Bills for legal services that seem unreasonably high may be a red flag that you are being overcharged or charged for services not actually performed. Signs of excessive billing include charging for attempted phone calls, charging for every contact regardless of the content or length of the communication. Some lawyers bill for time spent by support staff taking messages or making photo copies. Check billing statements for accuracy and reasonableness.
  3. Clueless of the specifics of your case. While many divorce issues are similar, no two cases are identical. Lawyers have an ethical obligation to appreciate and understand the specifics of each case. When you are asked the same questions repeatedly, chances are your lawyer does not have a grasp on your individual needs.
  4. Unversed about local court practices and procedures. Every jurisdiction has unique procedural nuances. Unfamiliarity with local practices and procedures suggests limited experience.
  5. Lacks compassion. In all likelihood, your divorce is not the only matter your attorney is working on. However, you should be treated as more than a case file number. There should be a showing of compassion.
  6. Inappropriate emotional investment. There is a fine line between empathy and becoming emotionally invested. Lawyers should never cross the line. Be wary if your lawyer behaves as though they are a party to the divorce.
  7. Condescending. While you may be unfamiliar with the legalities of divorce, you should not be spoken to or treated in a condescending manner. Be aware of the manner in which your attorney interacts with you. Being treated in a rude or condescending manner is never appropriate.
  8. Bullying. During the divorce process numerous life altering decisions are made. Many of these decisions will affect you for a very long time to come. Although improper and wrong, some unscrupulous divorce attorneys bully or shame clients into making decisions, decisions which are often wrong. Don't fall prey to this tactic, decisions you make during the divorce process will have long term affects and consequences.
  9. Antagonistic toward opposing counsel. Opposing counsel will invariably disagree and often become quite contentious. However, when disagreements escalate and become personal between the lawyers the focus shifts away from the clients. Lawyer should put their personal differences aside and keep the focus on the clients.
  10. Lacks candor. Lawyers are obligated to present and discuss all reasonable settlement proposals received from the opposition. As a way to drag the process out and keep fee clock ticking, some lawyers will without consulting the client, unilaterally refuse offers of settlement.
  11. Your instincts are perhaps the biggest red flag of all. Trust that inner voice. If you think something is amiss, it probably is.
 

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Divorce cases are often won or lost because of the lawyer involved. Are there some obvious and not so obvious red flags that you hired the wrong lawyer? Absolutely. Here, are some to consider: Unre...
Divorce cases are often won or lost because of the lawyer involved. Are there some obvious and not so obvious red flags that you hired the wrong lawyer? Absolutely. Here, are some to consider: Unre...
 
 
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01:35 PM on 08/09/2011
Divorce cases are "won or lost." What does that mean? Does anyone really win when a family is dissolved? And while some lawyers might find it flattering to think that they can control the outcome of divorce, but that simply is not the truth. Divorce can be painful and difficult, but it should not be viewed as a win/lose proposition. It is not a game- it is a development for a family with serious repercussions, but those repercussions do not have to be fatal. One commentator has already suggested mediationi as an alternative and Iwant to suggest collaborative practice as another alternative. In collaborative practice, each party has his or her own attorney and they all work together to identify the needs and interests of children and the adults and then work to find solutions that best meet those needs and interests. Other resources, including mental health professionals and financial neutrals, can also be included. Collaborative practice may not be an approach that is appropriate for all couples, but it is one way of approaching divorce that looks to the future rather than punishing spouses for the past.
03:43 PM on 07/17/2011
Divorce is an industry. Divorce lawyers are running businesses. For a business to survive, it must be profitable. Divorce clients (more accurately, their assets) are the source of profit for divorce lawyers. In the current economy, profit is more difficult to come by.

Remember at all times as a divorce client that you are a source of profit for your divorce lawyer.

To the divorce lawyer, you the client will come and go (unless you can afford to continue to file motions for you. What you have paid in legal fees will not be available to you later as you try to (re)establish your life; it won't be available for your children, who may need orthodontic care, school/college tuition, etc.

One of the best comments that I have ever seen in this forum recently outlined the fundamental point of how the divorce industry works and (though with no citation) I'll repeat the point here:

In a divorce, the marital assets are divided into two portions -- the portion that will go to the divorce lawyers/divorce industry and the portion that the divorcing spouses (and their children) will keep.
05:44 PM on 07/14/2011
UNRESPONSIVENESS- Attys are usually in court in the a.m. & appointments in the afternoons & some have trials lasting several days. 48 hours is reasonable for non-emergency issues. Best way to ensure contact is to schedule a telephone appointment.
BILLING- Always read your fee agreement. Have a clear understanding of billing regarding emails/phone calls. Keep fees down by saveing questions to send 1 email/call. Involving the attorney in personal conflicts with the other side will sky-rocket your fee bill. An attorney should never bill you to discuss billing ques.
SPECIFICS- Your attorney should know the specifics of your case at a hearing or conference. Knowledge of every detail all of the time is not realistic.
COMPASSION- You have hired the attorney to be your lawyer - not your friend. Expecting compassion is reasonable, but do not expect a therapist.
04:33 PM on 07/14/2011
What seems to be missing from this discussion is mention of the better path to divorce: Work with a certified family mediator. With help from a trained, neutral professional, in a confidential setting, many ex-couples can negotiate custody, visitation, child support, spousal support, and property distribution themselves. Paying one mediator, especially a mediator who is not an attorney, is MUCH less expensive than paying two attorneys to do your negotiating. You should still have an attorney review your draft agreement before you sign it.
Another advantage of mediation is that it puts you and your ex on the same team, making a plan together. If you have minor children, it is important to have a good foundation for constructive co-parenting. Adversarial litigation makes you enemies. That is not good for your kids.
01:47 PM on 07/14/2011
Yes, it is also a very good idea when you're interviewing an attorney whom you may want to represent you to ask questions. One that I asked is, "What do you feel is a reasonable amount of time in which to respond to my phone calls should I have any questions?"
01:10 PM on 07/14/2011
My divorce lawyer, a female who is now a judge in the Eastern Panhandle of West Virginia, is the perfect example of the 'good 'ol' boy' (girl) network of lawyering in WV. She was personal friends with the opposing lawyer AND the presiding judge in my case, & the divorce papers were written up so poorly that even 10+ years after the settlement, there are still 'open issues' left to be resolved. Of course, nothing can be done to hold her accountable; that would be unthinkable in a state where lawyers rule the legislature, & run things 'their way'. I took a law class some thirty years ago from a Harvard-trained professor who quoted us his favorite saying concerning the subject: 'The law is an ass.' How true, & how sad that it remains so to this day, & will quite far into the foreseeable future.
12:19 PM on 07/14/2011
I had a divorce attorney tell me not to worry about coming by his office to sign some paperwork, because my beautiful wife could handle it. I am remarried, my x wife decided to be a bear about childsupport and alimony.....again!!! Well, my attorney Bob Spence from Smithfield, North Carolina seemed to be quite interested in my wife coming to see him without me present. I showed up that day to handle to sittuation and when he saw me he asked, "what are you doing here, I thought your wife was coming." I asked him if that was a problem he said it was not he just did not want me to have to miss work. Yeah right!!!!! Well I was sure to let the people that work in his office know about that one.
09:56 AM on 07/14/2011
This is an absolute primer for hiring the right attorney.........great article ! I would also suggest that you get some "referrals" from folks that have been down the path already.......ask them these questions about the experience they had with their attorney......you can get information to help decide who would be best for you, and limit the field !
09:21 AM on 07/14/2011
1st sign your divorce lawyer sucks> The fact that they are a divorce lawyer!!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
I am just saying
Don't take MY money & buy YOU stuff I can't afford
08:08 AM on 07/14/2011
In my particular experience, the first lawyer I hired started out all gung ho; but when we sat down with her and her lawyer he started telling me what I would and would not do. More than once I called for a time out and asked him which side he was working for. The last straw was when he showed up for our first court appearanc about 2 minutes before we started. Therefore I had no time to ask questions or make cmments about what was going to happen in court. I was clearly getting the shaft and naturally he already had his money 'up front'. I talked to a wealthy friend of mine who had just finished her divorce and asked who the best lawyer around was. {When 'shopping' for lawyers she initially 'hired' every divorce lawyer in the area to limit her ex in his choices due to conflict of interest.} She told me the one she actually used and highly recommended them. Naturally the cost was very high but they did exactly what I wanted them to do and quickly. Within 48 hours after the first phone call to them, the case had taken a complete 180 and I got exactly what I was asking or and had been told by my first lawyer there was no possible way I could do so. When all was said and done, I had total custody of my daughter and didn't owe my ex anything.
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Mark Newman
06:57 AM on 07/14/2011
To those out there that have complained about divorce lawyers - maybe you should read this-
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simzillyjp
Up, Up & Away
02:21 AM on 07/14/2011
What Lawyer does NOT do any of these things?
02:18 AM on 07/14/2011
another friend of mine went on an appointment that her new divorce attorney had set up... to discuss facts of my friend's case..... as they began their conversation, the lawyer put her elbows on her desk, raised up out of her seat & got up in my friend's face & said.... "...this is what I want you to do........ go get me all your money...... pawn your jewelry, sell what you can, borrow from your friends & relatives & get your dad to take out a second mortgage on his house.........bring me all of it & I will represent you. My friend looked at her & said you haven't asked me any facts of the case & you haven't even told me how much you charge. The lawyer said... a lot.

That lawyer is now a judge.
01:58 AM on 07/14/2011
a friend of mine received a bill from his divorce attorney that had a charge that should not have been on his bill...... my friend called his attorney & spent less than 10 minutes on the phone with him in an attempt to correct the error on his bill...... the next month, my same friend received a bill in the mail charging him $100.00 for the phone call to his attorney in which they only discussed the attorney's error on his bill.... go figure
01:26 AM on 07/14/2011
Recently I was in an auto accident (not my fault and I sustained 4 broken bones). I knew I had a winning case. So I contacted a bunch of personal accident attorneys and told every one of them I was "interviewing" for a personal injury attorney. In a course of 6 months and without exception every attorney I made an appointment with was late for my interview. This was not a good first impression especially when your lawsuit (which is winable) will be making money for them also. So I might recommend that before you hire an attorney, Interview them and if they're late for the interview, do what I did, Write them a letter declining their services and tell them why. You would never hire someone for a job if they're late for the interview.
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attydallas3
03:20 AM on 07/14/2011
Well, I would have been there in an instant for that serous of injuries, but sometimes good personal injury lawyers are busy, and are busy b/c they are good. How did you handle the fact they were late -- were you somewhat understanding or peeved? We also look for red flags in clients, no matter how good their case, which tell us they may be "probelmatic" or a real PITA down the line. I would be concerned about a potential client who turned down several lawyers over several months of looking. Sounds like they might be the type who will never be happy with their counsel no matter what they do for them.
09:28 AM on 07/14/2011
Lawyers making excuses for another lawyers, so funny they stick together like wolves.Just be on time its called common courtesy. Lawyers sometimes seem to get the relationship backwards, the lawyer works for the client., not the other way around.
04:57 PM on 07/14/2011
You're correct, sometimes clients can be problematic. Sure wish you resided in my State! I think I would have liked you.
05:35 AM on 07/14/2011
My son is a very busy attorney with numerous referrals from other lawyers. You state that your case was "winable", but if you were not wearing a seatbelt, you would lose. My son never accepts cases where the person was not wearing a seatbelt, because it is a sure loser.