A Tale of Two New Years, and Six Tips for Soloing Through!

When the New Year's countdown begins and everybody else's lips lock I'm once again an awkward seven-year old, left standing alone during musical chairs. Not a good moment, people. But then again, there are the great times....

My sorriest turn-of-the-year (anyway, the one I can remember; glasses of bubbly may have erased worse ones) was a cold, windy night in the 1990s. I had driven into Manhattan to meet a Long Island guy for dinner and a Broadway show. We planned afterwards to experience the ball drop in Times Square. But the thought of standing amid throngs of shivering twenty-somethings in my three-inch spiked boots with someone I hardly knew did not appeal. And what if I had to pee?

So we said "good night" around 11, and I headed north on the Saw Mill Parkway as heavy snow started falling. In minutes the evergreens along the way whitened into wonderland, as I weaved my way around the icy patches, afraid of spinning out of control. Cars were few, of course; at that pre-countdown moment all but the craziest of New Yorkers had the sense to revel in place.

Just as the radio announced that the year was turning, I discerned a road block through the dense curtain of white. A policeman motioned me to stop and roll down my window. He poked his head into my car, close to me. He sported a mustache dappled with snowflakes, and a bemused look.

"Ma'am, Happy New Year." For just a second I imagined someone was going to kiss me at midnight, after all.

"Why are you driving in this blizzard all alone?"

Should I tell him I had left a date? That I wasn't a total loser? Then I realized he only cared if I was inebriated.

"You be careful. It's going to get worse out here." He leaned in closer ... and sniffed.

The first minute of this infant year and I was being inspected for drunk driving! I pulled away through the whiteout and inched my way into the icy night.

My fave New Year's Eve, ever, was the very next year (see, ya never know when you're single). He was hunky, we finished each other sentences, and we not only sang the same songs, we harmonized!

Another snowy night (in those days, not surprisingly), so we hunkered down at my cozy suburban house, by the fireplace. He sprung for the Beluga and the Cristal champagne and I cooked his dream meal: chili, coleslaw and chocolate cake. I missed the ball drop again (we had our own ball), and for breakfast I whipped up shirred eggs and caviar, which we spooned, lingeringly, to each other.

Yes, New Year's can go either way. And if this one is not looking to be your happiest, a few solutions -- some simple, some extreme -- which have worked for me:

-- Turn off the TV for a week before, to avoid the hyper-romantic ads, and keep it off through January first. Catch up on reading or, ta-da, silence.

-- Pretend it's just another night. Go to bed early. Skip standing around at an endless bash filled with clingy couples. ...

-- Plan a pig-out/indulge yourself party for one. I seek the comfort-food nirvana of the KFC bowl, and/or a hot fudge sundae. Appreciate that there is no one to put you down for scarfing like this. I also indulge in a bubble bath with candles, ABBA and the Bee Gees in the background (there's a special kick knowing others would hate my music). I choose a favorite movie, like Two for the Road, with Audrey Hepburn, and have it ready on DVD.. And if I want to read, any Ian McEwan novel is at my side. No TV! If you're up, toast other singles at midnight and feel our collective billions. Then enjoy some Godiva chocolates and the joy of solitude.

-- Host an informal open house for early in the evening, so people can head off to later events if they want, and romance isn't emphasized. Or maybe give a New Year's Day brunch for a few friends so you have something to look forward to; it will also keep you busy the night before.

-- Adopt a pet, and share licks and nuzzles galore all year through.

-- If you've got the big bucks, and if you're really bummed, go somewhere where they don't celebrate New Years at the same time. Like, say, China!

-- And remember, we'll - finally -- be electing a new president! That's worth a toast and a big smile for 2008.

Lea Lane is editor of the lifestyle website www.sololady.com and author of Solo Traveler: Tales and Tips for Great Trips (Fodor's)

Comments

[ignorantwillyharper]

I like the part about electing a new president!

[lungfish]

wow Lea, you sound like my kinda lady... 'can you hear the guns Fernando...."

I am having a solo New Years, my second after my marraige of 18years went belly up...

I intend to spend part of the day freediving on the bottom of a beautiful bay in Hawaii surrounded by dolphins and tropical fish (they are like faeries as they crowd around to watch you)...near my modest apartment...

I'll get some great beers, I don't drink alot so thats a treat, maybe some mahi mahi or Ahi and grill it with some wild rice on the side...

Hang out with my little Hawaiian dog and count my many blessings while wishing everyone of you who read this because you needed it my happiest wishes for all of you and the coming year.

and if any of you really want to contact me, you can reach me through this thread or the many others that I contribute to on Huffpo.

The success of my friends is my success...
Mele Kalikimaki, Aloha AND Mahalo...