This particular Valentine's Day urges me to express something I've wanted to shout from the rooftops for awhile now.
I realize more and more that late love (I'm in my late 60s, my husband is in his early 70s) can be just as romantic as young love. And I think what helps make it especially precious is that you realize, truly, truly realize, that you cannot take it, or life, for granted.
When you reach the later years of your life you probably have lost dear ones, so older love has a bittersweet texture which intensifies every hand-hold, every silly word you share, every giggle or nibble or love note or stolen hug or kiss.
The physical side of older love can be beautiful -- often tossed aside with a nasty "ewww" by younger folks who have no idea, or late-night comedians, or ridiculous, demeaning greeting cards. Wrinkles and flab and scars are the realities of lives fully lived. But there is always candlelight, and the music you remember and dance to, holding each other close. Hands and eyes ever appreciate the beauty of a curve and a smile. And soft lips, and soft words caress more sweetly.
And yes, the wonders of science are there if needed (and by the way, they aren't, always!).
Oh the joy of experience -- knowing what you like and communicating to each other. And the tendency is to give more and take more as well, in part because there is more time to spend doing so. Slow love-making can be exquisite.
When I married my high school sweetheart at the innocent age of 21 we learned together, and fumbled around expecting the moon. But now, two marriages later and in the privilege of late love, I find compassion as well as passion. Acceptance, appreciation, grace and joy. Qualities that I have been lucky enough to age into.
Romance in your later years is not a joke. It is something to hope for. And if you are lucky enough to experience it, cherish it until the horizon of Valentine's Days.
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Jeanne
www.betterafter50.com
Beautifully.and realistically written....even to the eeww:>)
For some reason....we have always been very affectionate and playful in our kitchen....and one day when two of the teen grand kids had two friends over with them (aren't we fortunate that they love to drive over and visit) after the introductions, the friends were "warned" to cough or make noise before going into the kitchen, otherwise they'd see us hugging, or dancing, or kissing...LOL..said, of course, with big grins.....and then we got big hugs from them all.
Children/teens need to see love and affection in all its forms..and ages..in order to develop healthy attitudes, I think. We are open in love and affection with them, and they with us..what better way to leave a legacy?
Tea..66..still in love (love the 2nd time around in all its glory) after 24 years of good and bad, tragic and glorious, and now facing the inexorable march of my husband's early onset Alzheimers....and loving each other as fully as we can:>)
I've discovered that there are men who say things like "You have no idea how much you mean to me" and "Hello, gorgeous, I just love your beautiful eyes."
Or men who wake up in the night and tease and giggle with you then spend an hour making love. Who are concerned when you are sad and won't give up until they know why and then remind you why you love them so much with their caring.
This is the most fortunate way to spend our last years; I'm so very glad that we found each other. It's been the easiest and most comfortable relationship I've ever known, beyond all things fulfilling and just plain happy.
Mike Nobel, Gorham, Maine