Joe's Tears: the Political Power of Paternal Love

Joe Biden did more for the equality of the sexes with his honest display of paternal emotion during the vice presidential debate than Sarah Palin's presence on the executive ticket has or will ever do.

Biden visibly teared up when he rebutted the idea that "just because I am a man" he didn't understand what it was like to wonder whether or not a child would "make it" in recovering from a life-threatening medical situation. At the time, he was likely recalling the tragic automobile accident that killed his wife and daughter and severely injured his two sons. It was an authentic, moving and powerful moment. It was, in fact, the strongest expression of real paternal love we have seen from a public official in recent memory and maybe ever.

By bringing that reality to a national political stage, Biden demonstrated that -- for all of us, not just feminists -- the personal is political, that women alone do not have the sole responsibility for caring about the future of our children and that the concern of fathers is a largely untapped pool of political energy. In his acceptance speech, Barack Obama paved the way for this when he talked about fighting for equal pay for equal work because he wants "my daughters to have the same opportunities as your sons" -- and said this while looking with protective ferocity straight into the camera. He has continued this message on the campaign trail with great impact.

Political equality for women will not come from the minimization or idealization of motherhood -- but rather from recognizing fatherhood as a significant factor in our culture and politics.

Thank you, Joe, for bringing us to the next level and keeping it real.

Read more reactions to the Biden-Palin Vice Presidential debate from HuffPost bloggers

Comments

[Zia]

My father was a very active father, but did not notice my achievements till very late. And when he did, boy that was such a big push for success in everything. That made me a man and a very successful one, I might add.

[Dustee]

My condolence to Senator Biden and family.

[Alethea]

Thanks for the article Leah, that put words to my thoughts exactly. Between Biden and Obama, I think the days of subtle sexism are numbered. Not ultimately because of the Feminist movement, not because of the need to be politically correct, but because men themselves genuinely want the best for their wives, sisters and daughters.

To me being a feminist is all about the woman fighting for equality out of a sense of justice. But the true strides are made when men fight for equality too out of love. There's something very powerful about that. And I suspect that will be the way in which sexism is truly defeated.

I think the same could be said for racism too between whites, blacks and anyone else. Which is why I think the Obama/Biden ticket is so laden with hope. Especially when I see rally after rally of Whites all cheering their hearts out for Barak. And it's not BECAUSE he's Black, but because they think he is genuinely the best man for the job and want to see him succeed. It doesn't get any better than that!!

It's stark contrast to McCain (who won't even fight for veterans benefits or even vote for his own anti-torture bill) or Palin (who won't even fight for women's rights). It's almost like hope and encouragement vs. betrayal and denigration. Betrayal is a strong word, but in this case, I think it's pretty accurate judging from their actions.

Interesting times we live in.

[Leah McElrath Renna - Huffpost Blogger]

I appreciate your comments, Alethea - you laid it out there very eloquently.

[Maxwell511]

Joe's a great guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. He even calls John McCain a great friend. Now, as he mourns his mother-in-law with his wife, not a word of condolence so far from his "friend" John McCain. Joe is understandably off the campaign trail for a few days. Will they call off the "pit-bull" so his wife and he can mourn in peace. What do you think?

[elsrks]

By this powerful, sensitive and spontaneous expression OF FEELING by Biden--it dramatically contrasted Palin's LACK OF FEELING!
it was appalling and ...stunning...

[isis]

Joe is a very strong person and he has not lost his soul no matter how long he has been in the Senate. Tragedy did not make him mean or isolated. That shows character.

[longislandlol]

My great-gramma, Nona Lenora used to say-- be yourself always in every situation and never sell your soul to the devil! Joe Biden struck a homerun by being himself-- this homerun brought Barack to win the 9th inning----

[cvc76]

As a native Delawarean I clearly remember the accident that took Joe's wife and daughter- the entire state was shocked. Joe was so young, his family a light during the tumultuous Viet Nam years. His sister and family rallied around him and the entire state prayed for his sons and him. While there are issues on which I have disagreed with his stand, in the almost 36 years that have passed he has been a class act who has fought for the folks from this state. He remains a part of us and it is hard to think of any politician who has worked harder and stayed closer to his roots than Joe Biden.

[JSquercia]

I do believe that Biden has the lowest Net Worth of any Senator and perhaps even Congressman with the bulk of his worth consisting of the value of his home

[GinnyinCO]

In wealth, Biden is 99 of 100 in the Senate. Not sure who is 100 (Sanders?)

[JNagarya]

Thank you for this. Not being from DE, I haven't followed Biden's career. I do vaguely remember the news about the accident at the time, but I didn't know -- and it was wonderful to learn -- his histroy from that point. The man is the definition of parent, of putting family first. I doubt it would be possible to find a person with more integrity.

Indeed, he is one of those anonymous, ordinary heroes -- and outstrips McSame in every detail of that.

And, thank you DE for Joe Biden!

[strandwolf]

"It Takes a Big Man". I don't know if it was a stunt or genuine--thankfully the Repubs. haven't "gone there" with snark, but it worked for me. The attack on him lately has been that he lives in an exclusive neighborhood with other fatcat millionaires. But from what I hear he has avoided lining his pockets and has one of the leanest portfolios of any Senators. I'd trust him as Commander-In-Chief and I hate crooks and dummies on either side of the aisle. In fact, give me a viable third party--in fact we need to work for one if the Demos let us down this time around.

[beden7068]

What republicans don't understand is that is not where you live or how much money you have that defines you. It's what you do that defines you.

[maryyooch]

That was no stunt coming from Biden. He is known for his good eart and passion. Yes, sometimes he can talk a little too much, but, that goes back to his passion.

[spartanmom]

no stunt. I heard an interview with him a week or so ago. He had mentioned this wife and daughter as part of a stump speech and totally lost it. And on tape.

He said that it really surprised him that all the emotions from that time came welling up and that he wasn't going to do that again.

I think Palin goaded him into it and just pissed him off so much that it all came up again. This time he was a bit more controlled

[Smirk]

Knowing his son was returning to Iraq probably didn't help, either.

[shiningstar1]

Joe Biden is hot and sexy too because I, like Marilyn Monroe, find intelligence the most sexy quality a man can have. Obviously Obama makes me sit up in my chair a little straighter too. Ooh and his sexy voice! Yummy! I have always loved Biden because he has an ability to see all sides of an issue and explain things in common language. Obama made the right choice. McCain on the other hand clearly doesn't care about our country of he would have picked somebody qualified. He also wouldn't support a war and deregulations that are bankrupting our country. I don't find McCain attractive in any way. Sparkle and Shine http://www.sexyobamashirts.com

[kentonindy]

Hey, pupbayer, check your facts before you rant. Biden never ran for office as a single parent, although he was single for almost his entire first term in the Senate. His wife and daughter died in 1972 just after he was first elected, and then he remarried 5 years later, 17 months before his reelection in 1978.

[pupbayer]

So it is NOT OK for Palin, who has a husband to help care for her children, to run for office but it IS OK for a single dad, with no spouse to care for his children, to run for office. Hmmmm....I don't get it.

Is it because she is a woman or because she is a Republican? OR should I say, is it because he is a man or because he is a Democrat? Either way, it's inconsistent.

[KathyinCT]

Read the newspapers occasionally. Biden had already been elected when his wife and daughter were killed.

Oh sorry -- you're a Republican so facts don't matter.

[tavote08]

All of the above, take your pick... It's a page right out of the Republican play book.

[enoughspin]

Its not a question of whether or not either is better than the other. The importance is in HOW its served up.

Biden's emotionsl response was unexpected and real.

Palin's delivery was a perky, artificial plastic extravaganza which to me was disgusting particularly after Biden's show of emotional vulnerability... like a mechanical followup from the Energizer Bunny.

And yet, the end result was a strength from Biden that Palin could never in a million years surpass.

[RIP2]

For me, a single parent who raised 3 children who are now contributing citizens to America .IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT but , I did it and I am blessed. Sarah Palin can do what ever she wants however, when a family has a teenaged pregnancy that develops.. it means that the family is in"crisis'. I would be concerned... The first born son goes to Iraq. ( That is okay but for the govenor of a state's son to go without any prior preperation is "odd" to me. He should have gone to college, gotten a skill then go to the service. Going as he has done makes him only cannon fodder. Who was 'guiding him" . Certainly not his parents. When my husband went to the service he was a college graduate and an attorney. He was in the JAG. His parents had 3rd grade educations. Who "thinks "in the Palin family?
The second child a daughter is pregnant before she graduates from high school. Why did this happen? Sarah evidently did not have a close relatioship with her girl nor did the husband who was gone most of the time. This girl should be going away to college. The rest of the children are lost. They have no role models from their siblings. Sarah talks about pitbuls and hockey Moms. She is no role model for me and my family. If she would run our country as she has run her family.. she is dangerous!

[DefeatedAnOfficer]

It's because Sarah Palin lists "hockey mom" as one of her primary qualifications for being on the ticket, so it's fair to question just how good she is at that. Biden sells himself on his experience and his record, warts and all, and has NEVER claimed or implied that he deserves to be on the ticket because he's such a great dad (although he does happen to be a great dad, it seems).

[EmmJay1025]

I was so impressed with Joe Biden during the debate. He was kind, and considerate and very, very smart, and showed an appealing sensitivity when he got teary eyed. But he got ahold of himself immediately and was able to go on...He laid out the Obama/Biden plans and told why we needed change. And was able to say, without being nasty about it, or cute about it, how the McCain/Palin ticket is NOT about change and never has been until about two weeks ago!

Joe Biden is a total class act and I am proud that two men like Obama and Biden will be the role models for our American boys and also will be "representing" America to the rest of the world. THESE men hold the true American values that I was taught, anyway...

[Horsemeat]

I thought the absolute best is how Palin constantly refers to herself as a member of the Joe Six-Pack Club--has she forgotten that she earns well over six-figures and is collectively worth WELL into the 7-figure range?

[Seaglass]

Just another fake politician.....................but her non-reading, non-thinking "base" ("She's just like me!!") is thrilled.

[Teeninchee]

manipulator

[Belgian Beer]

Biden's sincerity is very hard to doubt. That sort thing cannot be faked on the spot.

That Palin didn't even acknowledge Biden's loss, jumping instead straight into a lame talking point about McCain, is pretty disturbing.

Her smile is as fake as her comments. The woman is a construct, a kind of Frankenstein created by Republican PR agents. She doesn't actually exist.

[chronic]

Exactly!

[thepianodiva]

"That Palin didn't even acknowledge Biden's loss, jumping instead straight into a lame talking point about McCain, is pretty disturbing."

Yes, but it's not just disturbing. It is a window into who this woman really is. It was unbelievable that she could hear Biden express that kind of emotion and continue on, without batting an eye, with her plastic smile pasted on her face, blabbering and going on with her nonsensical talking points.

It was creepy, it was ugly. It revealed her for the robotic, artificial, narcissistic personality that she is. Narcissists are incapable of empathy. Anyone with a heart would have had to stop in their tracks and respond. Nope. She is heartless and we all saw that.

[Seaglass]

Thank you--my thoughts at the time, exactly.

[pegbo]

I don't think she even heard him. She was to busy memorizing her next talking point off of her cheat sheet.

[jja]

If she took time to acknowledge his lose, she would probablly lose her place and then she may have had to throw in a few more "we're reformers, the two of us, we're mavericks, you betcha!" Until she could get her bearings again.

[docbets]

Biden - he is a decent man. Yes, given to blurting things out, but it is that same sometimes inoperable filter that had him not filtering out his emotional experience of living in a real time, real life way.
I was emotionally touched before he even got to his "moment." My husband, whose first wife died 22 years ago, was crying. My 16-year-old daughter was, as well.
I asked her how she would have reacted to that if she were in SP's place on the stage. She said she wasn't sure, but would have been touched enough that probably that fact alone would be all the response needed. I agree completely. When ice water flows in someone's veins, there is no hope of health care, looking after our natural world, avoiding armed conflict in other nations.
Acknowledging Biden's truths is not a political risk. It would have cemented SP's claims of family relationships and human life mattering. And even if it did cost politically, if it were I in her place (and I know Eye am not qualified) I'd sooner forfeit an election than betray myself and the rest of humanity by ignoring what was happening beside me.
Such people as SP (and JMcC) have no business occupying the top levels of government.