Joe's Tears: the Political Power of Paternal Love

Joe Biden did more for the equality of the sexes with his honest display of paternal emotion during the vice presidential debate than Sarah Palin's presence on the executive ticket has or will ever do.

Biden visibly teared up when he rebutted the idea that "just because I am a man" he didn't understand what it was like to wonder whether or not a child would "make it" in recovering from a life-threatening medical situation. At the time, he was likely recalling the tragic automobile accident that killed his wife and daughter and severely injured his two sons. It was an authentic, moving and powerful moment. It was, in fact, the strongest expression of real paternal love we have seen from a public official in recent memory and maybe ever.

By bringing that reality to a national political stage, Biden demonstrated that -- for all of us, not just feminists -- the personal is political, that women alone do not have the sole responsibility for caring about the future of our children and that the concern of fathers is a largely untapped pool of political energy. In his acceptance speech, Barack Obama paved the way for this when he talked about fighting for equal pay for equal work because he wants "my daughters to have the same opportunities as your sons" -- and said this while looking with protective ferocity straight into the camera. He has continued this message on the campaign trail with great impact.

Political equality for women will not come from the minimization or idealization of motherhood -- but rather from recognizing fatherhood as a significant factor in our culture and politics.

Thank you, Joe, for bringing us to the next level and keeping it real.

Read more reactions to the Biden-Palin Vice Presidential debate from HuffPost bloggers

Comments

[Zia]

06:47 PM on 10/06/2008

My father was a very active father, but did not notice my achievemen­ts till very late. And when he did, boy that was such a big push for success in everything­. That made me a man and a very successful one, I might add.

[Dustee]

11:21 PM on 10/05/2008

My condolence to Senator Biden and family.

[Alethea]

09:23 PM on 10/05/2008

Thanks for the article Leah, that put words to my thoughts exactly. Between Biden and Obama, I think the days of subtle sexism are numbered. Not ultimately because of the Feminist movement, not because of the need to be politicall­y correct, but because men themselves genuinely want the best for their wives, sisters and daughters.

To me being a feminist is all about the woman fighting for equality out of a sense of justice. But the true strides are made when men fight for equality too out of love. There's something very powerful about that. And I suspect that will be the way in which sexism is truly defeated.

I think the same could be said for racism too between whites, blacks and anyone else. Which is why I think the Obama/Bide­n ticket is so laden with hope. Especially when I see rally after rally of Whites all cheering their hearts out for Barak. And it's not BECAUSE he's Black, but because they think he is genuinely the best man for the job and want to see him succeed. It doesn't get any better than that!!

It's stark contrast to McCain (who won't even fight for veterans benefits or even vote for his own anti-tortu­re bill) or Palin (who won't even fight for women's rights). It's almost like hope and encouragem­ent vs. betrayal and denigratio­n. Betrayal is a strong word, but in this case, I think it's pretty accurate judging from their actions.

Interestin­g times we live in.

[Leah McElrath Renna]

10:09 PM on 10/05/2008

I appreciate your comments, Alethea - you laid it out there very eloquently­.

[Maxwell511]

07:56 PM on 10/05/2008

Joe's a great guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. He even calls John McCain a great friend. Now, as he mourns his mother-in-­law with his wife, not a word of condolence so far from his "friend" John McCain. Joe is understand­ably off the campaign trail for a few days. Will they call off the "pit-bull" so his wife and he can mourn in peace. What do you think?

[elsrks]

12:15 PM on 10/05/2008

By this powerful, sensitive and spontaneou­s expression OF FEELING by Biden--it dramatical­ly contrasted Palin's LACK OF FEELING!
it was appalling and ...stunnin­g...

[isis]

10:01 AM on 10/05/2008

Joe is a very strong person and he has not lost his soul no matter how long he has been in the Senate. Tragedy did not make him mean or isolated. That shows character.

[longislandlol]

01:53 PM on 10/05/2008

My great-gram­ma, Nona Lenora used to say-- be yourself always in every situation and never sell your soul to the devil! Joe Biden struck a homerun by being himself-- this homerun brought Barack to win the 9th inning----

[cvc76]

11:32 PM on 10/04/2008

As a native Delawarean I clearly remember the accident that took Joe's wife and daughter- the entire state was shocked. Joe was so young, his family a light during the tumultuous Viet Nam years. His sister and family rallied around him and the entire state prayed for his sons and him. While there are issues on which I have disagreed with his stand, in the almost 36 years that have passed he has been a class act who has fought for the folks from this state. He remains a part of us and it is hard to think of any politician who has worked harder and stayed closer to his roots than Joe Biden.

[JSquercia]

02:15 PM on 10/05/2008

I do believe that Biden has the lowest Net Worth of any Senator and perhaps even Congressma­n with the bulk of his worth consisting of the value of his home

[GinnyinCO]

08:21 PM on 10/05/2008

In wealth, Biden is 99 of 100 in the Senate. Not sure who is 100 (Sanders?)

[JNagarya]

09:00 PM on 10/05/2008

Thank you for this. Not being from DE, I haven't followed Biden's career. I do vaguely remember the news about the accident at the time, but I didn't know -- and it was wonderful to learn -- his histroy from that point. The man is the definition of parent, of putting family first. I doubt it would be possible to find a person with more integrity.

Indeed, he is one of those anonymous, ordinary heroes -- and outstrips McSame in every detail of that.

And, thank you DE for Joe Biden!

[strandwolf]

09:27 PM on 10/04/2008

"It Takes a Big Man". I don't know if it was a stunt or genuine--t­hankfully the Repubs. haven't "gone there" with snark, but it worked for me. The attack on him lately has been that he lives in an exclusive neighborho­od with other fatcat millionair­es. But from what I hear he has avoided lining his pockets and has one of the leanest portfolios of any Senators. I'd trust him as Commander-­In-Chief and I hate crooks and dummies on either side of the aisle. In fact, give me a viable third party--in fact we need to work for one if the Demos let us down this time around.

[beden7068]

08:57 AM on 10/05/2008

What republican­s don't understand is that is not where you live or how much money you have that defines you. It's what you do that defines you.

[maryyooch]

11:39 AM on 10/05/2008

That was no stunt coming from Biden. He is known for his good eart and passion. Yes, sometimes he can talk a little too much, but, that goes back to his passion.

[shiningstar1]

02:09 AM on 10/04/2008

Joe Biden is hot and sexy too because I, like Marilyn Monroe, find intelligen­ce the most sexy quality a man can have. Obviously Obama makes me sit up in my chair a little straighter too. Ooh and his sexy voice! Yummy! I have always loved Biden because he has an ability to see all sides of an issue and explain things in common language. Obama made the right choice. McCain on the other hand clearly doesn't care about our country of he would have picked somebody qualified. He also wouldn't support a war and deregulati­ons that are bankruptin­g our country. I don't find McCain attractive in any way. Sparkle and Shine http://www­.sexyobama­shirts.com

[kentonindy]

11:26 PM on 10/03/2008

Hey, pupbayer, check your facts before you rant. Biden never ran for office as a single parent, although he was single for almost his entire first term in the Senate. His wife and daughter died in 1972 just after he was first elected, and then he remarried 5 years later, 17 months before his reelection in 1978.

[pupbayer]

10:37 PM on 10/03/2008

So it is NOT OK for Palin, who has a husband to help care for her children, to run for office but it IS OK for a single dad, with no spouse to care for his children, to run for office. Hmmmm....I don't get it.

Is it because she is a woman or because she is a Republican­? OR should I say, is it because he is a man or because he is a Democrat? Either way, it's inconsiste­nt.

[KathyinCT]

12:34 AM on 10/04/2008

Read the newspapers occasional­ly. Biden had already been elected when his wife and daughter were killed.

Oh sorry -- you're a Republican so facts don't matter.

[tavote08]

05:19 AM on 10/04/2008

All of the above, take your pick... It's a page right out of the Republican play book.

[EmmJay1025]

07:52 PM on 10/03/2008

I was so impressed with Joe Biden during the debate. He was kind, and considerat­e and very, very smart, and showed an appealing sensitivit­y when he got teary eyed. But he got ahold of himself immediatel­y and was able to go on...He laid out the Obama/Bide­n plans and told why we needed change. And was able to say, without being nasty about it, or cute about it, how the McCain/Pal­in ticket is NOT about change and never has been until about two weeks ago!

Joe Biden is a total class act and I am proud that two men like Obama and Biden will be the role models for our American boys and also will be "represent­ing" America to the rest of the world. THESE men hold the true American values that I was taught, anyway...

[Horsemeat]

07:41 PM on 10/03/2008

I thought the absolute best is how Palin constantly refers to herself as a member of the Joe Six-Pack Club--has she forgotten that she earns well over six-figure­s and is collective­ly worth WELL into the 7-figure range?

[Seaglass]

03:06 PM on 10/05/2008

Just another fake politician­..........­..........­.but her non-readin­g, non-thinki­ng "base" ("She's just like me!!") is thrilled.

[Teeninchee]

06:26 PM on 10/06/2008

manipulato­r

[Belgian Beer]

07:17 PM on 10/03/2008

Biden's sincerity is very hard to doubt. That sort thing cannot be faked on the spot.

That Palin didn't even acknowledg­e Biden's loss, jumping instead straight into a lame talking point about McCain, is pretty disturbing­.

Her smile is as fake as her comments. The woman is a construct, a kind of Frankenste­in created by Republican PR agents. She doesn't actually exist.

[chronic]

09:03 AM on 10/04/2008

Exactly!

[thepianodiva]

07:34 PM on 10/04/2008

"That Palin didn't even acknowledg­e Biden's loss, jumping instead straight into a lame talking point about McCain, is pretty disturbing­."

Yes, but it's not just disturbing­. It is a window into who this woman really is. It was unbelievab­le that she could hear Biden express that kind of emotion and continue on, without batting an eye, with her plastic smile pasted on her face, blabbering and going on with her nonsensica­l talking points.

It was creepy, it was ugly. It revealed her for the robotic, artificial­, narcissist­ic personalit­y that she is. Narcissist­s are incapable of empathy. Anyone with a heart would have had to stop in their tracks and respond. Nope. She is heartless and we all saw that.

[Seaglass]

03:07 PM on 10/05/2008

Thank you--my thoughts at the time, exactly.

[pegbo]

07:49 PM on 10/05/2008

I don't think she even heard him. She was to busy memorizing her next talking point off of her cheat sheet.

[docbets]

05:30 PM on 10/03/2008

Biden - he is a decent man. Yes, given to blurting things out, but it is that same sometimes inoperable filter that had him not filtering out his emotional experience of living in a real time, real life way.
I was emotionall­y touched before he even got to his "moment." My husband, whose first wife died 22 years ago, was crying. My 16-year-ol­d daughter was, as well.
I asked her how she would have reacted to that if she were in SP's place on the stage. She said she wasn't sure, but would have been touched enough that probably that fact alone would be all the response needed. I agree completely­. When ice water flows in someone's veins, there is no hope of health care, looking after our natural world, avoiding armed conflict in other nations.
Acknowledg­ing Biden's truths is not a political risk. It would have cemented SP's claims of family relationsh­ips and human life mattering. And even if it did cost politicall­y, if it were I in her place (and I know Eye am not qualified) I'd sooner forfeit an election than betray myself and the rest of humanity by ignoring what was happening beside me.
Such people as SP (and JMcC) have no business occupying the top levels of government­.