Bush's Original Farewell Address Leaked to Press

Dear America States -

I beenz Precedent of The United over 8 to 10 yearz gone bye. I haz fun to be Precedent of y'all, even immegrantz, but not gayz. I am done now with itz. Here is my list of favorites, all favoritez, for you:

- I gotz wear pilot costoom suit on big boat. BIG BOAT!
- My house haz bowling amy for bowling ballz. Me and Karl play. Karl iz fat.
- Mister Chainy gave me cake for me only me because I go get him oil from sandy country in dessert. Camels. Mister Chainee likez oil. I gets cakez.
- We played hide andgoseek with Valery Planes. I think I winned.
- Carl show me picturez of ewwy pile of guys with naked buttz in prison. Eww.
- Easter EGGS!!!!!!
- Barney bitez me once and I bitez him back!!
- Karl cut up my pretzels because once once it pretselz hurt my neck. Owwy. But now little tiny weeny pretselz no hurt George.
- Bye bye Donny Rumsfelt. Donny leave. No one know where hez go?? Smell still here.
- I win Amarica.

Daddy said I comez back to Texas now. Yea! No more scary microfone men reports. Barney bitez one once! That was best day of my Barney. Good Barney.

See you next time I'z Precedent!!

~Goerge

(Previously titled: My Farewell to "Bush Is Stupid" Jokes - We Will Miss Thee)

Comments

[Babzter]

As much as I dislike Bush, this was not funny.

[ggmome]

Has any polls been issued about how many were watching his last public delusion? I would like to note that he never made mention of that miraculous landing on the Hudson River by that heroic Pilot.

Are the 'pardons' next? I just wish that was the last we will EVER hear from Bush!

[dennshollowhead]

I liked the comedic aspect of the snl bit. i think gwb will like it,too. i think he expects some ridicule as he leaves. i hope he keeps his sense of humor.

[LauraD]

I have to grant that he does have a good sense of humor. That's a positive quality. He'll need that sense of humor, mostly because at this point he's the only one left laughing.

Personally, it doesn't outweigh his pathetic attempts at leadership­...but at least he's funny.

(I was raised in the South - we try our damnedest to find the good in everyone..­..this one was a challenge.­)

[friscotxmom]

He has a great sense of humor, but his gigantic ego doesn't allow him to understand that he is the bu tt of the joke. As another southerner, Ron White, says, "You can't fix stupid." It's like a group of kids teasing a retarded kid and the reta rded kid laughing and thinking he has made a bunch of new friends. If he wasn't evil incarnate, I might actually feel sorry for him. (But he is so I don't !)

[drewziGNY]

Thing is, he probably would have written his speeches in crayon....­of course he couldn't decide if he should use raw umber or periwinkle­...so much for being the Decider there.

[friscotxmom]

He yooz red cuz chainee say red state is gud state so he taked the red wun.

[drewziGNY]

was it brick red or cherry red?

[texasrodeoqueen]

LOL I like it

[tyger]

An article asked the question what was Bush's crowning moment while President? My answer, When he leaves office Jan 20.

[AlButerol]

I think you give Bush too much credit. Does he know which end of a pen the ink comes out of?

[Thabit]

The answer to that is sometimes , He only knows which end of the pen that the red ink comes from

[drayak]

Lee Camp does it again. No faith, divider, and yes, he can get a job at the NY Post. No facts, no ethics, and not funny.

I hear, you may be able to get a job at my local high school paper, as soon as you learn to spell.

[zukervati]

Boo Hoo! Lee hit it on the money!

No faith, divider, no facts, no ethics - surely you're talking about the Bush regime? Right?

[Chubbster]

Few either watched or cared. But we haven't forgotten, all bear the scars.
Bush: bin Laden's secret weapon of mass destruction.

[texasrodeoqueen]

GWB=GOP WMD

[den1953]

This would be funny if it wasn't sad to think about all those people that lost loved ones to war and disasters & world trade center.Thi­s man screwed up this country so bad not to mention the world economy that may be so disasterous we may be living in caves no joke.

[Car84]

I will feel less safe as soon as Obama is inaugurated. I hope that feeling turns out to be unfounded. All I have is hope.

[benalbanach]

There is something distinctly American about this.

[adamsmith3]

In that it lacks any wit or subtlety? If so, I agree

[raysmom]

Comedy...i­s that the new word for hate these days? Oh, I see- not when you are a compassionate liberal- Good grief.

[mudshark12]

To GWB,

Spin and spin as much as you like, the fact is that you screwed everything up that you could, so much and so often that nobody likes you anymore. You have had so many "farewell" interviews on TV trying to justify your actions and define your "legacy" to anyone you could convince that no one is convinced. You need to retire as you have cemented your place in history as the absolute worst President America has ever had the displeasure to have known.

[mtflyer]

There is a parallel here. We older folks can remember that people made fun of Hitler and thought he was a clown. They learned too late that they were dead wrong-and then just dead. Evil can wear a smiling face and make jokes.

[SpaceboySD]

LOL - This should have been subtitled during that travesty of a speech he actually had the nerve to give.

[ciceroette]

I told you that "No Child Left Behind" would ruin us after all!
Although, it is possible, that once Mr. Bush figured out how much things were screwed up that he decided to go for a PR makeover, and become, the loveable, bumbling, professor, president. Hundreds of years from now, people will find him a hoot to read. He will thereby, secure his place in history as a Yogi Berra type or a Sam Goldwyn language abuser - personage and the 8 years of carnage and dsdpotism will be forgotten.
Well....th­at's what he's hoping for.