My Brief Conversation with Joe The Plumber (I'm NOT Kidding)

So most of my posts are fake/parody/satire/pretend/ bullsh*t -- whatever you wanna call 'em. And because of that, whenever I write something real or genuine, people assume it's fake. It's kinda like when Bush tries to tell the truth. But I mean it honestly this time -- this post is real.

A national radio show had me on this morning as a "political comedian." And the way radio shows usually work is that they have you on hold on the phone while you wait to be introduced. While you're on hold, you can hear everything that's going on on the show. As I was sitting on hold at 7:45 AM this morning, I started to realize this radio show was definitely not part of the "Liberal Media Elite," as they say. You know, those crazy left-wing nutbags like Lou "stab-the-brown-people" Dobbs and Glenn "how-do-I-know-all-3.5-billion-Muslims-aren't-terrorists" Beck.

While I'm waiting on hold, they started interviewing none other than Joe The Plumber -- yes, THAT Joe The Plumber. The Joe The Plumber who McCain/Palin talk about every 15 seconds as an example of Obama's evil plans to raise YOUR taxes. The Joe The Plumber who has been the gateway into talking about Obama's sinister blueprints for Socialism. THAT Joe The Plumber.

So I still couldn't talk but I could hear his interview, and Joe and the host were discussing how Obama wants to spread the wealth and create Socialism and how the crazy liberals in NY and LA think the rest of the country are idiots (by the way, they so clearly are). At this point the host abruptly introduced me -- or at least tried to. He accidentally called me "Joe Camp," and I quickly corrected him with "I like to be called Joe The Camp." I figured the host had already hung up on The Plumber, and the first thing I said was, "Is Joe aware he'd get a tax cut under Obama?" -- because, as many of us have read, Joe ACTUALLY makes $40,000 per year, not $250,000. Much to my surprise, The Plumber was still on the line. Joe's response was "Yeah, I know that, but somebody else worked hard for that money, so why should I get it?" And I said, "So you're against any and all taxes whatsoever??" And Joe answered, "No, I know taxes are a necessary evil, but somebody else worked hard for that." And I said, "Well if your taxes are actually higher now than they will be under Obama and you're calling Obama a Socialist, then you must also believe George Bush is a Socialist."

Joe started stuttering a response and then suddenly there were a million bells and whistles and a pop song started playing and the show went to commercial break. I guess they cut the conversation short so that they could help Joe flee the truth seeing as he was gone when we came back from commercial. And the loud noises were meant to audibly neutralize the listeners like in Men in Black, you know, erase what the people at home had gathered in the past two minutes. Apparently the host thought, "God damn those Liberal Elite with their stupid facts and rational arguments! Here we were having a perfectly good name-calling session when a f*cking left-wing hippie comedian had to drop facts into the mix like dropping turds in a punch bowl."

Anyway, after The Plumber was gone, the host did something pretty brilliant, as much as I hate to admit it. He abruptly changed the subject to something he and I actually agreed upon (because he's a Libertarian). He changed it to gay marriage, which he agrees with. So even though I did get one more slam in about Sarah Palin's $150,000 wardrobe, the rest of my brief time on right-wing radio was wasted on nonsense. Clearly too much truth had been bluntly shoved into the brains of the listeners, so the topic had to be shifted to a shiny distraction on the other side of the room.

And just in case America was still pondering real issues rather than nonsense and name-calling, you know who was on the show after my segment? Hulk Hogan. I wish that were a joke. What a perfect pallet cleanser to help Roto-Rooter out the remaining bits and pieces of rational discourse!

Comments

[Rob573]

Someone wrote that Joe should thank Obama for coming to his neighborhoos because otherwise no one would know him. Actually Joe needs to thank and VOTE for Obama because by meeting him old Joe got all of his back taxes paid by real hard working people that ALSO will get a tax break from the Obama Presidency.
The only draw back is that most "thinking" and "intelligent" people see that he is not a licensed professional, failed to pay his fair taxes and lied about being able to ne in a position to buy a company based on his credit rating and income.
At what point are you not a criminal? Breaking ANY law such as failure to pay taxes and breaking traffic laws) is a crime and a being GUILTY of a crime makes you a CRIMINAL.
I was a Republican but because of the negative campaign run by McCain and the mere fact that he (McCain) based SO MUCH of his campaign on a criminal (Joe the Plumber) and since he (McCain) championed a criminal and since he picked a running mate that has NO experience AT ALL when his (McCain's) age and health are a real issue, there is no way that I could or would vote for his ticket.
McCain has not only brough shame to the party but more then likely has, with the help of Palin, insured the complete collapse of the party in this election cycle.

[truthynesslover]

They cant handle the truth!Pretty funny though!

[Herkv]

Whoops - I'm a victim of Phil's law - actually, Pallet is a thing you pile things on or sleep on, while Palette is the paint thing. I knew that . . .

[Herkv]

Just to put in a plug for Sam (Joe) the Plumber:

Ohio apparently doesn't see fit to license plumbers. The union there does have a licensing program and licenses are required in the cities. Sure, it would be nice if Joe actually had some training somewhere besides at your house, but until states take some responsibility for the health of their citizens that's just the way it is.

As to how Joe can buy a business that makes $250,000 per year, if the banks were not all screwed up, he might be able to get a loan . . .

More likely, Joe would start his own business as many plumbers do. He might well be able to grow his business over a few years to where his own business would net him $250k, but it's a truism that it's harder for plumbers to make money in states where code and enforcement are lax.

And it's "palate," Lee. One is for paint, the other is in your mouth.

[truthandjusticegrrl]

Joe the Plumber didn't pay his taxes and is an unlicensed plumber.
How exactly is he so American?
Is that what the R's represent? Skirting taxes and professional credentials?
Looking at the McSame's pick of Sarah Palin, "you becha"

[truthandjusticegrrl]

Joe the Plumber didn't pay his taxes and is an unlicensed plumber. How exactly is he so American?
Is that what the R's represent? Skirting taxes and professional credentials?
Looking at the McSame's pick of Sarah Palin, "you becha"

[truthandjusticegrrl]

Joe the Plumber didn't pay his taxes and is an unlicensed plumber. How exactly is he so American?
Is that what the R's represent? Skirting taxes and professional credentials?
Looking at the McSame's pick of Sarah Palin, "you becha"

See housegate at: http://mudflats.wordpress.com/?s=onion

[heidi58]

I just hope that Joe the Plumber sends a thank you note to Obama. If Obama had not visited Joe's neighborhood, he would still be an unknown, unlicensed "plumber" with a privately-held pipe dream of owning a $250,000 business. Think of how his life has changed thanks to Barack Obama!

[natureman]

You cute little propagandist, you. All of you like to spout off about Joe being an unlicensed plumber. What you don't know (or choose to ignore) is that Joe has been going to school to get his license before he even gets his business.
What you also choose to ignore is that Obama is making fun of Joe. Who is Joe? He is one of us. He is an average American trying to work hard to succeed.
I don't even care that much really... I'm just tired of hearing everyone repeat the propaganda.

[truthynesslover]

"JOE THE PLUMBER" "HOCKEY MOM""JOE SIX PACK"will you guys be coming out with a coloring book next year?Dont you see how INSULTING that is using caricatures of working people?Can you be insulted?
When the 95% of working people make Far less than $250,000. including "sam the handy man" how is it propaganda to show THEY would get a tax cut under OBAMA again?

[aloha43]

Thank you, Lee Camp, for putting Joe the plumber on the spot!

[southernfriedyanqui]

What part of "planning to buy a business that makes more than $250K a year" did you miss out on--all of it?

I make a certain number of dollars a year this year. Next year I intend to make more.

If that's not something liberals can understand, no wonder they don't get economics.

[aloha43]

And the more you make, the more you should be happy to give.

[natureman]

Oh wow. So what does that mean? If you make more money, the percentage you should give should be more? Aren't they going to be paying more anyway, if the percentage was the same across the board? Let's check it out with an easy example. Income = $100,000 and 10% tax... $10,000. Income = $1,000,000 and 10% tax... $100,000
Wow, that sure is a lot more using the same percentage. What it comes down to is that you people who don't make that much money (or can't make that much) think it's unfair that you can't so the evil rich white man should be taxed and brought down to your level.
That must be what thanos_mom was talking about a few posts up in regards to compassion. We should be compassionate on the people who make less money than us.

Oh by the way... being forced to give is not giving.

[thismachinekillsfascists]

Yup just keep spouting those talking points.

[natureman]

You too. As I said before, all of you like to spout off about Joe being an unlicensed plumber. What you don't know (or choose to ignore) is that Joe has been going to school to get his license before he even gets his business.

[edgraham]

OK, I read what you wrote. Twice. I'd try again, but I know it still won't make sense.

Next time please try to explain to me how you can buy a bussiness that nets (look it up) $250,000 a year, when you only gross $40,000 a year.

Trying to defend the idea of Joe the Plumber is as stupid as I am for responding to your insanity.

Ed Graham

[thanos mom]

I hate it when people make comments like that, like liberals just don't get economics. I guess that would mean conservatives don't get compassion or reality, eh? Can we dispense with the stump speech stereotypes?
I'm going to say it, here it is: taxes are not evil. Taxes are necessary. Responsible taxing is needed to get every country working and maintain infrastructure. Anyone (liberal or conservative) who thinks we can finance a war and cut taxes doesn't get economics. Anyone who thinks our quality of life won't suffer if we continue to cut taxes doesn't get economics. Anyone who thinks that only the lazy, criminal, immigrant (enter your hated group here) elements are going to be the ones to suffer if we cut necessary programs don't get it.

[natureman]

Explain compassion. Does that mean giving your money to those who don't have as much as you? Let's take that further. Giving your money to the government so they can decide which less off person gets your money.
So let me ask you, are you saying Obama is going to raise taxes so he can continue paying for this war?

[roald]

Poor Joe does not have a clue abut how much the business makes or how much it might make. He doesn't realize that lower taxes under Obama would make it easier for him to save the money to but the business.

Let's go with the top end he provided - 270K. His additional taxes would be 3% of (270k-250k) = $600 dollars per year.

GOP=Got Ours. P***off.

[truthynesslover]

Your assuming "joe" know how to pay his taxes!Wadda business man!!!

[jazkiljok]

His first name isn't Joe. He isn't a real plumber (no license), the company he wants to buy doesn't make $250,000 a year, the owner wouldn't sell it to him cause he has no money to buy it, his real income isn't effected by Obama's tax plan, he doesn't pay his taxes anyway, his whole basis of argument against Obama's plan is fictitious and the characterization of him by McCain a complete lie. Yep, next stop Oprah.

[TaxScheme]

Will someone explain to Lee Camp and the "Liberal Elite with their stupid facts and rational arguments" that BO isn't proposing "tax cuts" and it is disingenuous to call them that. BO proposes "tax rebates." George Bush passed "tax rate reductions." Beeg Deeference.
Let's end the silly "it's only fair the "rich" pay a higher rate of taxes." Who can say what is fair because my definition of fair is certainly different than most on this site? The better question is "how is the money best spent?" Does it really make sense to send more to D.C. where it loses value and politicians use it as bribery to gain power and create constituencies? That's what it's really about. Not about helping poor people.
Raising taxes has two consequences and both hurt poor people. First, those who make over $250k will do things to shelter income, reducing money spent in the local community and the Feds get no additional tax income. The 2nd consequence is, additional taxes sent to DC isn't spent in local restaurants, for housing remodels, etc. That means jobs are lost. Thus creating more poor people. Oh wait. I forgot. That's the plan... to increase the number of people needing govt help so constituencies increase and the "Liberal Elite with their stupid facts and rational arguments" pat themselves on the back thinking they're helping.
Govt produces zero. It takes from producers and shifts it elsewhere, causing inefficiences that make all of us poorer.

[mojotronix]

Oh, is it really Obama's plan to increase the # of poor folk?
Thanks for that bit of info.
I guess I need to get me some educatin'
I guess his speeches about creating middle class jobs to build the economy is just smoke and mirrors?
Man, you guys are already busy with the conspiracy theories. Take your time, you have four more years to come up with something more convincing.

[aloha43]

Oh, whatever.

[truthandjusticegrrl]

Joe the Plumber didn't pay his taxes and is an unlicensed plumber. How exactly is he so American?
Is that what the R's represent? Skirting taxes and professional credentials?
Looking at the McSame's pick of Sarah Palin, "you becha"

[truthandjusticegrrl]

Joe the Plumber didn't pay his taxes and is an unlicensed plumber. How exactly is he so American?
Is that what the R's represent? Skirting taxes and professional credentials?

Looking at the McSame's pick of Sarah Palin, "you becha"

[noamjunior]

Your analysis has absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever
Example
to back up your claim that
"Raising taxes has two consequences and both hurt poor people."
you simply make up scenarios that may seem plausible at first glance but have no factual or statistical basis-just empty claims
this assertion of opnion as fact is the main reason we are currently in the financial situation we are in

[HST]

The truth to conservatives is just like light to a vampire.

[oregonideas]

if, in fact, loud, obnoxious music played incessantly to prisoners constitutes a violation of the Geneva accords, surely the same should apply to folks who, in public places, play right-wing hate radio for all of us to hear. If listening to Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage doesn't constitute torture we'll need to also reconsider water-boarding.

[Sadie1976]

Anyone who thinks McCain (the John McCain who is adamant about seeing the Iraq war through to "victory") can keep paying for Iraq and not raise taxes also believes in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and "Joe the Plumber"! It's just one of the many details McCain and Palin aren't botering to mention!