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Lee Kolbert

Lee Kolbert

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Grading Parents: My Thoughts and Predictions (Partial Parody)

Posted: 02/ 4/11 10:45 AM ET

Florida State Representative Kelli Stargel filed a bill last week that would require elementary school teachers (grades K-3) to assess parents on the quality of their involvement in their children's education. They would be scored on how they respond to items such as how well their children complete their homework, their children's attendance and whether they attend or respond to requests for meetings. Parents will also be graded on children's physical preparation for school, including a good night's sleep and appropriate meals. These grades would appear on the children's report card.

Certainly nobody can argue the facts that strong, appropriate parental involvement, good attendance, a good night's sleep and healthy eating all positively impact children's educational well-being. However, the idea of teachers grading the parents is a waste of teachers' time and antagonistic, not to mention bizarre!

We've seen less strange bills pass though, and if this bill should actually pass, I can only imagine what would occur. Keeping in mind that teachers are typically not allowed to make too many decisions on their own anymore, the following will most likely be necessary:

  • Tedious scoring guides, rubrics and professional development to understand them will be required of teachers in order to be properly prepared to assess parents. After all, who are teachers to know what proper attendance of students actually looks like? Why would teachers actually know if parents are responding to communication? Proper professional development in these areas would be crucial. On a positive note, more jobs would be created as there will be a need for a special department for this at the state and district levels.
  • There will certainly need to be some "warning" system such as a progress report to let parents know they are in "danger" of receiving a low score. Not sure who will need to sign to be sure it was received -- perhaps the grandparents. 
  • At some point, the state will tie the parental scores into school grades and so there will need to be some system of intervention and accountability in order to be sure that no parent is left behind.
  • NPLB will ensure that every parent's individual goals are tied to each student's individual goals, thus creating measurable objectives to be assessed before any grade can be administered. Again, more jobs created as programming for state departments of assessment and accountability will need to now include data systems for NPLB.
  • Since there must be some differentiation, teachers of K-3 will be free to offer a limited series of credits and demerits to parents based on behaviors, for example:
    • Plus 5 points = parent responds to emails and phone calls from teachers within 24 hours.
    • Minus 1 point = for every day parent does not respond to email and phone from teacher.
    • Minus 10 points = parent blocks school number on cellphone.

    • Plus 5 points = parents assists child with homework.
    • Minus 5 points = parent does homework for child.
    • Minus 10 points = parent does homework for child AND uses own handwriting.

    • Plus 5 points = parent sends in notes to teacher if student is experiencing difficulty with a subject and thinks teacher may be unaware.
    • Minus 5 points = parent sends in note to teacher if student is experiencing difficulty with a subject and accuses the teacher of not teaching it.
    • Minus 10 points = same parents simply calls the principal without discussing with teacher first.

    • Plus 5 points = parent offers to help out at school or in some way from home.
    • Minus 10 points = parent offers to help out at school, comes in, then reports back to other parents all of her "observations" in class, including details of other students' behaviors.

    • Plus 5 points = parent makes sure student has all necessary supplies or reaches out to teacher to request assistance.
    • Minus 5 points = parent allows students to do without necessary supplies with no communication to teacher.

    • Plus 5 points= parent shows up for scheduled conference
    • Minus 2 points=parent shows up for scheduled conference late leaving only a few minutes to chat
    • Minus 10 points= parent shows up unannounced for conference and is visibly upset when told teacher is not available.

    • Plus 5 points = parent respectfully asks teacher if moving their child's seat might be beneficial if they feel they are being distracted by other students.
    • Minus 5 points = for each additional time parent requests seat change for same reason.
    • Plus 10 points = parent finally admits own child is also distracting others and seat placement is not the issue.

    These are just a few, and I'm sure when committees begin forming there will be many, many more suggestions floating around. I'm "sure" this bill will make education a whole lot better.

    What are your thoughts? Good idea, or no?
     

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01:42 PM on 02/05/2011
......Kids have enough pressures on them about getting good grades. With this kind of legislature, they will also have to worry about their parents grade and the kind of pressure they will receive by their peers and/or teachers if their parents received a low grade. Also, if their parents received a low grade and it is visible to the child, what kind of impression is that going to make on the child? Some would say well the kids would not know about it. Yes they will, things always get out. This will also set up a negative view of the child to new teachers, so the child will be starting a new grade with a checkmark against them already.

......In my experience, a teacher without children always sets their standards to heights that are, at times, impossible to reach for both the child and the parent. What if you have a parent(s) that have to work two jobs just to keep a roof over their head and can only afford the bare minimum for food? Now because this parent(s) cannot put in the "required" time allocation or buy the "required" food dictated by this legislation, they will receive a low grade and, I foresee, the teacher responsible for grading this child being influenced by the parents grade.

Do we want our children to have good self-esteem or are we going to set them up for failure? I see this legislation doing nothing but the latter.
11:03 AM on 02/05/2011
Wow...what a can of worms that could open. Then we will need separate departments for minority parents, single parents, divorced parents, gay & lesbian parents, parents who don't speak english ...
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01:45 PM on 02/05/2011
.....you can say that again,
10:59 PM on 02/04/2011
Teachers already know which parents are doing a good job with their children. It is obvious by the childs appearance and manners and who actually makes the effort to communicate with the teacher. I think people should have to get a license to procreate. You need one to drive a car-
wmchamberlain
teacher, learner, righteous dude
02:48 PM on 02/04/2011
I say we just vote -1 for politicians that think legislation which requires teachers and parents to be opponents is a good thing.
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davidwees
Father. Activist. Canadian. Educational technology
01:35 PM on 02/04/2011
I'd like to add some thoughts as well.

Reading:
+5 points: Parent reads to their child every night
-5 points: Parent doesn't support their child's reading
-10 points: Parents finds child's books and burns them while chanting that they are a Fireman and they are only doing what is best for society (think Fahrenheit 451...)

Math:
+5 points: Parent helps their child find fun things to do involving math.
-5 points: Parent is apathetic about their child's ability to do math.
-10 points: Parent tells everyone they know how bad they are in math and why they think it is totally useless to learn.

Play:
+5 points: Child is given some time for outdoor play with their friends.
-5 points: Child is put in front of the television for hours on end.
-10 points: Parent micro-manages every minute of their child's life so they have no time for play, or for socializing with their friends.