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Lee Stranahan

Lee Stranahan

Posted: September 15, 2009 12:53 PM

Glenn Beck Awarded Honorary Doctorate From University Of I Don't Remember

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Distinguished Fox TV host, author and assface Glenn Beck was an awarded an honorary doctoral degree from the prestigious but secretive University of I Don't Remember, a leading conservative think tank that recently estimated the crowd at the Beck-sponsored 9/12 protest at 1.7 million. The University and Beck later clarified that they never said 1.7 million people, just "1.7 million" without any unit of measure so they're right, screw you, liar!

The award to Beck shed light on The University of I Don't Remember, a small-to-large sized institution that occupies several to many acres in one of the nation's fifty states. Up to now, not much was known about the University and what was known was widely disputed. What is clear is that the University is responsible for much of the research data that the modern Republican party uses.

Dean Vernon Vauge issued the following statement in disappearing ink late Monday night

We have a proud tradition of providing information and factoids to great conservative thinkers like Sarah Palin, Michael Savage and the people who write signs for teabagger rallies. We do this primarily through the world renowned Donald Rumsfeld School of Wild Guesstimates, which is entirely funded through private donations, the dreams of angry fatherless children and unicorn farts.

Beck was told he'd receive the degree in anonymous drop somewhere in Utah. Beck thanked the school and said he was 'thrilled' to have a degree that would give him 'magical powers.' He hoped to use the degree to make the world stop existing when he closed his eyes.

 
 

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Distinguished Fox TV host, author and assface Glenn Beck was an awarded an honorary doctoral degree from the prestigious but secretive University of I Don't Remember, a leading conservative think tank...
Distinguished Fox TV host, author and assface Glenn Beck was an awarded an honorary doctoral degree from the prestigious but secretive University of I Don't Remember, a leading conservative think tank...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gevan
the pilgrim has landed
12:09 PM on 09/17/2009
The University of I Forget can beat the pants off the University of I Don't Remember any day of the week.
07:25 PM on 09/16/2009
Thank you for the laugh! Very clever.
04:06 PM on 09/16/2009
Among my favorite songs of all time: Julie Brown, "I Like 'Em Big and Stupid," including the immortal lyric,

He's so stupid, ya know what he said?

Well, I forget what he said but it was *so stupid!*

Now this seems to be life imitating art! To the extent that this is *life*. Okay, he's just an entertainer, so we're back to imitation being the sincerest form of flattery . . .
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
John Ennis
Filmmaker, Activist, Some Dude.
12:52 PM on 09/16/2009
You can see Glenn Beck's diploma here!

http://www.johnennis.tv/blog/glenn-blecks-diploma-from-university-i-dont-remember/
11:43 AM on 09/16/2009
I got my doctorate from University of I Don't Remember. I'd show you my diploma, but I forgot where I put it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
momcat4obama
06:55 PM on 09/16/2009
mine's next to my Kenyan birth certificate.
10:29 AM on 09/16/2009
I was almost knocked out of my comfy chair when I heard that zero attribute his scientific findings to the University of I don't remember... WHOA !!! This is scary, there are people in this country who actually take this guy seriously. I think we should neuter him, and let the ignorance die with him.
what a shmuck!
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09:47 AM on 09/16/2009
You had me at "unicorn farts".
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DiogenesOfAlaska
Mitt Romney for president - of the Cayman islands!
04:12 AM on 09/16/2009
wonderful
09:54 PM on 09/15/2009
And their fight song is by Peter Gabriel.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
moveyourimage
09:14 PM on 09/15/2009
Even with a Degree from Whatumacallit U Beck still cannot count.
08:44 PM on 09/15/2009
LOL
that was great
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
lukebenward
08:40 PM on 09/15/2009
University of Wossamotta U?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wossamotta_U_(story_arc)
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DiogenesOfAlaska
Mitt Romney for president - of the Cayman islands!
04:09 AM on 09/16/2009
hilarious
07:40 PM on 09/15/2009
Great Satire :-)
06:50 PM on 09/15/2009
My cheeks hurt from laughing so hard! One of the funniest things I've ever read...
06:48 PM on 09/15/2009
1.7 million brain cells combined.