Obama Publicly Disassociates Himself From Hillary Clinton

In a hastily called press conference, Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama tonight disassociated in the strongest terms yet from his controversial colleague Hillary Clinton.

"The events of the past several days have made it clear that Senator Clinton is not helping my campaign one bit," Obama said, "This is a woman who I have previously said was a good candidate who I respected but apparently I didn't know her as well as I thought I did and from the way she misstates my positions, she doesn't know me that well, either. She does not speak for me or anyone in my campaign and from this point forward, any statements she makes should probably not be associated with the Democratic Party either."

The relationship between Obama and Clinton seemed close as recently as a few weeks ago and both have been seen together in public over twenty-one times in the past year. Obama has served in the Senate with Clinton for several years and prior to that, for eight years she was also the First Lady of the country that Obama comes from; The United States of America, located in North America. Obama and his wife were also married just prior to Clinton's husband winning the 1992 election. Critics have asked why Obama waited so long to rid himself of any ties to the controversial Senator.

Obama's decision followed several days where Senator Clinton seemed to have gone out of her way to seek the public spotlight, much to the embarrassment of Obama and many Democrats. She said in an interview that she would "obliterate" Iran, talked about a gas holiday that had no support from even economists favorable to Senator Clinton, and did a goofy-ass interview with Fox News sage Bill O'Reilly.

There had also been several disturbing references about Hillary Clinton, a female, having testicles that were made all the more disturbing by coming from Clinton supporters such as James Carville. The Clinton campaign has refused to either confirm or deny these reports, with spokesman Howard Wolfson saying, "You go ahead and ask her. Ask to check it out yourself. Go right ahead, pal."

Adding to the controversy, Obama campaign manager David Axelrod pointed out that dozens and dozens of nude pictures of Senator Hillary Clinton have appeared on the photo site Flickr for anyone typing the name "Hillary Clinton" in the search box and manually looking at galleries for a bit until you find some. Experts at the Massachusetts Institute Of Technology's Computer Graphics Group called the photos "wicked bad Photoshop stuff" that were "so wicked gross I had run to the packy and buy some Peppermint Schnapps just to get the images of my mind." The expert emphasized his point by simulating the process of choking himself with two of his own fingers, the middle and index.

Axelrod agreed the photos were probably fake but said he just wanted to "mention them."

Comments

[RFI]

Outrageous post. Hillary is not a male, as far as I know.

[Leota2]

Funny as hell . . . .
Wonderful way to start the day.
Thanks Lee!

[warisa4letterword]

Just sitting in this here duck blind with my gramps -- just waiting for some real honkers to come along, complaining how wrong this article is and whining that the writer should get his facts straight; then, I'll just whip out my six-shooters and laugh until I wet myself. Nice job, Lee!

[scrutiny1]

Priceless!!!!

[mrmemory]

HILLARY '08!!!

[scrutiny1]

HILLARY '08!!! ?????

You and the five other deluded people who still find a reason to vote for Hillary.

[ldsrapha]

LOL! 5? You think there are five out there still that weren't insulted by her latest pandering?

[polish]

Better than voting for Obama who's full of it and can't win the presidency, McCain will crush him.

[SCG]

I love how your mind works, great point!

[ellen63]

ellen63 is I, Patricia Burstein. Forgot to sign my name, which I always do, to my post.

[mommamia526]

Lee, this is wickedly good stuff! Yes, this is just about how Americans reason when voting for the Presidency!

[rsg5354]

good article.

[RobtBrock]

Lee, you should stop smoking and get a job.

[Lee Stranahan - Huffpost Blogger]

Sorry, Mr. Wolfson.

[PennP]

No way! Whatever it is, keep the fire burning, and don't forget to inhale.

You made it worth my while to stay up to nearly 2:30 in the morning. Thanks.

[bos123]

Very Good.

[mabs0]

Brilliant!

[Gma11]

Love it!!

[Knowledge]

Mrs Huffington rocks!! :-0