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Orgasmic Birth: The Natural Reality Behind The Hype

Posted: 01/03/09 01:09 AM ET

Orgasmic Birth certainly is a grabber of a title. Those aren't two words normally found close together in a sentence. In our culture, other adjectives are more common. Painful Childbirth. Traumatic Childbirth.

So it's no surprise that Debra Pascalli-Bonaro's film Orgasmic Birth has become the center of some controversy. It was featured on a segment of ABC's January 2nd episode of 20/20 about "Extreme Birth" and a few weeks ago The New York Times picked a up story on the movie, which caused a flurry of comments and sent a small shockwave through the blogosphere.

Pascalli-Bonaro says she wishes some critics who just seem to see the title would actually see the film.

"It's really about the range of choices women have for experiencing birth, some of which most women aren't even aware of. There are eleven couples featured in the movie. Some use words like 'pain' and 'fear' to describe their experience but others use 'transformative', 'blissful', and 'spiritual'. Two of them use the word 'orgasmic'. This sounds strange in our culture because we're used to seeing birth dealt with on an illness model, rather than a wellness model. Birth is part of a woman's sexual life."

Laura Shanley, author of the book Unassisted Childbirth was also featured on 20/20 and agrees with the premise of the film.
"There are benefits to the mother beyond helping them rid themselves of shame, fear and guilt. An orgasm is 22 times more powerful than a tranquilizer and during sexual arousal a woman's vagina can widen as much as two inches. When women find their power during the birth experience and learn to ride the contractions, it can be an incredible, even healing experience."

The 'normal' way that women in the United States give birth - laying prone in a room full of strangers - is not the natural way. It might even be the cause of some birth problems. Shanley cites a study that showed that when a stranger enters a room where a pregnant monkey is housed, :both the heart rate and the blood pressure of her fetus goes down. Of course, in the delivery room a drop in the heart rate of the baby often triggers a Cesarean section."

Shanley says that stress and 'fight or flight' reactions cause huge changes in a woman's body. "There's a reason that animals seek seclusion in birth. Everyone understands that being in a brightly lit room with a group of people watching you wouldn't make a comfortable environment for someone going to the bathroom or having sex. But for an equally intimate, personal activity like birth, people don't make the connection. Woman don't need to choose between drugs, epidurals, and Cesarean sections on one hand and fear of a natural but painful childbirth on the other. There really is a third way and it's more natural."

Pascali-Bonaro says that many changes to make birth a more pleasurable, healthy experience for women are simple and inexpensive. "Americans spend more money than any other country on medical care but that doesn't mean we're getting the best care. Simple things like dimming lights, allowing the mother creative space to move around and having music, natural sounds or even just silence can make a huge difference."

Ultimately, Pascali-Bonaro says that she's an advocate of mothers making informed birth choices. Since making the film, she's learned orgasmic birth is more common than she thought. "We've screened the movie in 28 countries and women always come up to me and 'You know, I never thought about it before...but I think I had one, too!'"

Lee Stranahan is writer, filmmaker and teacher who blogs at LeeStranahan.com. His wife Lauren gave birth to their two children as unassisted, at-home births.

 
 
 

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Orgasmic Birth certainly is a grabber of a title. Those aren't two words normally found close together in a sentence. In our culture, other adjectives are more common. Painful Childbirth. Traumatic Ch...
Orgasmic Birth certainly is a grabber of a title. Those aren't two words normally found close together in a sentence. In our culture, other adjectives are more common. Painful Childbirth. Traumatic Ch...
 
 
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01:44 PM on 01/07/2009
I have a three month old baby. we had planned on a home birth and then discovered that our baby was a "footling breech". we tried lots of different things to turn it around to no avail. unfortunately i had to have a c-section...however, i was able to wait until i went into "labour". when this happened my first thought was "this is kind of uncomfortable" and then i shifted my mind, it was an incredible, powerful thing to do. i rode the waves of contractions, and enjoyed the spaces between the contractions, i did it all by myself, humming and rocking, exploring different positions. when it felt right, i called my midwife, my partner and i headed over to the hospital, i found i was 7 cm dilated (in less than 4 hours) and continued to 8 cm, then had my c-section as we knew the dangers involved in having a natural footling breech birth.in less than 30 hours i was back home.
birth is going to be different for all. for some a painful experience, for others blissful and joyful. having said that, we have given labor a bad rap, and the process of birth has become so caught up in the medical system, that it is hard to find the bliss in it, as we are so scared of the "pain". i never thought of it as pain, i experienced sensations, they had no name, they just were.
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Shotgun Mary
There is nothing about Mary
09:18 AM on 01/05/2009
I'm 24 weeks pregnant and I intend to give birth in my home with my midwife and my husband present. Prior to becoming pregnant I never realized how much competition there was between women on this subject. I hesitate to tell women that I never had morning sickness, or that I've only gained 6 lbs. One woman looked like she wanted to beat me up! Its like my happy pregnancy is perceived as a criticism of their less than happy experience. If I tell a woman who has had a c-sectiont that I'm having a home birth, they tell me things like, "oh well, you'll go to the hospital anyway" or "I would have died if not (insert crazy medical intervention here)." I also love the horror story followed by the question "doesn't that make you nervous?" or the sonogram tech who asked "well have you even asked her (the midwife) about what she does in case of complications?" I've discovered that none of these people are actually worried about me or my baby, but instead they're concerned about what might be thought of them if someone has a birth experience that is not an infant removal in a hospital setting.
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jillsond
03:28 PM on 01/05/2009
If I had listened to half the people giving me advice about my pregnancies and births, I wouldn't have worked to term (as a massage therapist) and I wouldn't have had a home birth.

I had two hospital births and the last was done at home with my husband, a midwife and her attendant. It was amazing being home, eating food I prepared, being in my own bed, and welcoming our son into the world in our bedroom!

People who are uneducated about the safety of home births will try to dissuade you and erroneously believe hospital births are safer. I don't begrudge a woman's choice to have a hospital birth, of course. My experience with the home birth was exquisite for me and my husband.

I hope your pregnancy continues to go well! Just an afterthought to this article and the possibility of having an orgasmic experience: in hindsight, the actual pushing and delivery of all three of my babies was something I could compare to orgasmic. It was an amazing sensation, and kind of the reward for all the waiting and contractions that let up to it. Just saying...
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happycat
No bio needed. My cuteness speaks for itself.
04:28 PM on 01/05/2009
I for one am concerned for your health. This is your first pregnancy and anything can happen from the mundane to the most difficult. Have your baby in the hospital just in case. I had both of my kids in the hospital with around the clock medical care. My daughter had a lot of fluid in her lungs right after the birth, and thankfully the neonatal specialists were there for her. Also the pain is unbearable. There is nothing SEXY or ORGASMIC about labor pain. I watched the 20/20 special the other night and felt as if I was in some parallel universe.

You might change your mind once you are confronted with the actual pain of childbirth and want an epidural. Then again, you might not. If your dream is to have a water birth, you can find a doctor and a hospital where that is acceptable.

My sister-in law would have died along with her baby if it were not for a last minute C-Section. The medical professionals that you have encountered want what is in the best interest of you and your baby. I hope that you keep that in mind.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Lee Stranahan
Filmmakers, Writer, Dessert Topping
07:32 PM on 01/05/2009
I'd agree that you're a parallel universe; you're in one where every pregnancy is life threatening and painful and dangerous...and you see woman for whom birth is safe and enjoyable and even sexy.

What's sort of weird is that you want to take these happy women out of their universe and bring them into yours, especially when they don't seem that interested in going. Have you considered that they might know something that you don't, not vice versa?
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Shotgun Mary
There is nothing about Mary
08:52 AM on 01/06/2009
Much of my decision has to do with the fact that I live in an area with not alot of choices. There isn't a "birth center" anywhere for more than 150 miles. What I do have is a hospital less than three blocks away with a c-section rate that is astronomical. Out of five young and healthy friends that have recently given birth only ONE has been allowed to deliver naturally. All five were induced. And as so many of them are told, once a c-section, always a c-section. One could argue that every one of those c-sections was necessary to save their lives but I'm skeptical. There's a reason why the WHO says a 30% c-section rate is too high. My midwife travels with a mini triage kit in her bag. She can take care of everything up to an emergency c-section. I have a backup doctor at the hospital who has signed off on my care and he will be notified as soon as I go into labor. I am not afraid of the pain. I expect childbirth to be painful but I don't see why it has to be unbearable. If it were unbearable then none of us would be here. I trust my body, my midwife and the Dr. who has no problem with me giving birth at home. I am comfortable with our amount of preparation and I am honestly looking forward to labor and giving birth.
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jillsond
10:57 PM on 01/04/2009
This is a fantastic article.

I'm amazed at most of the comments. Are women truly that out of touch with their sexuality and bodies that they are ready to fight the concept of orgasm during birth.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if our daughters could actually enjoy their births, instead of going in hardwired to believe birthing is a clinical, painful, dreadful process that requires drugs and days and days of recovery?

Sex and the female orgasm should stop being sources of shame and ridicule. Particularly from one woman to another. This article is intended to empower women and celebrate what our bodies are capable of. Women DO experience pleasurable births. It's a fact!
11:28 PM on 01/04/2009
So this is what you are going to tell your daughter. "Honey, when you have your baby, it's going to be a really pleasurable experience, just like sex and it is going to feel so good, you'll probably have an orgasm while the baby's being born. When it's all over, it's so easy, you won't need any recovery time." You think that is empowering?

Empowering women is being truthful and supporting them before during and after birth. Giving birth is a great and moving experience but it's not what you are describing.
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jillsond
12:01 AM on 01/05/2009
I've given birth three times. No drugs, no fear. While I didn't experience an orgasmic birth, I certainly didn't experience what you think every woman should.

My daughters will hopefully research all their options and decide for themselves what path they take. There's so much positive, encouraging, new and old, information to absorb on so many levels. They certainly won't hear the sentence you put in italics from me.
I think it's empowering for women to not fear childbirth, absolutely. Fear tends to get in the way of the process.

If you read the article clearly, you'll see a really valuable message. Sex, orgasm, and birth are all interconnected for a reason. Some women experience orgasm during birth. Why is that so intimidating to you, and why are you so angry?

With all due respect, if you let go of some of your hang-ups about what you think is the ONLY way childbirth occurs, you might just open your world to a zillion opportunities.
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happycat
No bio needed. My cuteness speaks for itself.
04:28 PM on 01/05/2009
I agree. It fuc*ing hurts! Thank goodness for the epidural!
12:48 PM on 01/04/2009
The author says women tell her they "think" they had one, too. If you have to "think" about it, you didn't have one. If some weird man was leaning all over me and kissing me while I'm having a baby, I would pay to have him punched out. Making babies is called "LABOR' for a reason, it's really hard exhausting work. Their is no comfortable position for giving birth, it hurts no matter how you position yourself . It is rewarding and thrilling when it's over because you bring forth your child.

This kind of stuff is demeaning to women. Women do so many fantastic things including having babies and this is what gets all kind of press.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Lee Stranahan
Filmmakers, Writer, Dessert Topping
02:32 PM on 01/04/2009
So if some weird man is ordering you around during the delivery process, that's okay because he's a doctor? In your scenario, the 'weird man' you're punching out is the father of the child....

And it's demeaning to women to empower them?
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
rini
Physician & mother..struggling musician
03:29 PM on 01/04/2009
Yeah, but try "riding out" a contraction induced with pitocin. The pain is so incredible that you feel like you are going to pass out. All I could do was writhe. i couldn't walk it off, or get more comfortable. Post surgery and fractures hurt much less.

I had to have the induction with my first because my water broke more than 24 hours earlier and I was not progressing fast enough. I actually was at home for most of the time, so the hospital was not to blame. My second child was without induction. Still, the pain was incredible. The epidural wore off, so I felt him come through. I was like "This is not supposed to happen. The geometry is not right! How can this be normal?" What do you know, though, I had no vaginal tears or anything. It all worked out.
03:30 PM on 01/04/2009
No one ordered me around Mr. Man. The midwife, nurses, Dr. and father that were there were wonderful and supportive without anybody hanging on to me. Birth is a natural and somewhat fearsome process that requires everything you've got physically and mentally to go through. So someone hanging on to you and trying to kiss you as you go through it would warrant being punched out.

Trying to sexualize such a powerful and fierce experience by trivializing it as orgasmic is demeaning and not empowering. I think childbirth is powerful and we women are warriors, you wouldn't be able to tolerate it. Headline that Mr. Sensitivity.
07:19 PM on 01/04/2009
"Making babies is called "LABOR' for a reason," Um, making babies is called a lot of things, but this is the first I've heard it referred to as labor. Maybe you meant to say when a woman is in the actual process of having a baby it is called a labor of love? When I do that thing that makes babies, it does not feel like labor at all.
10:36 PM on 01/04/2009
Labor is the process of birthing a baby. It is an act of love but if you think it doesn't hurt or it's not hard then you must have had a lot of drugs for your delivery.
10:56 PM on 01/03/2009
This is a fine opportunity to perfect the art of the fake orgasm. The ultimate test is 4 hours of back labor with a man hanging all over you. (check out the videos online).

I suppose if this is the only way that you might experience an orgasm, then great, go for it. I think it would be easier to just learn how to have a vaginal orgasm without a 7 lb. human as the stimulus.
09:53 PM on 01/03/2009
Great post. Thank you for helping to demystify the natural birth experience. I had a highly medicalized birth and an all-natural birth, and felt like a million bucks after the latter--it would be so awesome if our culture would embrace birth and breastfeeding choices that improve our health and that of our children, and result in us feeling empowered. Listen, if it could be hip to drive a Prius just a few years after the Hummer was in, anything is possible!
By the way, dragger201, deaths from natural childbirth are not high in industrialized countries like the U.S. . . . it's not fair to compare to Afghanistan, where the mortality rate is probably off the charts in all categories!
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jillsond
01:33 AM on 01/05/2009
You are a great woman. I read your profile and think your crusade is very much needed. I've argued a LOT for breastfeeding her on Huffpo. It's just perplexing how antiquated notions surrounding breastfeeding persist in this country. Impressive work!
07:55 AM on 01/03/2009
While I agree that in many ways we have gone to far on the medical side and need to back up a tiny bit and put back the "human' in human births...........it should be noted that "natural" childbirth is all to common and that the mortality rates for mothers is pretty high..........like 1 in 6 in places like Afghanistan.

Yeah, I'm a guy..........and I'm selfish. Between my wife and 3 daughters, over 6 children have been born.............and somehow I just don't relish the idea that any of them should have died because of "natural" childbirth.............
02:17 AM on 01/03/2009
I gotta admit, as a guy I'm feeling a bit squeamish on this one, but I think it's great if women are searching for ways to make birth a better experience. Only in the "developed" countries is it like a medical extraction. I wish all mothers-to-be a great experience!
01:42 AM on 01/03/2009
There is a growing percentage of hospitals that have moved towards a more comfortable birthing environment instead of the typical hospital room. The newer options are more like bedrooms or suites, with many amentities, which can make the process more intimate and less stressful.

Intimate enough for an orgasmic birth? Maybe, if they include jungle themes, bear skin rugs, and someone else actually having the baby/