Petition to Boycott Kellogg's for Treatment of Michael Phelps

To: Kellogg's Corporation

Whereas...

1) Kellogg's is a major manufacturer of cereal and junk food products including but not limited to Frosted Flakes, Pop Tarts, Cheez-Its, Froot Loops, Keebler's Cookies, Rice Krispies, Eggo Frozen Waffles, Famous Amos Cookies and many other products known to be a part of the diet of many marijuana using Americans

2) The Kellogg's has profited for decades on the food tastes of marijuana using Americans with the munchies. In fact, we believe that most people over the age of twelve would not eat Kellogg's products were they not wicked high.

3)That Kellogg's has decided to end their relationship with Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps after pictures of him surfaced doing exactly what most Kellogg's customers do right before enjoying a bowl of Rice Krispies mixed with Keebler Cookies with an Eggo on top.

4) That this action by Kellogg's, while legal, is totally bogus.

5) That Kellogg's is a big fat hypocrite, just like our parents when they found our stash under our mattress and took it and then later they sat in the living room and listened the Dark Side Of The Moon over and over and danced and laughed and I swear we smelled something.

6) That a quick Wikipedia search shows the founder of Kellogg's - john Harvey Kellogg - was a total frickin' weirdo who believe in putting children's genitals in a cage to keep them from playing with themselves and also believed in yogurt enemas.

7) That seriously, just Google John Harvey Kellogg. Dude was freaky.

8) That the thing about yogurt enemas makes us want to hurl when we look at that box of Kellogg's Yogos we have in the pantry.

9) That Michael Phelps should totally drop YOU dudes for your obsession with bran and fiber and masturbation and butts and stuff. You drop HIM? Dude won eight gold medals and probably didn't stick a single one in his butt or tie it in tourniquet around his naughty bits. Dude was just trying to relax. Seriously Kellogg's, WTF?

Given all these facts and the total disregard for your customer base and that thing with the yogurt, we the undersigned plan to BOYCOTT your products.

And we're serious.

Even though the Pop Tarts thing will be HARD.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

Click Here To Sign The Petition

 

 

 

Follow Lee Stranahan on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Stranahan

Comments

[toniablack]

08:49 AM on 02/20/2009

I have decided to just say no to kellogg's. Who among us has not ever made a mistake? I am thinking maybe Mr. Phelps did not have a normal childhood. While we were testing the waters. Experiment­ing with pot or the opposite sex or whatever. Mr. Phelps was in the water working his well toned ass off. wow and all his hard work paid off. he brought the gold home. how many? EIGHT for the US. Way to go Mr. Phelps. You are an American Hero. If you would like to take a break, celebrate, or even pat yourself on the back. I believe you have earned the right to do so.

[Aramarcal]

09:44 PM on 02/09/2009

I will definitely boycott Kelloggs and all of their products ... That crap is really bad for you! Way worse than some pot....

[TruEngineHearing]

07:15 AM on 02/09/2009

Kellogs Is For Slow People.

I am totally steamed on this issue. Kellogs can keep its middle-Ame­rican insults and idiocy to itself. Don't waste any money trying to get me to eat a Kellogs product - it ain't gonna happen ever again.

I asked my local, popular, breakfast cafe to stop stocking Kellogs. Don't know how they'll react, but there were a lot of young folks in that place yesterday morning and they agreed - loudly!

[hartles]

03:56 PM on 02/08/2009

There's still DORITOS and the Frito Lay line. That stuff is just as good for the MUNCHIES. And healthier. for all the vegan organic type of weed consumers. I think all that's still in a Frito is corn, salt and corn oil.

But why are people do people want to boycott just until Kellogg's "reinstate­s" him. Like, he would really go back there! Boycott 'em forever. Boycott them because they made you fat. Whatever.

About the Pop Tarts being so hard to quit -- maybe because they are somewhat "addictive­" in some respect.

[StuntDummy]

02:52 AM on 02/08/2009

I am already calling and writing to Kellogg to let them know that I am boycotting all Kellogg products (yes, even Pop Tarts which will be hard but I love Phelps and weed way more than any stupid tart).

Does anybody know how to write to Phelps to show my support? I do not want to harrass the poor guy but I just want to tell him not to retire over this nonsense and that he has the support of more people than he probably realizes (not just stoned bums, but millions of average young americans like me who PREFER a toke or two of relatively harmless marijuana with positive social side effects OVER dangerousl­y intoxicati­ng alcohol with SEVERELY negative social side effects.

I probably won't even discuss my pot smoking in my letter to him... just tell him that I am a computer science graduate school student who is willing to support his career by boycotting Kelloggs and products of any other sponsor who drops him over this.

[hartles]

10:13 PM on 02/07/2009

The author's words ..."That Kellogg's is a big fat hypocrite" is kind of a nice touch since Kelloggs makes you big and fat. Their products should carry a warning label..."W­arning: this product will make you BIG and FAT.

[karbon]

08:47 PM on 02/07/2009

I'd rather take a bong hit that put any of Kellogs carcinogen­ic, sugar-ladd­en chemical concoction­s in my body. Rather a creative high than a sugar high, any day!

[hartles]

09:24 PM on 02/07/2009

Your lucky you can do it! I tried it and yes, inhaled but unfortunat­ely I can not tolerate the smoke. The desired effect sounds quite nice though.

[hartles]

08:29 PM on 02/07/2009

There are MUCH better reasons to boycott Kelloggs than Michael Phelps. This is just good timing.

You can join the boycott without admitting support for Michael's mistake which as far is we know was appearing in a photo with a suspicious object. Join the boycott because Kelloggs is pushing substances known to kill -- TRANS FATS and HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP.

Kelloggs is doing Michael a favor. Hopefully, Michael will join the boycott. Look what he's accomplish­ed on THAT diet. Can you imagine what he might be capable of if he consumed 12,000 cal/day of QUALITY FUEL-- that is truly a scary thought. Athens -- 6 GOLDS; Beijing -- 8 GOLDS; London -- 10 GOLDS?

Michael, please join the movements against trans fats and high fructose corn syrup. You could save millions from diabetes and heart disease. Athens -- 6 GOLDS; Beijing -- 8 GOLDS; London -- 10 GOLDS!

Set a good example for America's youth and don't eat Kelloggs. Please don't retire over this nonsense!

[mrpotatoe]

06:25 PM on 02/07/2009

To avoid confusion.­..check out:

www.ask.co­m/bar?q=Ke­lloggs&pag­e=1&qsrc=6­&zoom=Kell­ogg's+Pop+Tar­ts|Kellogg­s+Diet|Kel­logg's+Cha­racters&ab­=1&u=http%­3A

Lists all of the products sold by this hypocritic­al servant-of­-the-Dark-­Side corporatio­n.

Don't buy any of them. Anymore. Ever.

[Indo001]

05:27 PM on 02/07/2009

The people who manufactur­e a product laced with a glorified drug (white refined sugar) that causes obesity , ill health and death to thousands of people and who target kids in the marketing of this product...­.are very upset because he smoked pot which to date has caused...z­ero deaths....­makes total sense....

[Reading]

05:18 PM on 02/07/2009

Not to be a Debbie Downer or deny the IDEA of Kellogg's founder being a yogurt-ene­ma advocate and pro-genita­l mutilation is hilarious, but John Harvey Kellogg isn't William Keith Kellogg. Reading the pages of Wikipedia explains that William and John had a HUGE falling out when Will wanted to add sugar to the cereal and John went mad at the idea of tainting his intestines­.

Apart from that: Phelps is still a great athlete, pot or no, and I'm disappoint­ed in Kellogg's decision.

[garbacue09]

03:24 PM on 02/07/2009

Frickin' A.

[Mitch McFadden]

09:38 AM on 02/07/2009

So... how the hell are we supposed to make our Pot Rice Crispies Treats?

[RadicalRuss]

12:52 AM on 02/07/2009

Your responsibl­e adult marijuana consumers lobby, NORML, is on the case! A serious boycott of Kellogg's calling on consumers to take photos of themselves destroying their Kellogg's products or otherwise expressing disappoint­ment (like holding a sign) over Kellogg's decision to drop Phelps.
---
Please do not go buy a Kellogg's product in order to make the photo! That kind of defeats the purpose!
---
Send your photos to stash 'at' norml dot org with the subject "Boycott Kellogg's"­. They will be posted at the NORML Kellogg's Boycott page at http://sta­sh.norml.o­rg/boycott­kelloggs
---
Russ Belville
Host - NORML Daily Audio Stash

[Feanor]

11:23 PM on 02/06/2009

Yes, I'm boycotting Kellogg's because of this.

No, I'm not going to sign this petition, which treats the whole thing like a big joke.