There is a new breed of tube-topped-tongue-pierced stalker hanging around the locker room after the game and backstage after the concert. She's lurking when the campaigners have filed out and the bar is quieter. Except the thing is, she doesn't have to physically be there batting her eyes and thrusting her cleavage at your man. This stalker hangs out at home, in front of the computer or on her BlackBerry, trolling the Internet and lying in wait for men with her seductive bbms and tempting sexts.
Oh no, ladies. I'm not suggesting the men aren't guilty. The Anthony Weiners and John Edwards, the Elliott Spitzers and Arnolds, they all let their overblown hubris and ego and yes-sayers take them to a place that's impossible for the average civilian to comprehend. A place of Mount Olympus-man-Godliness. And the average guy brain? Flattery could get a woman everywhere. Especially after a decade of marriage.
But what I'm saying is, these women aren't innocents. They are professional hunters with the target in sight. Monica Lewinsky's tilted beret, the 21-year-old Weiner-tweeter from Seattle voted "most likely to be in a tabloid scandal," these gals know exactly what they are doing. Today's reality shows, the instant celeb self-promoters like Snooki or Kim Kardashian, have given promise to the girl from Nebraska or upstate New York that if she can just capture the twitter stream for 15 minutes, she too might find herself on the cover of US Weekly.
These social media stalkers are everywhere. How does a gal combat the trolling old girlfriend from Facebook? How do you fight something that to some man-brains can start off so "innocently" and move to sexts at warp speed? The easy access we have with the Internet and social media allows outsiders to breach the perimeter in incremental ways. And before we know it, perhaps our men are flipping through homemade sorority nudie shots on their BlackBerries.
Of course, you say, trust, communication and honesty are all part of this equation. And they absolutely are. And every one of us has our own boundaries in any relationship regarding what's acceptable, how much leash you let out and where you stand on snooping. But people are people. They are human and therefore fallible. As a prominent male doctor friend of mine said -- men are born with two heads, but they can only think with one at a time.
No matter how sterling a partner's behavior or ethics are -- it's the very disciplined person on a bad day who orders cottage cheese, gets a hot fudge sundae and sends it back. But wasn't it Paul Newman who famously said, "Why would I have hamburger out if I get steak at home?"
The world needs more Pauls and less Anthony Weiners.
But cyber-stalkers are the new reality. They circle without the need to even apply mascara, buy the bus ticket to the arena or hotel, or seduce the security guarding the access. They can communicate on a regular and sustained basis -- waging a kind of media campaign in the mistaken belief that they are having an intimate and ongoing relationship.
So women, wake up. I certainly don't have the answers, but I suppose, in the end, no one is completely safe. Men or women for that matter. Each of us will combat this threat in our own way. Knowledge is power. But wait; hang on a tick -- I have to ask my husband something,
"Honey. Where is your BlackBerry?"
Cyberstalking - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Cyberstalking: A New Challenge for Law Enforcement and Industry
Their parteners can't go about checking their phones 24/7 this would be crazy.
In modern marriage, with our society's right-minded emphasis on improving the lives of women, it is unfortunately becoming the man who must be the one to "SUFFER IN SILENCE." If women had their way, we would alllllwayyyss just play by the rules they set for us. Women then choose one of us, and by convention we are stuck if we fall for the Marriage Trap. Our sexuality becomes defined by them, put into the same Cage that women have complained about for, oh, Millennia.
Women's liberation is about getting rid of Male Control over Women's Issues, right? Is it that the women just want to be the controllers?
I say NO to the idea that living a lie (that men are not sexual beings who should be pleased by their wives) is better for "the children." Women are the purveyors of guilt and shame, it seems, and men latch on to this behavior when they see it as advantageous for them (all the Republicans calling for Weiner's head).
We need a new open and frank discussion between the sexes about what family life really looks like in a liberated society. Liberation of humanity is a totality, not just a "now women run the show under the same old system of familial units."
People shouldn't be smashed (like losing their jobs & careers) simply because they make sexual decisions that we might not approve of, as long as no laws were broken and the behavior doesn't impact negatively on their job performance.
Bush gang War crimes! must revere!
The solution is more steak at home.
We have bumps and dents and nerve endings that give sensations.
We have self-manufactured narcotic "juices" in our systems.
We are hard-wired to reproduce and the process was made to be pleasant and almost irresistable.
So why did "we" create obstacles, mazes, games, laws and taboos around the most basic human function–beyond breathing, drinking water, eating, elimination of waste and sleeping?
The answer is; "CONTROL." Typical for our species, the jealous, envious or miserable "cannots" have banded together to manufacture all manner of Shibboleths and Taboos, supposedly based on some moral principles, when they are mostly just refined whinges and elementary neurolinguistic programming. And most of the (presumably-male) politicians get more sexual gratification out of daydreaming about the Palins, Coulters and Bachmanns than they do about their own spouses. Much of this vicarious denial of sexual tantalization is pure envy, far more than morality. But morality sells very little merchandise.
The modern woman dumps the Paul Newman because his fidelity no longer makes him a challenge, and therefore boring. The cyberstalker, like women in general, seeks constant stimulation or titillation. Making plans, keeping commitments ....these are dull. Men, recognizing this, withhold fidelity, and stoke a downward spiral of mistrust and selfishness.
http://www.popeater.com/2011/01/12/sting-harpers-bazaar/
All in all, I liked last century better.
The Romans sure did like their porn, didn't they!
Dave/
Okay, that does include the Book of Solomon....
He was emotionally vulnerable to ego strokes from women he never met in person. The distance of it made him feel safe.