There is a new breed of tube-topped-tongue-pierced stalker hanging around the locker room after the game and backstage after the concert. She's lurking when the campaigners have filed out and the bar is quieter. Except the thing is, she doesn't have to physically be there batting her eyes and thrusting her cleavage at your man. This stalker hangs out at home, in front of the computer or on her BlackBerry, trolling the Internet and lying in wait for men with her seductive bbms and tempting sexts.
Oh no, ladies. I'm not suggesting the men aren't guilty. The Anthony Weiners and John Edwards, the Elliott Spitzers and Arnolds, they all let their overblown hubris and ego and yes-sayers take them to a place that's impossible for the average civilian to comprehend. A place of Mount Olympus-man-Godliness. And the average guy brain? Flattery could get a woman everywhere. Especially after a decade of marriage.
But what I'm saying is, these women aren't innocents. They are professional hunters with the target in sight. Monica Lewinsky's tilted beret, the 21-year-old Weiner-tweeter from Seattle voted "most likely to be in a tabloid scandal," these gals know exactly what they are doing. Today's reality shows, the instant celeb self-promoters like Snooki or Kim Kardashian, have given promise to the girl from Nebraska or upstate New York that if she can just capture the twitter stream for 15 minutes, she too might find herself on the cover of US Weekly.
These social media stalkers are everywhere. How does a gal combat the trolling old girlfriend from Facebook? How do you fight something that to some man-brains can start off so "innocently" and move to sexts at warp speed? The easy access we have with the Internet and social media allows outsiders to breach the perimeter in incremental ways. And before we know it, perhaps our men are flipping through homemade sorority nudie shots on their BlackBerries.
Of course, you say, trust, communication and honesty are all part of this equation. And they absolutely are. And every one of us has our own boundaries in any relationship regarding what's acceptable, how much leash you let out and where you stand on snooping. But people are people. They are human and therefore fallible. As a prominent male doctor friend of mine said -- men are born with two heads, but they can only think with one at a time.
No matter how sterling a partner's behavior or ethics are -- it's the very disciplined person on a bad day who orders cottage cheese, gets a hot fudge sundae and sends it back. But wasn't it Paul Newman who famously said, "Why would I have hamburger out if I get steak at home?"
The world needs more Pauls and less Anthony Weiners.
But cyber-stalkers are the new reality. They circle without the need to even apply mascara, buy the bus ticket to the arena or hotel, or seduce the security guarding the access. They can communicate on a regular and sustained basis -- waging a kind of media campaign in the mistaken belief that they are having an intimate and ongoing relationship.
So women, wake up. I certainly don't have the answers, but I suppose, in the end, no one is completely safe. Men or women for that matter. Each of us will combat this threat in our own way. Knowledge is power. But wait; hang on a tick -- I have to ask my husband something,
"Honey. Where is your BlackBerry?"
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