Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Season 2, Episode 3 of HBO's "Girls" titled "Bad Friend."
The tagline for Season 2 of "Girls" is "almost getting it kind of together." As Season 2 rolls on, it's becoming increasingly clear that Hannah, Marnie, Shoshanna, and Jessa's lives are sloppily pulled together messes. In one episode, a neat little bow is perching atop their twenty-something lives, and in the next, everything is in pieces.
In the spirit of keeping this perfect tagline alive throughout the Season 2 of "Girls," I have instated a "togetherness" ranking system. With 1 being the least together and 10 being the most together, see how each of the girls scored in this week's episode "Bad Friend."
Hannah: Hannah is great with shock value. From her compromising sexual positions and revealing outfits to her opinionated nature, Hannah always gets some kind of rise out of the viewers and fellow characters.
But with her "dare to be different attitude" comes a multitude of bad decisions, like when she decides to do coke with her roommate Elijah because an editor at an unknown website asks her to write a piece about doing something outside her comfort zone. Hannah decides snorting cocaine is the best route, so she buys some from her ex-junkie neighbor Laird (Laird? Really?) who often hangs out by the mailbox and has "always wanted to do something for Hannah."
Donning a tiny tank with pictures of fruit on it and a pair of shorty shorts -- which, as she tells Marnie, she could wear for the rest of her life and offend almost no one -- Hannah and Elijah snort an impressive amount of coke and head to a rave in an attempt to have the kind of night where "it's like 5 a.m. and one of us has definitely punched someone who's been on a Disney Channel show."
Hannah soon finds herself in a fellow raver's yellow mesh top with no bra, dancing to Icona Pop's "I Love It" and thinking about how awesome her life is. "I usually hate when you you wear your nipples out in public like that, but you looks so beautiful, Hannah," Elijah says, before whisking Hannah off to the bathroom.
As Hannah and Elijah get to work on doing lines off of Elijah's Colorado driver's license, Elijah let's it slip that he "f***ed" Marnie. Just like that, the coke spell is broken and Hannah is furious. The two head to CVS, where they realize Laird has been stalking them. His stalking venture is partly because he's jealous that they're high and he's not, but also because he wants to protect her like the mom in "Extremely Close And Extremely Loud."
Hannah is equally angry with Marnie so she texts her only to find out she's with Booth Jonathan, the artist who sparked the infamous masturbation scene in Season 1. Hannah immediately heads to Booth's apartment, Laird and Elijah in tow, where she makes Marnie cry by telling her what a bad friend she is.
Oh, and she tells Elijah he's moving out and makes out with Laird in the hallway ... for her article, of course.
Hannah's doing a pretty shitty job of getting it together. She's running around Brooklyn on drugs with her nipples out, she's now driven out two roommates (could the problem be her?), she's making her friends cry, and she's still unemployed.
Overall Togetherness: 2.
Shoshanna: Shoshanna doesn't have much to complain about these days. Not only is she having sex, but she has a boyfriend. And since she's in school, I can't even rag on her unemployed-and-doing-nothing-about-it attitude. Shoshanna only appeared once in "Bad Friend," but she made her mark by complaining about Ray's "Ally McBeal" obsession and telling Hannah with certainty that junkies "totally hang out by the mailbox."
Now that she's gotten rid of her v-card, good ol' Sosh kind of has it all. She hasn't yet entered a world in which she'll have to job hunt or pay her own rent, so for a 21-year-old, yeah, she almost has it kind of together.
Overall Togetherness: 8.
Oh Marnie. Marnie, Marnie, Marnie. Just when I was rooting for you, you turned around and screwed yourself over.
Let's start with her first day of work. She was doing a great job flirting with creepy old men in her slutty hostess uniform until she spotted Booth Jonathan, who Hannah described as "that tiny smeedge of an artist." Booth tells her that she "looks like the kind of person who's about to have sex with him" and she leaves -- in the middle of her shift -- to go to his creepy (but huge!) apartment where he locks her in his art project.
Yes, you read that right. He locks her in his art project: a tiny, hellish room where babies are crying on TV screens and Duncan Sheik's "Barely Breathing" is blasting. When he finally lets her out, she tells him he's "so fucking talented" and they have sex.
The sex is weird and terrible. This is mostly because Booth asks Marnie to "describe the doll" near his bed which would likely make most type-A girls burst into tears immediately. Marnie, however, finds it thrilling and funny.
Yes, Marnie has officially entered the realm of self-destruction. She's now in some kind of relationship with a pretentious, emotionally unavailable artist and likely lost her new job because, again, she left in the middle of her shift to have sex.
Overall togetherness: 4 ... but only because she didn't do coke.
Like Soshanna, Jessa's air time was sparse this episode. She only appeared in one scene, in which Hannah asks her where she can get cocaine.
But that makes sense because Jessa's the go-to bad girl, making her togetherness hard to gauge these days. She appears to be blissfully happy with Thomas-John, but we're all waiting for Jessa to explode and revert to her unpredictable ways.
Overall togetherness: 7.5
"Girls" airs on Sundays at 9 p.m. EST on HBO.