Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Episode 6 of Girls Season 3, titled "Free Snacks."
This week on "Girls," all the girls started taking life a little more seriously. Hannah landed a job at GQ, Jessa is employed, Marnie and Ray are having some semblance of a relationship and Shoshanna's ready to put her wild months behind her and find a boyfriend.
They may be headed in the right direction, but "Free Snacks" wasn't without its challenges. Because in the world of "Girls," free snacks always come with a price, and the guy you want to date is always too dumb to find the library.
With 10 being the most self-involved and 1 being the least, see how each of the girls scored in Season 3, Episode 6 of Girls titled "Free Snacks."
"Do you think this is the best use of my literary voice and myriad talents?" Hannah asks Ray when she's tells him she's quitting her job as a barista to write for GQ magazine. She's going to be writing "The Field Guide To The Urban Man" ... and it's sponsored by Neiman Marcus.
Despite the fact that working in the advertorial section of a magazine makes her a bit of a sellout, Hannah's excited about her new gig. Especially when she finds out there are free snacks involved. Unlimited lox and Sun Chips!
She has her flaws, but Hannah's a personable girl and she instantly makes friends in her new (and very empty) office. After noting that she became well-acquainted with the snack room quickly, her boss Janice a.k.a. Jenna Lyons also takes a quick liking to Hannah and her sharp ideas.
Okay, so there's one guy who tells Hannah he just doesn't like her face -- "You look like someone I dated who I hated even while I was dating them," he tells her -- but otherwise Hannah is on cloud nine.
But when her colleague Karen tries to compliment her by telling her she could have Janice's job in ten years, Hannah tells her she has no intention of being there in ten years. No offense, but she's, like, a writer writer.
Although most 25-year-olds I know would kill to be in Hannah's shoes, in true Hannah form she marches straight into Janice's office and tells her that she has bigger plans for her life than an advertorial position at GQ.
"Alright Hannah, there a lot of other people who would love to have your job," Janice says in a perfect "Devil Wears Prada" monotone.
Hannah somehow manages to un-quit her cushy job that can actually cover the rent -- by the way, how exactly has she been paying that all season? -- and she vows to spend her nights and weekends writing. Sounds like a plan, Horvath.
Overall self-involvement: 10. Because really, who thinks highly enough of themselves to tell their boss on day two that they want to ditch a paycheck, health benefits and a snack room to pursue their creative endeavors?
Marnie may have eloquently told Ray to "go fuck himself" last week, but Ray is actually trying to pursue something with Marnie. After he calls her and she hangs up on him a few times, he stops by her apartment with muffins in an effort to preserve their friendship.
"Muffins from the place you run, what an extravagant gesture," Marnie says with her signature eye roll.
They end up having sex, but it's the thought that counts.
He even takes her out to lunch, where they get into a very loud fight about Africa and end up calling each other dumb. They're just as wrong for each other as you would expect, but something about their relationship makes me feel a little bit less sad for both of them. They may be a match made in hell, but at least they're a little less lonely.
Overall self-involvement: 5.
After catching Ray shooting hoops one afternoon, it seems Shoshanna has decided she's had enough casual sex for this lifetime and is ready to lock down a boyfriend.
Yeah, she's having some Ray-related regrets. After all, Time Out New York did call his coffee shop a "fresh departure from the average coffee house grind." That being said, she's still in college and she's swimming in a sea of options.
She settles on Parker, a cute guy she once called "so dumb that he couldn't find the library." But halfway through sex with Parker, Shoshanna realizes that she and Parker just aren't meant for each other. Maybe she does need a guy who can tie his shoes.
Is it just me, or is Shoshanna becoming an unbearable character? What happened to that nice girl who loved nothing more than her snuggie, reminiscing about camp and experimenting with an exciting new updo?
Overall self-involvement: 9.
Aside from those early episode, Jessa's making herself scarce. The good news is that she still has that job she applied for at the end of last episode, but the bad news is that it doesn't seem like she'll keep it for very long.
Aside from when Shoshanna stops by to talk incessantly about herself, Jessa seems to be very bored. So bored, in fact, that she tells a mother that unless her daughter is morbidly obese, the dress she's looking at will fit her.
Did no one tell Jessa that the customer's always right? Or that you need to maintain some level of courtesy to hold down a retail job? Here's to hoping she's still employed and not back in rehab next week.
Overall self-involvement: 9.
"Girls" airs on Sundays at 10 p.m. EST on HBO.