Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Season 1, Episode 7 of Fox's "The Mindy Project," titled "Teen Patient."
There was never a question that Mindy is a stellar gynecologist. But who knew she could double as a sex ed teacher?
In Episode 7 of "The Mindy Project," Sophia -- a girl who lives in Mindy's building -- excitedly tells her that she and her boyfriend Henry are planning on having sex next weekend. And that's not all: She wants birth control!
Being a woman of action, Mindy takes it upon herself to stop by Sophia's high school to fill Henry's mind with knowledge. After bonding with a gay student and having balls of paper thrown at her -- they've obviously mistaken her for a student, as Mindy is positive she looks 18 -- Henry tells her he's not planning on going to college, but that he will be with Sophia forever.
Back at the office, Betsy is spilling her guts to Danny and admits that she wrote an anonymous note claiming that Morgan had groped Shauna's breasts. Why? Because she doesn't feel all that pretty. By the end of their conversation, she somehow gets Danny to say she looks like Jessica Rabbit. Talk about sexual harassment!
Meanwhile, Mindy is still trying to stop Sophia from having sex, which leads Sophia straight into the restaurant booth of Josh, Mindy's current squeeze. He tells Sophia he's not sure if he's a "forever kind of guy," which leads Mindy to freak out, distribute condoms to the girl's volleyball team and end up in handcuffs.
Luckily, Danny shows up to "bail her out," and Josh later tells her he actually might be a forever kind of guy. Way to go, Josh!
And now, a few dialogue highlights from Tuesday night's episode of "The Mindy Project."
Arguably offensive lines:
Henry to Mindy: "I'm not going to college ... why should I load up on debt just to binge drink for four years when I could just create an app that gets me all the money I'll ever need?"
Sophia to Mindy: "How are you the ultimate judge of guys? I saw you hit on your Chinese delivery man one day!"
Josh to Sophia: "Normally I go for super-skinny white girls, but something about this one screamed 'yeah, okay.'"
Mindy to Sophia: "See, Sophia? This is the kind of guy you want to be with forever. He's sweet, he went to college, he's funnyish..."
Mindy to Gwen, after getting great advice: "Gwen, you're so smart. I wish we were lesbians and could get married. No sex or anything. Maybe a little kissing."
Mindy to Sophia, after Sophia announces she's reading "Freedom" and asks what Mindy's reading: "This is a novelization of the film 'Iron Man.' I thought Gywenth Paltrow would be in it more."
Mindy to Danny: "Not a lot of butt grabbers around here. And I should know. Walking target!"
Mindy to Sophia: "Lucky for you, your gynecologist looks 18. So I'm going to come visit you at high school."
Mindy to students: "Hey there, I'm an adult. Move because I have to sit down."
Betsy to Danny: "I think sometimes you just need your boss to tell you that you look sexy."
Out of context and amazing one-liners:
"Oh my God, I broke the intern."
"I just started a Groupon for HPV vaccination, and business has been blowing up."
"I get most of my information from Chelsea Handler books. And you."
"Are you laughing at the word gynecolist? Oh my god. What if you guys had a baby?"
"I'll tell you one thing that always lasts forever. Herpes. It's gross, and it is horrible."
"When we die, matching tombstones. A cherub crying next to us. Our grandkids come and visit the grave site and talk about us."
"The Mindy Project" airs Tuesdays at 9:30 p.m. ET on Fox.
Follow Leigh Weingus on Twitter: www.twitter.com/leighweingus